


Maddening Flower

by Yayate



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Twins, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Edeleth, F/F, Flirting, Mild Sexual Content, Neurodivergent Byleth, Self-Doubt, Slow Burn, Trans Female Character, Trans! Edelgard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-06 01:11:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 79,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21218093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yayate/pseuds/Yayate
Summary: Byleth had been alone, from the very day she had been born. The only one by her side was her father. The only people she spoke to were those of her mercenary company, and very rarely those that employed her.If only she hadn't met the three students that would forever change her life. If only her father hadn't dragged her deeper into this mess she had no knowledge of.And why did Jeralt hide so much from Byleth, about their family?And why... were these headaches, getting so much worse and worse?





	1. Chapter 1

“...Turn back time…”

What other choice did she have?

Byleth stood to the absolute precipice of death. Separated by the slightest fraction of a second.

Byleth was about to die.

She could see herself stand there, as the sharp blade of an axe drew closer and closer to her body.

“Sothis?”

A voice echoed out from the furthest reaches of her mind.

“Just one more time.”

* * * 

The evening’s light could barely break past the trees to illuminate the blood-soaked battlefield. Three youths stood at the midst, casually conversing with one another. Byleth stood more than a handful of feet away from them. Their discussion didn’t involve her, so she had no interest in intruding. If there was anything that needed to be said or done, her father could take care of it. Only the slightest bit of interest tugged at her sleeve. At her hand.

It was… unusual.

Why did she feel an urge to come closer?

It wasn’t like Byleth hated people, just…

They just made her a little uncomfortable.

Maybe it’d be okay. For her to step in closer, just this once.

For her to raise her rarely-used voice. And just drop in the lightest little ‘hi’.

It shouldn’t be that hard. Just take a deep breath. Close your eyes, and-

A loud and aggravated roar crackled through the air. One of the fallen bandits had drawn himself back onto his feet. His already-sizable body growing bigger as he charged at the three. The axe started fusing into his swelling, mutating body, before-

Why weren’t those three moving? How could they just stand there. Staring. You can’t just- you couldn’t just- They only had seconds to react, but those seconds should’ve been more than enough for them to disperse.

Byleth ran as fast as she could. In between the two, and the grotesque bandit. 

...and she was just barely fast enough.

But it left her with absolutely no time to block. His arms had almost grown too thick to cut in a single strike, and that thick armour might leave her blade deflected. Neck too high. The cleave bore too much strength to parry, and it wasn’t like it was possible to disarm him anymore. She could go for hi-

Huh?

No, that… wasn’t aimed at her at all. It was aimed at the three standing behind her. 

No time, no time, no time!

There was no time for this!

Byleth arced her blade upwards. With all of her strength. Forced to bet it all on a single strike!

...but thankfully

It worked.

The bandit was stopped in his tracks. And, with some sort of black goo oozing from his body slowly lost his size.

Byleth caught stopped his falling body with one hand, and quickly tossed him to her side. With a final ‘puff’ of energy, he had returned completely to ‘normal’, before quickly fading into a burnt, vaguely-humanoid husk. The former-human’s body even further started withering to ashes. Blown away through the scattering winds. Until nothing remained, and no trace of him was left behind.

Argh, headache. Followed by dizziness. As Byleth turned around to face the three, she almost collapsed. Barely catching herself on her sword.

...What were their names again?

No. Right. They had already introduced themselves, hadn’t they?

Edelgard von Hresvelg. Imperial Princess of Adrestia. 

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd. Prince of Faerghus

Claude von Riegan. The expected future leader of the Leicester Alliance.

...or something like that.

They all sounded really important. Sure, Byleth had protected some important people before, in her life as her mercenary. But not -this- important! They were usually just some noble of von something or other. They weren’t the leaders or soon-to-be leaders of entire countries!

“Are you okay? I hope you didn’t bring injury upon yourself by selflessly jumping to our protection…” The silver-haired princess was the first one to break the silence.

Um.

Oh

Right.

THAT was why her body kind of hurt. While the blood covering her body contained not a splash of her own, she hadn’t been able to avoid the occasional scratch and bruise. Her free hand pulled in front of her, and with a whisper of healing magic, the little damage she had suffered faded instantly.

“I’m fine now.”

But she must’ve taken a thump to the head, or something. Because she definitely still felt heavy and dizzy.

“Hey, kid. Alois here’s my former drinking partner. Only one I couldn’t completely drink under the table. Grab your everything and don’t forget your glasses, we’re escorting these kids home. Bring a few days’ worth of water. This might be a long one.”

...Wait, what?

“Might be healthy for you to hang out with some kids your age. Go, grab your stuff.”

Um.

No?

Father, that’s not fair. You know how difficult that is for me! If it was a several day journey with people like them and she was expected to talk and converse and do anything aside from silently protect them as she walked by their sides… um. How? The people ‘closest to her age’ here seemed like more than a handful. 

“Now, Byleth. You’re making them wait. Don’t me repeat myself a third time.”

R-Right, okay, sorry! Alright. Water, food… ah, she should probably wipe herself clean before she goes back out. The blood was starting to stick to her skin and smell.

And, um, what else?

Right! Glasses.

…

W-Where had she put them again? Um, not near her bookcase. Not on her nightstand. Not on her bed. Not there, not there, not there. Where were they! God, if she didn’t find them soon, Father was going to get mad at her, and… 

Byleth quickly poked her head out of their house. Calling for her father.

“Do- do you know where my glasses are?”

That… was not an emotion she tended to feel. She was struck with an unbearable urge to hide her face after asking such an innocent question. At least she managed to deflect from the most of this head-pain by making sure she had everything else ready. She dropped a sizeable stack of supplies off in front of the door. And as Father gestured at them, it seemed like everyone understood that they had no choice but to help pack everything up.

“Your desk, Byleth.”

“I checked.”

“Check again, Byleth.”

They’re not there…! Byleth stepped off, poked her head into her room, and…

Oh. They -were- there. How did she miss… them… right there.. On the middle of her desk… that she usually sat at to read. Wearing her glasses.

...they’re always there! Why haven’t you gotten used to checking there, Byleth!

After putting them on, she doubled back and quickly helped hoist the supplies. Most of it was helped onto Father’s horse, and whatever wouldn’t fit was spread into three bags. One for Byleth, one for her father, and one for her father’s friend. Father, as usual, took the largest bag and effortlessly hoisted it over his shoulders. Byleth was about to grab the second largest, but Alois snagged it right out of her hands. Leaving Byleth with a bag consisting of… almost nothing bar medical supplies.

...not fair. The group of three only needed to vaguely gesture at Byleth for her to feel a surge discomfort stir in her stomach.

It.. um… that…

Did she really have to come?

…

Well, the alternative was worse. It wasn’t like… she could stay here, alone, with as little supplies as she had left… alone. Sure, the mercenaries were there to provide any necessary support, but this was so sudden, and-

…

Well, okay… fair. 

“There’s someone your old man might want to introduce you to, too.”

“Alois, quiet. You’ll scare her.”

...Um

More people?

Could we… not…?

“Father?”

“Sorry, kid. This one’s non-negotiable. You’ll understand when we get there.”

Byleth tiredly nodded her head, before finishing up their final preparations. Doing her absolute best to avoid close proximity to their three latest clients. They all seemed rather talkative. At least one of them was always talking to one of the others. They didn’t even fall silent as they started their journey. Whenever the slightest bit of silence let Byleth feel as if she could escape this awkwardness, they just started something up anew.

...it took her a moment to realize that they were trying to include her, too. Occasionally calling out for ‘Lady Eisner’. It wasn’t something she had ever been called before, so only when her father told her to be polite and respond, did she realize they were actually talking about her. When she did join in, she realized that even providing mere responses to these three was beyond exhausting. They were very inquisitive, and even worse, they used a lot of nonsensical ‘idioms’ that basically had nothing to do with what they were actually trying to say. Over the course of hours, it had only gotten a little less difficult to talk to them. If only because they started using things Byleth could understand a lot less.

It wasn’t like it was entirely unpleasant! Just, so incredibly tiring.

“Lady Eisner?”

There was one thing that wouldn’t get easier, though. There was something about the way the silver-haired princess spoke her name, that just kind of made her want to run away. What… was it? Her tone? Her word choice? Her intonation?

...no, Byleth really couldn’t even pretend to understand where this problem was stemming from. It turned out reading books that kind of vaguely explained those things did very little to help her unbloomed social abilities. But, whatever it was? Both Dimitri and Claude felt void of even the slightest hint of whatever caused those specific anxieties. On the other hand, those two brought their own specific set of worries. No more placable, but flooded her with less immediate inclination to run away.

But thankfully-

Their journey wasn’t -too- long. 

They had already made it to their destination by sunrise. 

Garreg Mach.

An institution not too far from their own base. It was honestly quite a bit closer than most cities she and her father had visited. No less populous, either. Apparently, it was shared by a military academy and the Church of Seiros, and neither of these institutions were something their mercenary company exactly wanted to interact with… which definitely explained why they had never set foot even remotely near here, even with the close proximity. The three they had set to escort quickly scattered to wherever they had to head out to, and Alois told her father something vague about meeting ‘him’ at the usual spot. 

If escorting those three was tense, walking through the city was torture.

...why were so many of them… looking at her? Looking at her father…?

And why were there so many… younger people? Just walking about? 

Just look at the ground, Byleth. Keep walking, keep walking. Just keep walking and- ah. Ack!

Byleth came to a halt as she bumped into her brick-wall of a father.

“Ah, Father!”

...Um. No? That was coming from awfully close. Byleth pulled her attention off the ground and scattered about, as a blue-haired adult shifted closer to them. He was wearing… some sort of uniform, similar to what the other people here were wearing. He waved his hand out- very definitely in the direction of the pair of them. Byleth quickly turned around, but there was no-one there. Just an empty grass field with… oh, there was someone in the distance there-

Nope, nope.

“Hey, kid.”

“...Yes?” “Yeah?

Why… why was he responding, too?

No. This had to be some sort of dream. This felt wrong. This felt really wrong.

“Meet your twin brother, Byrett.”

Why would she have a brother!? A twin brother!? That she had never been told about? Wasn’t it just supposed to be her, her father, and the mother she had never met?

“I’ve told ya about her, brat, but here’s your little sister. Meet Byleth.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you, my dear sister.”

This wasn’t right. This definitely wasn’t right.

Something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong. Nausea. Dizziness. Headache. Pain. Why were her legs starting to feel so weak? Why were- ah.

When did she start looking at the sky…? Wasn’t it morning? Why was it starting to get so dark? And why was everything getting so loud…

* * * 

...Urgh. What just happened? Was that a bad dream? She was definitely in her bed, so-

No. Wait. Where was she? Um, she saved those three, she went on a walk, she met her… her…

...headache.

“Mornin’, kid. Sorry ‘bout the scare.”

...her father had some explaining to do. Byleth sat herself up. Slowly. Resting her back against the wall behind her. Before finally lifting her head up and staring straight at her father. Before she could open her mouth, he had already started to explain.

“I couldn’t take care of two of you brats. So I left one of you here. Figured you’d be better off never knowing about him. Didn’t really intend on ever bringing you here.”

...Why? Why would he, ever, just…

_ Accept it _

But why would he lie? Even if it didn’t make sense, her father wouldn’t outright -lie- to her, right? Yeah. He wouldn’t! Just. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. And accept it. It’ll make your headache fade. Just a little.

“He’s a good kid, but pretty different from you. Always been a social butterfly, don’t think he would’ve survived with us for a single day. Turns out he’s close to those three, probably why they were so interested in you. Didn’t realize I was literally throwing you in the flames there, sorry, kid.”

So not like her, at all?

“Okay.”

“That’s it? No more questions? You’ll really never change, kid.”

This was.. Different. Byleth needed a minute to digest whatever she had just been told. She felt like hearing even a single word more might spiral her back into the sea of nausea that lead to her blacking out, and thinking about it didn’t feel much better. Byleth reached over to her side and grasped at her sword, before quickly hopping out of bed and buckling it to back to her belt. Wouldn’t feel quite right to leave without it. Maybe moving her body around would help her vent some of this excessive stress.

“One final thing, kid. Someone wants to see you. I’d really rather not let you get close to her, but she took care of your brother, when I couldn’t. She should still be waiting outside. Hear her out, give me a yell if she gets on your nerves..”

...This was definitely the most she had heard her father talk in years. Especially about such… personal things. The most she had ever gotten out of him before were some faint stories of her mother, and how wonderful and strong she was. Other than that, they just talked about work, work, work…

If he had so much to talk about, why did he never bring any of this up before? Why wait until now to dump all of this on her? 

She… really needed to get out of here. Even if just so she could breathe. Too much talking. Way too much talking. But as Byleth touched her hand to the door and stepped out.

“Oh, Byleth. My dear, sweet Byleth.”

But again, she was greeted.

This time, by a woman.

The first person she had ever seen- that shared the shine of her hair.


	2. Chapter 2

Why did she feel so familiar?

Those green eyes. That green hair. Something in her voice. Something in her very being. This was not someone she knew. In fact, this wasn’t even someone she had ever seen before! The usual Byleth would do her best to avoid any sort of contact. Maybe even walk away, and claim she was in too much of a hurry to stop and talk. Sometimes she’d even just stay silent until they walked away. She could always feel her body tense up, whenever she was approached. An uncomfortable feeling that always reminded her of how little she wanted to be there.

So why

Instead

Did her feet bring her closer, to this woman, that she had never met before?

To this woman, whose name she had never even heard?

“I’ve waited for nineteen long years to see you again. My, how much you’ve grown. How beautiful your hair has become…”

Byleth could feel her arms wrap around her. She could feel her fingers gently curl through the messy locks of her hair. Occasionally getting her fingers stuck in a knot. And painfully forcing her digits right through it. Why was she touching her?

Please stop touching me.

...why couldn’t she say it?

Please. Stop touching me!

Why couldn’t she talk?

“Do you remember me, Byleth? Do you have even the faintest memory of me?”

“No.”

And honestly, she felt like she didn’t want to.

“It’s me. Rhea. Has your father told you nothing about me?”

Um. No. Father had barely told her anything, at all. Byleth shook her head, more in confusion than in defiance, prompting this ‘Rhea’ to speak more.

“How very much like him. He’s not one to change.”

No- that- that didn’t even answer her unspoken question! Who -are- you!?

Why couldn’t she get those objections past her lips?

But, as if she had finally heard Byleth’s wordless desperation, Rhea finally pulled herself back and ended that comfortless embrace, isntead holding her hands locked in front of her waist.

“My apologies. Jeralt had warned me about how skittish you could be.”

Was this the part where she was supposed to turn around and call for her father? This person was definitely starting to make her excessively uncomfortable. Her father isn’t kidding. Maybe she should just. Turn around and call for him. Yeah. That’d be the right thing to do, right? Her touchiness was uncomfortable, but no less so was her unwillingness to stop talking and to stay quiet.

Compose yourself, Byleth. Pull yourself together. Just ask one question. Start from the beginning.

“...so who are you?”

“He really has told you nothing. Byleth, I am your godmother, I was the first one to hold you after your birth. And I am the one chosen to take care of your delightful brother.”

...Um.

...okay… sure?

What does that even mean? The ‘godmother’ part? 

“Hey. Rhea. It’s her first day. Cut the crap and let her run around a little, you’re startling her.”

“My, my, Jeralt. You never change. Usually so aloof, yet so protective around your kids.”

“And you never grow less tiring. You told her what you wanted to tell her, you had something you wanted to talk to me about.”

...this was definitely as good of a chance to leave as any. Their bickering continued to escalate more, and while Rhea kept her voice steady and stable, her father’s quickly sunk to how he often sounded in the midst of combat. It was the least pleasant her father ever got to be around, and honestly, the unwavering tone in Rhea’s voice made it feel so much more ominous.

...Honestly, while Byleth was happy to breathe unchoked air, there was just the slightest bit of curiosity that left her turning around when halfway down the hallway, but they had already disappeared to… wherever. Father really only sounded like this in combat, so he must really dislike that Rhea person… probably why he told her to stay away, too.

Nn, thinking about that made her feel a little gross. Rhea kinda forced her way forward and embraced her, after all. If she was someone her father so severely disliked, was there any reason for her to interact with this person, ever again?

Probably not.

...when were they leaving again?

Byleth stumbled around a little, before finally getting herself out of the building and into the afternoon sun, and thankfully by a measure of calmth. Actually, looking about, the entire place seemed just-about all empty. Aside from the occasional person walking about here and there, Byleth could finally get some time to herself. Just a little. Would be wonderful. And that grass seemed really nice, and comfortable, and tended to. Maybe she could just sit herself down a little, and enjoy the warmth of the sun…

“Ah! Sister! Perfect! You’re just the one I need--”

Um. Wait no. What. You didn’t even exist to her before, Byrett! Don’t talk to her like that! And especially don’t- Byleth yelped as he suddenly grabbed onto her arm- roughly, and yanked her right back onto her feet. Before Byleth could yank herself back, he had already grabbed at her wrist and started pulling her away, towards the nearby buildings.

“Please don’t touch me.”

“My apologies! Something sudden has happened to the Black Eagles’ teacher, could you please fill in?”

“No, I can’t-”

Like… Are you seriously asking something like that of her!? To teach a bunch of people she didn’t even know!? When she could barely talk to people she did know!?

“You can sure, okay, thanks, good luck.”

...it all happened in like, ten seconds. She could barely even regain her balance before her supposed brother shoved her straight into the classroom. When she turned around to step away, she was met with an already closed door, followed up with the horrifying sound of a lock clicking into place. Did he just… seriously lock her in here?

Well, fire it is, then. Byleth closed her eyes as she focused her internal energy to the palm of her hand. The slightest shimmer of flame warmed her hand as she brought her internal energies forward and--

“Excuse me, lady Eisner, are you to be our interim professor?”

Oh- wait, no, don’t do that! The fire in her hand scattered, and the lightest few embers singed across her palm. Byleth wasn’t exactly an expert at magic, and unexpected distractions could cause… unpleasant reactions to occur. If she wanted to burn down the door rather than blast it open, for example, such a distraction could very easily lead to the entire classroom burning down.

As Byleth turned about, she saw the silver-haired princess standing, right there. At a desk. At the front of class. Books open. Whiteboard covered in scribbles, uh…

Um.

Given the situation, she had probably been standing there the entire time. And with the way her eyes locked so firmly onto her body, did she… um, see all of that? Was she watching when her newfound brother kind of… basically tossed her into the classroom? Byleth’s eyes peered over the rest of ‘her’ class, noticing that most-everyone’s gazes had firmly attached to her. With some expressions being vividly more noticeable than others. At least… two of them were smiling? That was a positive thing, r-right? Since smiles are happy and positive…

What was this sensation that was flooding to her cheeks…? Why was her desire to flee getting even worse? Her body was starting to feel a little warmer, too. Sure, she was so uncomfortable with the company of others, but this sensation… was completely different. Looking over her forcefully assigned ‘students’ felt a little uncomfortable, but when her gaze fell back on the one that stood at the front, the flame in her cheeks grew stronger still.

Ah. This was bad.

Why was this bad?

...not sure, but this is definitely bad.

“Lady Eisner?”

For one, looking at the gazes everyone held made her feel repulsed. Some sort of fear was doing its absolute best to have her hide her face within the safety of her hands. But when she looked at the head student, it grew into something worse. More painful. Crushing. Shredding. 

It was pretty horrible… maybe Father knew what it meant. Right now, you just have to focus on pulling yourself together, By-

“Byleth?”

“S-Sorry, El!”

Wait. That, that- that... ...that… definitely wasn’t her name. 


	3. Chapter 3

‘I’m sorry, El.’

Are… are you kidding?

Why did she say that? That very definitely wasn’t her name. Wasn’t she a noblewoman? Something of a princess? While manners had certainly never been even close to her forte, she was wise enough to understand one should never refer to a noble so casually. They seemed to consistently be insanely infatuated by their status. And the girl in front of her? Wasn’t she royalty? And wasn’t royalty on a completely different level? The nobles of nobles?

...she had only met her a few hours ago…

“Excuse me?”

Ah. She was mad. She had to be mad. Byleth turned her face to the side and focused her eyes on the whiteboard. Maybe trying to focus on reading would distract her increasing anxiety and worries and-

Why was it so blurr- oh god, she forgot her glasses. Must’ve left them in the infirmary. Um. So she couldn’t distract herself like that. So maybe she just, maybe she just… Byleth slowly panned her eyes back. She could see the slightest upwards curl on El’s lips. Wait. Did that mean she wasn’t upset about it? Um, wasn’t what she did really rude? No, put, El even put out a firm ‘Excuse me’. That had to mean she was upset! She had a habit of misreading expressions, but El’s wording was firm enough to-

Argh, why are you even internally referring to herself as ‘El’ now? 

“I’m… I’m sorry. I mean… um, Lady Hresvelg.”

El let out a deep sigh and shook her head slightly. Yup. She did something bad.

“I do not mind you referring to me so casually, but I would prefer it if you referred to me full first name.”

Yup. She did bad.

“Please- follow me, Professor.”

…

Professor? Wait, were they actually going to call her that? Please don’t. Stick to her first name. Byleth tried to stammer out a denial, but before she could, El had already turned away and gestured at her to follow. Um, wait! Don’t do that, El quickly lead her to ‘her’ desk and started explaining things, but the emotional influx made any such stimulation too overwhelmingly strong to actually process.

There was… a little too much happening. A lot too fast. Byleth, a life-long mercenary with little-to-no social skills, brought to teach a class of… military students? Even if fighting was the one skill she had honed and perfected throughout her life, how was she supposed to teach anyone about… anything else? Or even that, really!? How was she supposed to even start talking to them… 

“Um, El- Edelgard? Could you please… slow down?”

“My apologies. You had already mentioned your difficulties coping with excess stimulation-” El’s words were interrupted by someone giggling very loudly from somewhere within the classroom. “...Quiet, Dorothea. Professor, would you rather I start over?”

No, Byleth’d rather run away as fast as she possibly could. But, if she had to stay here, that was probably her only choice. Plus, there was something nice about listening to her. Even if the imperial princess had given her nothing but social stress, she had a really pretty voice that Byleth could listen to for hours… from a safe distance. El was extremely intimidating. And while her voice just made Byleth want to listen more, something about it also just made her want to run away. Maybe she’d be best listened to from behind the safety of a door…

Deep breaths, Byleth. Let yourself calm down…

“Could you please start from the beginning?”

The next several hours were filled with introduction and assistance. While awkwardly trying to think of anything she could even potentially start with, she stumbled onto the idea of having everyone introduce themselves. While it was partially to kill time in her hopefully short-lived professorial career, Byleth hoped she would be just a little less terrified if she knew anyone about anyone here. Most of the class successfully managed to do that! Except for the shy Bernadetta and the sleeping Linhardt. Thankfully, El could take over for them.

But even that was scary.

Even though it was just the students standing up and talking about themselves, it still made her really uncomfortable. And even if her discomfort grew less and less, it definitely wasn’t willing to disappear. About halfway through their next subject- what weapons they used, how they fought, what they wished to learn, and the slightest little silvers of their desires for the future, Byleth’s twin brother stepped in.

He mentioned something about how he hopes everyone will manage to be polite and patient with his sister. To treat her as they would him, if a little more gently because of her ‘difficulties’ and ‘fragilities’. Before finally, uh, right as he got ready to leave? He mentioned something about how Rhea and her father have offered and preemptively accepted an invitation for her to function as a permanent part of Garreg Mach Academy.

And that she’d be staying here for the foreseeable future.

...it was so incredibly overwhelming that the next parts of class actually went better. Byleth’s mind had actively shut down as she started to emptily regurgitate whatever she could think of, all of which was just information from books that had popped back into her mind. Byleth had them talk about their futures. What they wanted to learn. Why they joined Garreg Mach. All sorts of generic questions books about an average school life seemed to focus on. It might not be entirely befitting of a military academy, but…

It kept the day going.

And it helped Byleth not be alone with her thoughts. If she let herself emotionally sit still, she’d probably start screaming. Because that meant she’d have to think about-

Oh good.

The loud rings of the clocktower’s bells marked the end of class.

...wait, that really wasn’t good.

It wasn’t like she was enjoying this. Not at all. It was seriously awful. But it kept her thinking. As soon as the thoughts of thanks left her mind and felt like this was all over… she remembered it really, really, really wasn’t going to be. Because. Her father. And this ‘Rhea’ person. And her brother…

As the final person - the Hubert guy- left the classroom, Byleth was left completely alone. With no mental energy left to power her body, she just collapsed straight down into her desk. How was this so hard? She just had to sit, talk and listen. That shouldn’t be exhausting, right? So why did her body feel like this? Why did she feel so much heavier, even compared to her toughest assignments?

While her headache and nausea hadn’t returned, this definitely no less unpleasant. This was… definitely the most social experience Byleth had ever been forced to undergo in her life. Byleth usually only had her father, or maybe a one-on-one session with one of her fellow mercenaries. Sometimes, she stood by as her father met with whoever had given them their latest mission, but…

How often did she have to talk to people? Not a singular person, multiple people? Not with them- to, towards them? She wasn’t just expected to respond, she was forced to somehow carry the entire conversation on her back! Sure, the long walk towards Garreg Mach had dragged her through a lifetime of interaction, but… god, at least she wasn’t expected or supposed to lead the conversation!

“I wanna go home...”

“Chin up, kiddo.”

Oh, um- ah! Father! Byleth quickly sat herself up and straightened out her clothes, before drawing her attention towards her parent. She felt at a complete loss for words. Really, all she wanted to do was incoherently scream at him, but she had approximately no energy left in her system to spend on something like that.

“So, rough first day?”

Huh? Father? What’s- what’s wrong with your face? Why are you showing your teeth? Wait, why are you kneeling, and-... ah. His fingers started gently stroking through Byleth’s hair. Flashing something that was probably supposed to be a smile. 

“Yeah…”

“Sorry ‘bout that. Didn’t really intend to toss you right into the fray, there. But you did well, the students seem to be happy with ya.”

It was hard… to look at her father like this. Bearing this expression she had never seen before. A smile far wider than the usual tiny ones he seemed to bear. Byleth was bad at the ‘emotions’ thing. She couldn’t read people. She understood she couldn’t read people. But, she thought that she had come to understand her father, even if just a little… 

But then, what was with this expression?

Smiles usually mean that a person is happy, right? Byleth knew she could smile wide when she was stressed, but when she told her father about this, years ago, he confirmed he didn’t do it himself.

That meant it was a happy smile, right?

So, if he had never bore this expression before, did that mean…

Byleth looked off to the side. Don’t think about something like that, please. Don’t do that to yourself. Even considering that thought leaves you with acid encroaching upon your throat. It’s.. it’s okay, Byleth. You’re just bad at understanding people. 

“I wanted to give ya a week to prepare, and to run ya through it and watch over your first day, but Rhea had some uh, urgent business I had to attend to.”

That… would’ve been so much easier. Having someone she knew and trusted stand in the background would probably do wonders for her courage and ability to functionally handle what she was supposed to do. He taught her how to fight, so maybe he had some sort of idea on how this teaching thing was supposed to work.

“Sorry ‘bout that, kiddo.”

He was talking so much more than usual. Her father was a lot more talkative than she was, but he wasn’t usually quite like this. Well, maybe when he was drunk, but she couldn’t smell the always-obvious scent of alcohol linger around him. But he was definitely acting as if he were drunk…

Maybe he was, anyway, it’d explain a lot of things.

“Happy bein’ home again?”

“This isn’t home.”

Byleth shuffled towards the very edge of her chair. Putting as much distance between her and her father as she could. Even if her drunk father was kind and caring, it was always a little… uncomfortable when he behaved like this. Her father responded with silence, which was pretty unusual for his inebriated self. While the silence was definitely still unpleasant, this still felt so much better than what she had before.

“Always has been, kid.”

Byleth shook her head. Please don’t call this ‘home’. It isn’t home. ‘Home’ was their old lodge by the forest. ‘Home’ was where they returned to after an exhausting mission. Home was not somewhere she had just arrived. Her father just responded a loud sigh. And again, silence. And it stayed silent, until Byleth backed up her chair and stood up.

“Look, kid. Give it a night. If ya still wanna go ‘home’ tomorrow, just go. You’re an adult, Byleth, you can take care of yourself, and live by yourself.”

Hey- wait, what, no! What!? No, that’s not fair! Being alone gets terrifying! The long, weekend-long missions her father often took always left her worried and exhausted! Sure, she often could just get company from whatever of her father’s mercenaries, but… geez. And those were just weekends. They happened constantly and were occuring more and more often, but they were still just weekends! ‘Live’ alone? To be alone with nobody else around…?

...Byleth might not be the most personable person, but to live without her father…

“Thought so. Look, you could use some time with your family. With me, your brother and your, uh, aunt, Rhea. You’ll even be able to get closer with some people your age- you’re only a few years older than the youngest ones. You’re twenty-one, ya need some friends.”

...I don’t have any family other than you, father. I don’t even -know- these people… I really don’t want to be here. I really don’t want to be a -teacher-. Byleth turned herself away from her father. He was starting to get really frustrating. He was starting to get… very ‘not himself’. Why was he being so insistent? 

“Sorry…”

...was she doing something wrong? Why would her father get like this, if she wasn’t doing something wrong…? Her head hung and she stared into the ground. Starting to feel unpleasantly guilty.

“‘Salright. We can talk about this more- tomorrow. Get some food in you, and spend some time with the people here. It’ll make you happy.”

Sure. Something… like that. Byleth quitely pulled herself away from her father. Towards the door. Giving him one final look. That was… definitely her father. So why- why was he acting so un-him-like? Why was he acting so… creepy?

“See you tomorrow, then…”


	4. Chapter 4

What was wrong with Father? Why was he behaving like this? 

Byleth really couldn’t even begin to imagine what had driven her father to behave this way. Her indomitable father spoke like someone that wasn’t him. He moved like someone that wasn’t him. Even if he looked the same, and his voice sounded the same, this was not the kind of person her father was. It wasn’t even the kind of person her drunk father was! Sure, the affection and kindness were reminiscent of how he could behave while heavily intoxicated, but… still! This wasn’t like him. It really wasn’t like him! This wasn’t the first time he spoke about what a miracle it would be for Byleth to make some friends, but… everything around that?

Byleth thought she knew him so very well. Even if Byleth was a person that could never understand other people, she thought she at least knew the workings of her father! Whenever she spoke to someone- be it her fellow mercenaries, or a client she had to personally interact with, she always felt so lost. But her father was always there to help! Whenever she felt lost, she always had her father to fall back on! Her father knew Byleth’s limitations, and he always tried his best to support her whenever she had to be driven closer to her limitations, so why… would he ever say those sorts of scary things to her? Why would he ever force her into something like this? Sure, her father often made decisions she wasn’t really a part of, but they never involved forcing Byleth into a situation like this! It never involved putting her in a situation she directly feared! Because he knew and understood her limitations! And Byleth thought she had always understood him, too! Like, in general! 

Father understood daughter, and daughter understood father.

Byleth felt safe around her father, and no one else. Because they understood each other! It wasn’t like… Her father had told her everything! He never really told Byleth anything about their family. She didn’t know she had a brother, that she had an aunt...honestly, she knew pretty much nothing about her mother, either! The only thing her father told her about her mother was that she was ‘an amazing person’ and that she made him happy. She didn’t even know her mother’s name… but that was okay. Her father always said it hurt to say anything more, and she didn’t want her father to hurt! 

But.

But this…

How much did she just ‘not know’ about her father? And why did she care so much? And why did this make her worry so much? It made her feel so, so gross. Especially because she knew that her father was… there was no way he… stopped wanting ‘the best for her’, right? After years upon years upon years of stressing how important that was to him, she really couldn’t- or rather, she did her absolute best not to- imagine that had changed. Why was all of this so scary? It… it was just going to be the same as it had always been. Nothing was going to change between them! The difference will be that she’d have a brother and an aunt now! Why would anything change between her and her father? Nothing would change between them. Nothing would ever… ever change between them!

...Father always said that eating was an activity they should enjoy together, whenever they could! And they always did, whenever they could… 

Mm, whatever. Byleth really didn’t need food, she just needed to clear her mind. Um. Training, where was she supposed to train? Ah, she could read! If only she had brought any books with her. Um, maybe she could, maybe she could…

Ahh, this was so frustrating… pacing around really didn’t help, either. It did help her stoke up an appetite, but considering how crowded the cafeteria seemed to be, Byleth really didn’t want to just… dive in. Her anxiety clashed with her hunger, until the building pain in her belly finally broke her down. Had she even eaten yesterday? Probably not. She hadn’t really eaten anything on the way over to Garreg Mach, either. She kept herself properly hydrated and everything, but it was a little difficult to eat in the presence of anyone more than her father. 

Ahh, if only she had swallowed her nausea and just shoved some of their ‘rations’ down her throat… well, whatever. The cafeteria it is, then.

...why was all of Garreg Mach in here!? There were rows upon rows upon tables, and almost every single chair was filled… and there were even a bunch of people standing and walking about! As if the countless people sitting wasn’t enough to deeply enervate Byleth. Yeah, uh, maybe she SHOULD just turn around and leave. Ignore the fantastic smell, Byleth, and just walk away…

“Professor! Over here!”

Please don’t be me please don’t be me please don’t be me-

Dammit. Byleth couldn’t stop herself from looking. It WAS aimed at her. One of her ‘students’- a beautiful brunette wearing a cute cap, who was conveniently sitting with the rest of her class- was waving at her, and… um… Well, Byleth couldn’t bolt away anymore. That, somehow, felt even scarier than actually walking in and approaching them. At least she had even a singular prior conversation with all of them… given that the two that refused to introduce themselves in class were also absent from their table. 

...it could’ve been a lot worse. She didn’t feel the dread she always felt whenever her fellow mercenaries called her over. And, if she ignored them, they always got more awfully forceful and pushy, so… silently, Byleth waved back, before dragging herself to their table and taking one of the free chairs. She tried taking the furthest away one at their table, given it had an extra free chair between her and her class, but- ah, don’t touch me! Byleth noticed a hand slip closer to her from the corner of her eye and she immediately recoiled and turned away, almost falling off her chair in the process.

...she sure wished this reflex kicked in when she was approached by her aunt or her brother. It might’ve made this day a lot less awkward…

“Professor?”

Byleth slowly untensed and let herself turn back. Oh, it was Dorothea. She still had her hand half-reached out, but she held enough distance for it to not become uncomfortable. She seemed a little… upset? Uncomfortable? Well, regardless of what emotion it was exactly

“U-Um, sorry… I-I’m not used to being touched…” Ah, what are you saying!? No, Byleth, you just don’t like being touched! Without warning! Why couldn’t she get that out of her mouth!? Why couldn’t she just tell Dorothea that she -really- didn’t want people to touch her, to reach out to her, or really even consider touching her without any sort of consent!? 

...it was that look on her face, wasn’t it? Directly saying that she had done something bad… it would definitely only serve to make her expression fall even further. Byleth herself sure always hated it when she got scolded by her father… and a professor was kind of like a sort of caretaker, right…? Well, that’s what the books she read said! ...and that was an okay thing to go off of, right? It was kind of… her only frame of reference. Like, she sometimes assisted in commanding their battalions of mercenaries, but that was different! For once, she wasn’t told to make friends with them! And for two, they were… different. She didn’t have to get personally involved with them, so they weren’t people! Just pawns on a chess-like battlefield.

“Oh- I’m sorry. I wanted to know if you would prefer trading seats? So you could sit in the middle and, you know, get to know us all better?”

Well. No. But, um… would it even be okay to refuse? Especially if she was going to be their teacher… but um, she was fairly certain she made an idiot out of herself already. Could she really worsen their impression of her? Well, probably. Couldn’t she just run away? No, it was too late for that. If she wanted to do that, her last chance was before she actually approached her students. Logically speaking, feigning interest and then running away would be worse than simply running away. By showing interest, you build up expectations within people! Father was really bad with it. While for the last three or so months, Father was constantly by her side, the months before that were filled with broken promises. He had developed a terrible habit of drunkenly telling Byleth they could go out fishing ‘this weekend’, and then just be nowhere to be found for those free days…

“Professor?”

“Eh?” Oh- ah! Right! You were supposed to be in the middle of a conversation! People expected prompt reactions and prefered not to be left waiting! “Sorry.” Byleth stumbled out as she hesitantly pulled herself out of the safety of her own chair. Byleth would’ve REALLY rather not, she would really rather not! But… part of making friends is doing what they ask of you! And this! Shouldn’t be too hard! Just sit down, and-

Byleth instantly lost her train of thought, as she realized all- well, most of her students were looking at her. They were making it really hard for her to not just run away. Okay, slow down, Byleth. Breathe. Close your eyes, listen to all of their breathing, and regulate your breathing. They hadn’t actually said anything yet. That should mean it wouldn’t be rude for her to just stay a little quiet!

“So, good looks run in the family?” Dorothea was the first one to open her mouth.

“I don’t know. I thought I had no family, other than Father.” That was… an okay answer, right? It was truthful and concise!

“I mean, your father, your brother, and you are-”

“Dorothea, could you let our Professor have one day of peace before you start hitting on her?” Edelgard quickly cut Dorothea short, leaving her without a response other than a short ‘Awww.’

...w-wait, hitting on her!? She just asked if her entire family was- ohh. Now she got it. Byleth could feel her cheeks warm up, and the only response she could muster was silently staring down to her own legs. While this was far from the first time Byleth had been ‘flirted’ with, this was definitely different from how the men in her company approached this. Whenever someone hit on Byleth, it was always accompanied by unwanted physical contact, and always quickly followed by a wave of caustic nausea. But this?

...this was a lot more pleasant. What. What was she even supposed to say in return? Byleth did her absolute best to mutter out a helpless little ‘thank you’, but she got nothing but the lightest whine past her lips. Dorothea was very attractive, too! But just the thought of returning her compliment was enough to make Byleth shrink back into her chair. Weren’t students just supposed to like, ask stuff about school? 

“I apologize on Dorothea’s behalf, Professor. All of us have been eager to meet Byrett’s little sister.” No. Please don’t say anything like that. Her name was Byleth. She couldn’t help but feel immediately defensive as the subject shifted to her brother. “And I also apologize for my improper behaviour yesterday. Jeralt had warned me that you’re not particularly apt in social situations, and I feel like I might have made you feel a little uncomfortable.”

Wait, he did? Ahh, she really shouldn’t have doubted him. Her father had always been that kind of person! 

“So, is it all true?” the energetic Caspar, who had been sitting opposite to her, practically launching himself out of his chair. Byleth shifted her chair back a little. He was getting too loud. And for some reason, he was leaning himself over the table. Pushing his head closer and closer. As if the table-worth of distance wasn’t already bordering on the edge of too close.

“Caspar.” Soon after, Edelgard raised her voice, and while that was enough to get Caspar back into his chair, her strong tone almost reflexively made Byleth apologize. 

“Oh? Huh, sorry. But Professor is it really all true!?”

Please don’t be so loud. While this was a lot better than he had been a few seconds before, this was still more-than-enough to get on Byleth’s nerves. Especially considering that his question lacked the actual ‘question’ part! “What?” Byleth called out, maybe a bit too loudly for her own comfort.

“You know- everything! All those stories your dad keeps telling us! Are you really Fódlan’s strongest!? Could you take Byrett? Could you beat my dad- could you beat your dad!?”

“I don’t know, maybe?” Wait, keeps telling you? Did he spend all morning recounting stories about making sure they knew how strong Byleth was? That was a little flattering- but on the other hand, it was also mildly aggravating. Now she had some delusional stories to live up to, too…

“The last story he told us, was- uh… Linhardt! What was the last story Jeralt told us!?” he went quiet as he looked around the table, quickly noticing he wasn’t there, before opening his loud mouth again. “Uh! Right! He’s asleep! Petra, do you remember!? Dorothea!? Uh, Edelgard, you’re always listening intently, do you-”

“S-Shut up!” A high-pitched voice came from Edelgard’s seat, one that definitely didn’t sound like Edelgard at all. “Please refrain from slandering me in front of our new Professor.” Within less than a second, though, it went back to normal. Not the slightest hint of anything had shown on her face- well, some of it might have, but Byleth definitely couldn’t read it.

“Huh? You- uh, I thought...” Caspar held his hand to his face, putting on his best thinking expression.

“Oh, she’s just embarrassed. My little Edie doesn’t want people to know about her more childish hobbies.”

“Dorothea…!”

“Oh, I see, I see! Oh yeah, nope! I was wrong! I remember it now! Edelgard never really cared at all! That’s it!”

The reigns of the conversation jumped between three people over the course of a second. They were being so impolite to one-another, just stealing the reigns of conversation whenever they pleased rather than just letting anyone finish. But that wasn’t what was important here. It definitely didn’t sound like they were just told these stories this morning. It was a little scary, but it seemed like Byleth had to be the one to grab the reins of the conversation. They had started talking and probably arguing between each other, so Byleth wasn’t exactly left with much opportunity to jump in.

“So.” And they just wouldn’t stop “Um…” This is really important! Please quiet down for a little. “I just…” they kept talking over her. They didn’t even acknowledge her. They just kept speaking. Over her. Showing a perfect example of why she couldn’t handle conversation. Were this not so important to her, she would’ve probably gone completely silent. But instead, she tried to call out one last time.

“I-I’m trying to talk!”

They went silent. Except it wasn’t just them. A large part of the hallway was left without words. It was only momentary, but it created an awkward, choking silence that left her incapable of uttering even a single word. Only when ruckus returned to the cafeteria did she feel the energy to speak return.

“Go on, Professor.” Thanks, Dorothea.

“Oh! Sorry! I didn’t hear you at all! You’re so quiet yo-” Caspar soon opened his mouth, before being promptly shushed by Dorothea. Thank you again, Dorothea…

“How do you know my father?”

Again, silence. It never stopped being awkward. Whenever she said something and didn’t instantly get some sort of acknowledgement or response she always wanted to go and hide in a hole, but this felt even worse. The fact that all of them went silent for a good ten seconds made Byleth feel so horribly guilty. When Caspar stood up and responded, it quickly faded away, only to be replaced by something worse.

“Well, uh, how wouldn’t we know one of our teachers?"


	5. Chapter 5

What do you mean? One of ‘your teachers’? How could he be one of your teachers!? Her father was an insanely busy mercenary! They had work to do, almost every single day! Her father never took an unnecessary day off! Even when he left Byleth to her own devices, it was time he spent honing his skills! Or making sure he could get 

...right?

The weekends he wasn’t with her. The weeks he used to stay away. The rare month. The one-time year. If Caspar wasn’t lying, that meant that he was here. With her brother, and not with her. Happily living a fulfilling life where he could no-doubt bare that wide smile every single day.

That couldn’t be right. That really couldn’t be right. Because he wouldn’t leave her. He would never do something that cruel. He would never live a second, happier life, this far away from Byleth. He wouldn’t just abandon her! He would never abandon her. Never, never, never, never…

This has to be some weird misunderstanding. It had to be.

“What was the last time you saw him?”

Caspar sat down and crossed his arms. His mind once more hard-at-work. Byleth honestly didn’t want to hear an answer. She already knew what his answer was going to be. Three months ago.

That was the last time he disappeared, after all. 

Byleth crossed her arms onto the wide, wooden table, and just dug her face as deep within them as she could. Soon after, a hand landed on her shoulder. Squeezing down. Rubbing over her. 

“Oh! Yeah! I know! It was three-eee-ee… what happened with the Professor?”

Nothing, Caspar, nothing. Your professor’s head is just starting to hurt. She just needs a few minutes, to let her head calm down. Everything is fine. Father surely had a good reason to not tell you. A really good reason. He would never abandon you. Not him, too. That’s why he took you here! To Garreg Mach! 

If only she could turn her brain off and just believe all of that.

Byleth had just pulled herself out of this stupid, depressive pit, and she couldn’t stop herself from falling again. Don’t be so irrational, you idiot. Father would never abandon you. Never, ever, ever, ever! Just stop worrying about it! Father doesn’t hate you. Father doesn’t hate you. Father doesn’t hate you. Father doesn’t hate you! Stop moping, you idiot. Moping is bad. Don’t let yourself feel sad! Just sit up, rest, and relax. Do as your father said, and get some food in you! Yeah, that made perfect sense! Sit up and breathe and-

Wait wait wait. Meat. And it smells really good. Byleth could feel her stomach just get increasingly get more upset as the delightful scent of a meal flooded her senses. Ah. she wanted it, she needed it. If she couldn’t get some food NOW, she was just going to yank this out of whoever’s hands and oh no it was getting closer and closer and-

“For you, Professor Eisner.”

FOOD

A wonderfully big tray of food was just… suddenly set down in front of her. Byleth grabbed onto the biggest piece of piece of meat on her place and just quickly started chowing down on it, only occasionally stopping to pick a piece of bone out of her teeth. And then she jumped to the next piece, and another one, and another one, and- wait, why was Dorothea laughing? Byleth quickly licked her hands clean, before turning to face the giggliest girl.

“Mmyes?” Byleth muttered out, still excitedly licking at her lips to get whatever she had missed.

“Oh, nothing, you’re just being very adorable.”

As she turned herself around, Byleth noticed that Edelgard was slowly shuffling her chair slightly further away. Hubert had his face dug in his hand. Petra seemed to be playing with her own hair. Caspar was just kind-of staring at her with a wide grin on his face, while Ferdinand, uh… where had he gone?

Did she miss something?

“Professor. Your hair.” Petra was the first to speak up, tugging on a strand that ran besides her face. Byleth moved her own saliva-coated fingers as Petra did… quickly finding a small piece of meat. Oh, she missed a piece! More food for her! As she moved it to her lips, though, Edelgard sharply called out to her.

“Professor. No.”

“No what?”

“Don’t be… please, don’t eat that.”

Well… okay. Byleth obediently dropped that small chunk on the edge of her plate, before Caspar quickly chimed in.

“Hey! Edelgard! If Professor’s eating with her hands, I can, too, right!?”

“You… no.”

“Why not?” Byleth quickly chimed in, and Dorothea started laughing again.

“I… I think little our Edie here hasn’t ever met anyone with table-manners as bad as yours.”

Oh! Oh.

...but it was meat. Byleth really liked meat…

“M’sorry.” While mumbling, Byleth absent-mindedly grabbed onto the next part of her meal, before realizing that she was doing the exact thing she was told not to do and carefully putting it back on her plate. Instead, she reached for her fork and quickly balled her fist around it. Without even a hint of hesitation, she thrusted it back into the chunk of meat before quickly chowing down on it as she had been before. And then the next piece, and then the next piece, and then the next piece… ahhh, food… such delightful food… while she still felt far from satisfied when she finally reached the end of her meal, she did feel a whole lot better than she did before!

Nn, she didn’t know why she was so worried, before… it really must’ve just been her painfully empty stomach. After leaning back, Byleth quickly grabbed at the sleeve of her coat to wipe her face clean, only to be interrupted by Edelgard quickly going ‘No’. Byleth wanted to object, but before she could Dorothea had already thrown a handful of napkins at her. Well, okay, that seemed like a waste of cloth, but sure. Byleth took a second to wipe her face clean, before happily letting herself relax. It was a first, for this long, long, LONG day…

“Jeralt really wasn’t exaggerating…”

Byleth was a bit too woozy to catch who said that. She mumbled out a soft ‘Mm?’ in return, and while she did catch someone saying ‘Oh, nothing’, she really was too satisfied to care. Food good. Mm, why were you so worried, Byleth. Father took on all sorts of unusual missions. It sounded very like him to be forced into some sort of long-term mission where he’d have to ‘take care of a bunch of brats’... right! And there was definitely a very good reason why he didn’t tell her! Byleth figured she should probably ask him about that later Like, tomorrow-later. They already set plans, and honestly, she didn’t quite have the strength left in her to move. So much good food...if she got to eat like this every day, maybe being a teacher wouldn’t be so bad. And all of her students were really cute, too! And maybe they could all be her friends…

Father wouldn’t make you go through anything bad, Byleth. Ever! That’d be so unlike him! 

...at some point, false hope really did feel no different from real hope.

“Professor, have you started preparing for tomorrow’s lessons?”

Oh come on, she was just starting to calm down! Dorothea, please… Byleth didn’t even have the slightest idea of what she was supposed to do, aside from just vaguely ‘teaching them things’. Oh, and her father had told her to make friends with her students. Did that count? If so, that, too.

“If I may, Professor.” What- oh. It was just Edelgard. How did she… It appeared that Edelgard had very quickly stood up and moved herself right behind her professor, notebook in hand. She held it in front of her professor, flipping through some pages as she spoke more. “We’ve been expecting your arrival for several months, so I took the liberty of preparing a schedule for our class. While we expected you to assume your duties next week, we can still maintain this schedule. I made sure to keep everything at a reasonable pace, so you would have enough time to prepare every week.”

As Edelgard flipped through these pages, she pointed out various examples. While she was sure this was all extremely helpful, Byleth wasn’t wearing her glasses. Edelgard’s probably-beautiful handwriting was left as nothing but as blurs and smudges to her eyes. Byleth was nearsighted, but when she was forced to read something quickly like this, this was no less blurry than something being waved at her from across the room.

“Of course, this is all merely a suggestion. When you grow more used to your role, I have no doubt that your own schedule will be much better than mine.”

Um, sure, yeah, thanks. Byleth totally followed all of that. She reached her hands up to take her notebook, before putting it down into her lap and trying to think about things that weren’t going to cause her any more stress. At least Edelgard had everything planned out… Byleth liked schedules.

“When she said ‘several months’, she meant she started over half a year ago. She excitedly got to work when Jeralt even remotely suggested you!”

“Yes, Dorothea. I started six months ago because that’s when our last professor-”

“...told us he was retiring. It’s your responsibility. Yeah, yeah, isn’t she cute when she’s trying to deflect, Professor?”

Well, Edelgard WAS really cute, in general. Byleth nodded, and Edelgard responded with nothing but a sigh.

“That wasn’t how she spoke about this to myself.”

“Quiet, Petra.”

“Yeah! She was really exci-”

“Shut up, Caspar.”

The table went silent, for just a few seconds.

“Lady Edelgard had always been quite enamored by Sir Jeralt’s tales, and even I wouldn’t deny that she held great excitement at just the thought of meeting a legend.”

“...You too, Hubert?”

Okay, this was honestly really cute. Her words slowly went from dignified to… kinda like a normal person. It was so obvious even the oblivious Byleth could notice. Was this how she got whenever she got angry? Or, no, was she happy…? Well, whatever it was, it was cute!

“Are you all done slandering me in front of our new professor?”

“For today, maybe.” Dorothea’s next prod let lead to Edelgard stomping her foot down, which only seemed to encourage her more. “Ooh, Edie’s getting angry. We better run, everyone~” as Dorothea said that, she got up with not even the slightest hint of haste. She even twirled on her heel before darting off. Edelgard mumbled something and paced after her. And, with that, their entire table started to disperse. Byleth got to give everyone a ‘Bye’ and a ‘see you tomorrow’, before she was left without her class.

...while she did make an idiot out of herself again, that wasn’t nearly as bad as she expected. It honestly felt kinda… warm. While teaching had completely drained her of all of her energy, just being in the midst of them like this…

Well, it didn’t really make it worse! While there were ups and downs as she spent time with her students, she didn’t feel the same intense burnout that had earlier trashed her mind. Maybe it was the food… dinner was wonderful. Byleth always did worse on an empty stomach, if only it wasn’t so hard to actually remember to do that whole ‘eating’ thing. Whenever her father wasn’t around, Byleth just felt so little motivation, so little desire to drop whatever she was doing to get her dinner done.

Maybe you should eat before the whole ‘teaching’ thing tomorrow, you idiot.

Speaking of! Teaching! Byleth grabbed onto the notebook Edelgard had prepared for her- err, no, don’t do that. As soon as she realized her hands were still a bit sticky and dirty, she set it back down in her lap and grabbed onto some napkins instead. She didn’t want to dirty something someone made for her…

...right.

Edelgard made this for her. For her. Just for her. Ahh, why did even thinking about that make her feel weird! A tingle in her stomach, some warmth on her cheeks, she could even feel a gentle spark run down her spine. Yet, they weren’t uncomfortable. Even though her entire body shivered just the slightest bit, it didn’t feel bad at all… and that was definitely something that should feel bad! It was the same way winter often made her feel, but… ahh. How long have you been smiling, Byleth? This wasn’t stress, this felt like a genuine smile…

Did that mean she was happy?

Honestly, the forced contraction of some of the muscles of her face was a bit uncomfortable, but for some reason trying to relax her face just made her smile more.

Ah, stop being so fascinated by a book, you idiot. You’re a teacher now! Byleth quickly grabbed onto a final pair of napkins, using those to hold onto the book as she slowly started flipping through it.

...Edelgard’s writing was so small. No way she could read that without her glasses… even as she moved the book distressingly close to her face, all of the ink kinda squished together as a singular blurry mess… maybe if she tried her absolute hardest…

“How has your first day been, my dear sister?” When that awful voice snuck into her ears, Byleth quickly slammed her notebook shut. Um, wait, why was she reflexively cuddling it into her chest…? “Oh? Your first day, and you’ve already received a love letter?” as he spoke, he came closer, setting a large glass of transparent liquid down in front of her, before following up by putting another one right next to her.

For just a second, Byrett turned around.

...and Byleth quickly reached her hands out to switch the two glasses. Don’t drink anything a suspicious person gives you, it might be spiked- or worse.

“Fancy a drink?”

“...not particularly, no.”

“There’s no need for you to be shy.”

Oh, don’t worry, this definitely wasn’t shyness.

“Father mentioned you’re a light drinker, so it’s almost entirely just water. You needn’t worry about getting too intoxicated.”

That’s not the problem here! Well, getting drunk around a bunch of people she didn’t know WAS definitely a problem, it wasn’t even on her mind until now! 

“You seem quite tense and tired…”

Could you please stop talking to me?

“...we’ve finished preparing your temporary room, so you can sleep whenever you want. Here’s your key. It’s downstairs, at the end of the dormitories.”

Couldn’t we have kept it like that? Just the key part? Without anything else? God, he was so annoying. So extremely annoying. Thankfully, he kept his mouth shut after putting it down in front of her. Byleth quickly snatched the key away and buried it in one of her many pockets, before quickly turning herself away. Good, that meant she could sleep. And also lock the door and stay away from him… which leads back into that first thing.

“Have I… nevermind. I truly do want to get to know you better. I’ve heard so many of Dad’s stories, but… I want to get to know you.”

I don’t want to know you better, and don’t call him that. That’s rude! That’s so personal! Go away. If you don’t, I will. Byleth dragged herself to her feet, ready to sprint away if he dare touch her again. If it weren’t for the fact that she hadn’t finished her plate, she would’ve probably already run away.

“...alright. I apologize, but it’s quite childish to give someone the silent treatment, especially your older brother.”

Byleth responded with a simple shake of her head.

“...then let’s just have it your way, Byleth. Don’t you love fighting? Then I challenge you, as one child of the Bladebreaker to another.” Byleth again just shook her head in response. He was so annoyingly talkative. Why couldn’t he just shut up!? “...if, no, when I win-”

“You won’t.”

“...so you accept?”

He’s so arrogant. She couldn’t say no.

“Good, I’ll see you tomorrow, after class.”

Not for too long, I hope.


	6. Chapter 6

Why was Byrett so annoying?

Just listening to him talk was enough to give Byleth a headache. There was something so annoying about the way he spoke, about the way he treated her, about the way he stood, about the expression he made… god, he was so annoying. Annoying, annoying, annoying!

How could one person ever annoy her this much!?

Some people (honestly, a lot of people) caused her discomfort, sure! But everything he did, every single thing about him was just so… argh.

No wonder her father never told her about him. There was no reason to ever tell someone about things that would only end up upsetting them, right? Right!? See! Her father did understand her! Yeah!

...getting away from him had put Byleth in a good mood, and being able to lock herself in her room made her feel even better. Byleth quickly tossed herself into her soft bed- before awkwardly stumbling up. Right, she needed to go get her gla-oh. They were right there, on her nightstand… Father must’ve noticed she left her glasses behind! Byleth quickly put them on and started again flipping through the notebook El had prepared for her. With her sight not impaired, she could actually distinguish the individual characters in Edelgard’s tiny script… ah, it was so pretty…

...but Byleth seriously couldn’t believe how much effort Edelgard had put in this. Not only had she worked out a detailed half-year plan, she even had even worked out a rough timeline for the months after that! She had written personal profiles for all the students in the Black Eagles, their strengths, their weaknesses… uh, did she even have to go through that entire introductory thing she stumbled into today? There were even short summaries on some notable students outside of the Black Eagles, like Dimitri and Claude. Everything potentially confusing or complicated was even marked with an individual number and page, which lead to a long list of keys in the back of the notebook. And.. uh…

Geez, after reading through just the introductory pages was exhausting. It… probably wasn’t the best idea to go through all of this when she was about ready to fall asleep. Okay, lets just look at whatever Edelgard wrote down for her second day… and…

Oh

Noo, don’t fall… you shouldn’t drop… a gift… ahh, why is my hand so heavy… c’mon, pick it up… reach over and just…

“Ah!”

Wait, when did she roll onto her other side… and why was everything so foggy?! Oh- wait, where did her glasses go? Byleth pulled herself up, fighting her body’s natural desires to flop back down, and reached over to the notebook she had just dropped… wait, her glasses? How did they get there? She wasn’t even close to the edge, and- oh. Light was peering in through the door and windows, too. She must’ve passed out. Right, she was REALLY tired, and she felt incredibly refreshed now! Refreshed, but…

Wait, why was her bed so wet? And her hair, and her- wwwhy was her room this warm!? Sure, she maybe probably shouldn’t have slept completely dressed, but the room felt miserably warm in general! Byleth got up as fast as she possibly could, almost falling over in the process, before opening her room to let all the overheating air out. How did her room get so stupidly warm? The moment the very moment she stepped outside, she was welcomed by a breeze of fresh, cold air, smacking her in the face with comfort. Ah, no… Byleth looked down at her clothes- yup, all of it was completely soaked, too. Her clothes were sticking to her skin all gross-like… she felt so, so, SO gross… ick. As soon as her room felt bearable, she quickly went back inside. Um, she had a big closet here, and maybe her father was kind enough to hang her clothes up in it! Yeah, that was probably one of the things her brother meant by getting her room ready! Urgh, he better not have touched her clothes. Byleth didn’t really like it when people she didn’t know touched her things. Or… people she did know that she didn’t like… well, honestly, people not her or her father shouldn’t touch her stuff in general.

But when Byleth opened the door to the closet, she saw a lot of clothes that were decisively not hers. Very decisively not hers. The overwhelming majority kinda looked like the uniforms Edelgard and the other students wore, mostly back with a grey part in the middle. Were it not for the skirt they were attached to, they’d perfectly match Byleth’s preferred aesthetic. Aside from those, there were some fancier looking uniforms and some outfits that seemed somewhat more casual. Probably. That’s… a lot of clothes. There were like, ten separate pairs of the regular uniform! Geez, even if she were to wear a new one every day, she still wouldn’t have to laundry every week… if only they weren’t all exclusively paired with skirts. Why couldn’t at least one of them come with shorts! Or pants! Actually, where were her old clothes, anyway…

Wait, why was she getting so excited?

Byleth quickly dropped to her knees and started opening the various drawers underneath. Bras, tops, socks, underwear… oh, and an entire bigger drawer filled just with shoes. Every pair looked completely different. While they all came in black or white, they were still all so… so different. While most of them seemed to have the smaller heels that Byleth prefered, there even seemed to be some awfully high ones mixed in there, even some without any heels…

But… why?

Her shoes have lasted like, ten years! Why would she wanna switch? 

The rest of those clothes, though? They were very welcome… geez, this closet had more clothes in it than she had ever owned throughout her entire life. It was kinda crazy how stuffed it was, and it was even crazier that there was even more empty space that she could potentially use to-

Ooh! Right. No. You need to shower and change. You can fawn over this later! Byleth quickly grabbed onto one of the uniforms and ran aw-nope, right, she needed… like… more than just that. She scuffled her hands down to the lower draws to grab some socks, underwear… and very reluctantly, a bra. They were always so tight, and while not wearing one was also somewhat uncomfortable… well, at least the friction against her shirt didn’t make her breasts feel like they were about to burst. If it weren’t for the fact that her father always demanded she wear one of those when she went out on anything that involves going out with people… or going into a town or city in general. In fact, her chest was in quite a bit of pain from the pair she was wearing right now… why did they only have to come in one size? They were too tight when she got them, like seven years ago… let alone now! With her clothes grabbed, she re-shackled her sword to her belt and head out! For, uh, just a second. Garreg Mach did have shower and bathing facilities, right? Because Byleth realized she had absolutely no idea where she was going.

Um, um… Byleth helplessly stepped back into her room and taking a quick look through Edelgard’s notes. There was a map of Garreg Mach pinned here som-oh! There. Byleth very carefully took the pins out of the paper, making sure not to damage either the notebook or the map, before carefully unfolding it on her bed. Okay, the dorms were here, and her own room was here… Oh! The bathing facilities were right next to her! That’s convenient! Um, sauna, bathing, showers, all split into communal and gendered sections. Uhh, there had to be some private showers somewhere, right…? Um, um… oh, there! A pair of them were hidden in the far back of the building. Compared to the massive areas dedicated to bathing, they seemed extremely tiny… and why would two private showers share a changing room? That kinda defeats the point of them being, you know, private...

Byleth guessed she just didn’t have a choice. She got up and checked her possessions one last time before heading out into the cooler outside, into the building, and towards the back. Neither the changing room nor the tiny showers themselves had any sort of lock on them. That’s just… annoying. With a grumble, Byleth stripped down and left her dirty clothes in a pile on her feet, while her new outfit, sword and specs were safely put on the nearby countertop, and Byleth quickly tossed herself in to what she assumed would be an unpleasant experience.

...as soon as the hot water touched her skin, she changed her mind. She was used to getting nothing but lukewarm water no matter how far she turned the dial, but instead she was rewarded by a heat intense enough to even leave her skin steaming. Mm, wonderful… she didn’t even have to worry about hygienic supplies, because the shower seemed to be equipped with everything she could want! Soap, shampoo, something called conditioner, and… uh, what the heck was that rough-looking sponge for? Byleth squished at it a few times, before hanging it right back. Yeah, that wasn’t really something she was comfortable rubbing against… herself. Maybe it was to clean the walls…?

After soaping and shampooing herself up and rinsing herself off, she still kinda didn’t want to leave the shower. Were it not for the sudden realization that she was on a time limit, she would’ve probably stood here for a good few more hours. Honestly, she’d stay as long as she could without having the thick steam choke her senseless. Byleth slowly turned the water off, and got out, slowly starting to rub herself down and dry herself off. Geez, that was really… um, what’s the word? Luxurious? That!

“Excuse me? Lysithea?”

A series of knocks and a set of words was enough to startle Byleth. She jumped and almost tripped on the wet floor, but thankfully managed to regain her balance by clinging to the door’s handle. Um, that was Edelgard, right? Her voice was pretty distinct… after stumbling for a moment to regain her balance, Byleth quietly responded.

“It’s, um, just me…”

“Oh! Professor? What are you doing in the… nevermind. Can I come in?”

“N-No! Let me… dress myself really quickly…”

Byleth dropped her towel on the ground and used it to wipe her feet, before quickly putting on her clothes, underwear, bra-

Wait, what the heck? This isn’t uncomfortable at all? Um, wasn’t there only one size…? ‘Cause this is definitely way bigger given that it kinda… y’know, didn’t hurt. And it was actually kinda comfy… Byleth needed a minute to adjust herself, before putting on her top and slowly opening the door.

“I’m… I’m done.” Byleth muttered as she jumped her legs around in an attempt to get her skirt on. Thankfully, she managed to get it on fast enough to avoid any awkwardness. All she had left was to button herself up, and honestly, that wasn’t too embarrassing to do in front of another woman.

“Thank you, Profe...ee..essor…”

Edelgard? Are you okay? She kinda stopped moving, and instead just stared straight forward. Um, what? Did she leave something on the showerside counter? Um, no. By the time Byleth turned back to her, she had even grown an odd smile.

Um, okay, uncomfortable…

“...Y-Yes?”

“Eh? Oh, nothing. I was impressed by how your… uniform fit you.”

Byleth gave a simple nod in response, before reaching to put on her socks and shoes. Edelgard walked past her, but not before throwing some more looks in Byleth’s direction? Was she… was she wearing it wrong? No, Edelgard wouldn’t be that mean, right? She’d be upfront about it and tell her!

“Professor, you should return to our classroom and prepare for today’s lessons.”

“Okay!”

That went well! Right? It was even kinda pleasant! Well, it certainly wasn’t unpleasant! Byleth quickly returned to her room to grab El’s specially-prepared manual, before just-as-hastily returning to the classroom. Um, okay! Now that she wasn’t gross or sleepy, she should probably try reading through whatever her student had planned for today. Byleth flipped through the pages, and quickly realized she had forgotten her glasses. 

Again. 

She even remembered to put them on this morning! Where could they have go-right. She probably left them at the shower. Great, she had done another stupid thing, and absolutely gave Edelgard and the rest of her students a reason to look down at her again. Her father always made fun of her whenever she forgot or couldn’t find her glasses… were her students going to, too?

No! Byleth. Stay positive, you’re here to instruct these students and make friends, you’re not going to find a bunch more Fathers! Just get to the scheduling page, look for the second day and... there! Now, all she had to do is read it. Somehow. Byleth shuffled around in her chair, and moved the agenda about until she finally found the perfect distance and angle where she could actually /read/ it. Edelgard’s script was really pretty, but it was so small and cursive that… it’s almost impossible for her unbespectacled eyes to discern any letter from any other. It was harder to read than her own handwriting, and that’s… quite impressive, honestly.

Okay! So, today… she was to hold a weapon aptitude test? It said something along the lines of preparing the training ground and just to watch and take notes, to assess all the student’s individual skills and to look for the something something how to improve. That sounded somewhat reasonable, honestly. As long as they didn’t expect her notes to be readable for anyone but herself. Byleth flipped a bit further through the book, trying to read up on whatever else El had to suggest for everything, but she was soon interrupted by some extremely loud ringing. Right, clock tower, she was going to need to get used to that…

After just a few moments, all of her students came walking in, quickly returning to their seats. Well, aside from Edelgard. With a quick “You forgot these, Professor.” she gave Byleth her glasses back, no mocking or ‘teasing’ involved. Byleth quickly put them back on, and after just a second of letting her eyes adjust, she stood up.

“So, for today…” ...three words in and you’re already terrified. Good job, Byleth. She completely froze up and felt her throat tighten, she could feel her hands shake a little… Byleth quickly sat herself down and picked up El’s notebook. Hiding her face behind it. That made her feel a bit better, actually. Maybe she’d do better if she basically just repeated what El had written down. Hm, let’s see...

“For our second day! We should hold a weapon’s aptitude test to check on everyone’s individual progress, strength, skills and weaknesses. We’ll start by… umm, no. Not like that. Maybe just, hmm… oh! No, that won’t work either…” Edelgard your notes have been so helpful already but, um… none of this would be particularly helpful for anyone that had studied under her father for any amount of time. This was all sorts of theoretical stuff that her father had never been able to take seriously. Like, seriously, stance refinement…?

No, no, don’t be like that, Edelgard probably knows what she’s doing.

“Actuallyyy… um, let’s just head for the training grounds..”

And honestly, it wasn’t like she had any other ideas! She lowered the book just slightly, enough to barely catch a glimpse of her students. Just to make sure they were all getting up and getting ready for this. They all were, aside from the… consistently very sleepy Linhardt, who required some extra motivation from Dorothea to actually get onto his feet. Bernadetta needed an extra minute, too, but when Byleth herself got up to walk with them, Bernadetta suddenly hurried herself up to catch up with the rest of her class. 

After a few moments of talking, they entered the training ground. And the students lined up and… kinda just stood there. Looking at her. Byleth once-again dove her head back into the book, but there seemed to be no further notes on what all of this entailed. Um, um… you can do this, Byleth! Just tell the students to get ready and… um…

“So first, um… Err, you… and…” Byleth tried lowering her cover because she wasn’t narrating from it anyway, but as soon as she caught her students looking at her, she hid behind it again. Words, Byleth! Use your words. Just, um… ahh… why was this even harder than yesterday!? Why was her throat starting to get so dry, why was she starting to feel so panicked and scared, why did she feel like running away!? It went fairly well yesterday… right? And it went well yesterday night, too! Nothing is wrong, all you have to do is breathe, breathe, and… ahh, what was she supposed to do!?

“Black Eagles! Stand at the ready.” Byleth almost jumped as she realized Edelgard had once again snuck closer to her. She had crossed her arms and focused her attention on the students, only turning towards Byleth when the thickest air had resolved. She gave the notebook a quick point and held her hand open, prompting Byleth to quickly give it back. Did she mess up this bad? Edelgard had prepared this for her and now she was taking it away because she messed up, and, and, and…

“Professor, here.”

Eh? Edelgard held it open with one hand on a totally different page, dragging her fingers across some lines for Byleth to read. Byleth understood what she seemed to be going for, and loudly read off the instructions El had prepared. Trying to not retain any word she was saying in hopes that that would make this slightly less difficult. When they finished, Edelgard closed the notebook and went back to her position, and the training started.

Thank you again, Edelgard…!

Exercise after exercise after exercise followed, with Byleth being able to maintain the pace herself by flipping through the pages. After the first few exercises, she grabbed a pen and sat herself down to take notes as the actual training started. She made a column for every student, and…

It quickly became clear that Byleth wasn’t the only one that had no idea what she was doing. How… how long had they been here, again? Was her father really a teacher? Because, well… um… honestly. Had they ever even used those weapons before? Even the magic users seemed so all around sloppy, and honestly Bernadetta was the only one that didn’t consistently seem to behave far below par. Her father would’ve definitely drilled those imperfect habits out of them within several days, let alone months or years!

“Your notes, Professor?”

Ahahaha ahahaha oh god… she felt guilty as she handed the notebook over, and even more so when she saw an expression fall onto Edelgard’s face that couldn’t be anything but negative. Like, she kind of flinched a little, as if the muscles in her face tensed up. Byleth quickly looked down to avoid having to see any other of such expressions. Even when Edelgard came back to return the notebook, Byleth couldn’t really get herself to grips enough to look in her direction as she spoke up.

“Thank you for your honest advice, Professor.”

Was she mad? She seemed mad. That’s something a mad person would say, right? After taking her notebook back, Byleth looked up at her students, far too flustered to make eye-contact, but at least they seemed to be walking around normally… well, one of them was even bouncing a little. Byleth pulled her eyes up just enough to notice that it was Bernadetta, the only one among them who had received comments that weren’t exclusively negative.

“I’m sorry.” Byleth whimpered out, Forget making yourself look bad, you’re making yourself look really mean! Unkind, unfair, awful, ahh…

Even when the bell rang, she couldn’t quite muster the strength to pull herself together. She just stood still, hoping that everything would be fine. This was what she was here for, right? She did exactly what she was supposed to do, so everything should be fine, right? Or was she overly harsh like her father was to her, when she was younger... Ahh…

Why do new things have to be so scary!?

The arena slowly started growing louder and louder, and the momentarily-empty arena seemed to fill up again. When she looked up, she saw her brother and some of the other teachers discuss something. Oh, and her father and Rhea were also there. Byleth looked around herself a little, and quickly noticed that all of her class and, um, a ton of other people, wearing similar-but-slightly different uniforms. Some blue, some yellow. Wait, weren’t those the other two classes? Looking at her brother reminded her of the fact that they had a duel coming up, but why were the rest of the people here? And, ahh, the benches upstairs were starting to fill up, too. Were they all here to watch them fight?

That’s way too many people. This isn’t fair… Byleth’s instincts dragged her back to her feet, but before she could gather enough strength to run away, her pain-in-the-ass brother approached her.

“Are you ready for our duel, my dear sister? I took the liberty of publicizing our event, I hope you don’t mind.”

I do mind, you jerk! There were so many people! And there were looking at her! At her! Like, directly at her! As a person! Not fair, no fair… ahh, Byleth felt like she was going to be sick. She almost sat down again, but was interrupted by him handing her… a sword shaved of all its edges. Huh? What’s the point of something like this? Byleth quietly stared at it, and it wasn’t until her brother started explaining to grab it.

“What’s the matter? It’s just a practice sword. So we don’t end up accidentally killing each other.”

Oh, so she could hit him with this as hard as she wanted? That’s good.

“Are you ready, my sister?”

Byleth nodded, and dragged herself to one side of the arena. Trying to distract herself from the crowd around her. Byrett didn’t take too long to summon one of his students- Dimiri, if she remembered correctly- to hand him a similarly made spear. Huh. Weird. Couldn’t they just wrap up a regular sword instead…? This thing felt awfully light, and the balance was really funky compared to an actual sword…

Oh well. It shouldn’t matter

“Ready? Don’t go in too hard, kid.”

Oh, I will, Father. If he’s my brother, how could I ever afford to hold back?

“Go!”

...her brother was so slow. By the time he had shifted his spear to be at the ready, Byleth was already in his face. He frantically tried to put his weapon between himself and his sister, but that wasn’t going to be enough, either. Byleth had just had to strike, once.

And as the two chunks of metal touched.

...they both shattered, and faded away into ashes.

A loud ring scattered through the arena, and the only evidence of their clash was how Byrett had been sent flying and helplessly crashing into a wall. He seemed to be out, but after a few grunts of pain, he slowly started to drag himself back onto his feet. He even grasped around him for… well, something, before uselessly calling out to one of his students.

“Dimitri! My spear!”

How could someone this weak ever be her father’s favourite? Was he holding back? He had to be, right? And Dimitri was bringing him some sort of spear… hmm, Maybe he had some sort of special weapon? Sure, he could have it. What would the point be, were he not at his most prepared? As soon as he got his hands on it, though, Byleth approached again. This time drawing her own weapon.

Slowly reeling her it up. And just as slowly striking down.

Her brother let out some sort of pathetic noise as he fell over and crawled against the wall. What’s the matter? Aren’t you her brother? Her father’s son? Why are you this weak? Byleth stopped her sword just short of his shoulder, the golden blade digging into the wall, the serrated edge barely pushing down into his skin.

“...no wonder you’re his favourite.”

No, Byrett. You are the one that kept stealing him away. 

“He never shuts up about you! It’s always just you this, you that, and… and...”

Byleth stayed silent, as she stared her brother down. Only when he dropped his spear did she pull her own sword back. Stop lying to me. If I was his favourite, he wouldn’t have kept leaving me. He wouldn’t have left me alone for all those days, weeks, months… years! If he loved me, he would’ve never… never…

“No. I’m sorry. I surrender. You’re much stronger than I. I see now that father never exaggerated when he spoke of you, whenever he spoke of you as the Ashen Demon…”

Don’t… don’t call me that. Don’t call me that! There’s no way her father ever called her that. Never. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever! You gross liar, you awful liar, you… you… Byleth sheathed her sword. Stared at her brother for one more second… and quickly ran away. Locking herself into her room again. Please. Just leave me alone. And don't call me that. Ever again.


	7. Chapter 7

It was inevitable. Byleth had been a mercenary for over ten years. She and her father had garnered a reputation, and with that, also came infamy. They had undertaken countless missions, both together and separate. While the most common jobs revolved around protecting various ‘important’ people and driving away legions of bandits, the young Byleth had gone through countless experiences. In her younger years, she was even hired to take advantage of her unimposing form to infiltrate her employer’s enemies and even to assassinate specific targets. As she grew older, these experiences grew wider. After years of tricking people with innocence, she became more mature and some assignments took a drastically less pleasant and more personal tone. Of course,  _ those  _ sorts of missions were always given to her when her father wasn’t around and she had to fend for herself. So it wasn’t like she could reject it. 

Byleth was an assassin, a mercenary, a soldier. These all earned her infamy, and caused her to be known by so many names. Some less flattering than others. They were all so insulting, but they never really… got to her, like this one did. It was the only one that got under her skin, and the only one that stuck to her.

The Ashen Demon.

From the very first time she heard it, it just always made her feel uncomfortable. As if something roared and struggled in her unbeating heart. As if something was trying to rip free.

But it got even worse when she heard why she was given that name.

It was because she was an ‘emotionless demon’. Because the only thing left after one of her ‘maddened rampages’ was lifeless husks. Because the only expression she ever showed was a haunting smile. Because even after ten years, her ‘ghastly ashen skin’ hadn’t been blemished with even a single scar. And, of course, because her ‘inhumane strength’ was enough to grind even the strongest blades to dust.

It really hurt. Even her employers had started calling her that. They didn’t see her as human. They didn’t see her as something that could have emotions. She was just some sort of unstoppable monster. Without feelings.

...just because she had trouble showing them, didn’t mean she didn’t have feelings…

I’m not a monster, I’m human. I’m not a demon, I’m a girl. I’m not mad, I’m just like my father…

Why did it hurt her so much? Why did it cut so much deeper than most-anything people had said to her? The people she worked with weren’t particularly pleasant. Her father always told her that that was just how men tend to treat women, and that there wasn’t very much she could do about it. That as long as their harassment stayed exclusively verbal, they are to be ignored. So! She did. It kinda helped her tune out men in general.

But then they found the chink in her emotional armour, and…

No. Nevermind. Don’t think about it. Don’t worry about it. Byrett’s probably just like all of those mercenaries. You shouldn’t have given into the anxiety that he triggered, Byleth! Now he’s definitely going to take advantage of this more and more… urgh. Byleth, you stupid idiot…

...and he just had to say it in front of so many people… what if her students started calling her that? -Her- students! Wait, no, why would that be different from anyone else doing it…? Actually! It made sense! She had to be in class with them every day, so…

After a few knocks, her Father’s voice pushed in “Hey, kid?”

Not now, Father… Byleth had slumped over against the door as she did her absolute best to calm herself. It was always hard to talk when she felt like this, and with the door locked, there was no way he could enter anyway… plus, it opens inwards. Even if he could open it up, he would be stopped by her!

...Byleth could hear the lock click, and she braced herself to keep her father out. Except, well, it didn’t exactly work and she could feel herself slide away as the door opened further and further, forcing her to slide down the wooden flooring… until it stopped when her father had enough room to invite himself in and then quickly closed it right behind himself. He jingled a set of keys in front of her, before quickly putting them back in his pocket.

“Not now, Father…”

He gave no response. Instead, he simply sat down next to her, and reached out to her. Slowly. He held his palm above her head for just a second, before letting it land down and starting to stroke his fingers through her hair.

“I’m not a child anymore…”

It probably would’ve sounded more convincing if she hadn’t started nuzzling her head at his hand. 

“I told him off, he won’t be doing that again.”

“Why?” 

“Uhh, he’s really comp-”

“No, Father, why did you tell him?”

He looked away, away, pulling his hand back and instead crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Dunno, guess I ran out of stories. The brats here have been buggin’ me for… huh. Guess this is the third year this batch of brats has been around.”

Wait, three years, and they were still this… inexperienced? 

“Anyway, ya dropped this.” her father reached into his coat pocket, and pulled out El’s gift. Ah, oops, no… t-that’s bad. She left it there, she could’ve lost it! Byleth quickly reached for it and snatched it out of her father’s hands and held it safe against her. “Figured you’d want it back. I know how you get with gifts.”

Well, yeah… if someone got something for her, she should treasure it! Gifts are something really special… wait, no, you’re getting distracted! There’s something really important you still haven’t asked, Byleth.

“...why didn’t you tell me?”

Silence. Her father first looked at her, before slowly dragging his eyes through Byleth’s room. Slowly. Painfully slowly. Only when his eyes reached her closet, did her turn back towards her.

“Figured ya’d be embarrassed that your old man’s going off to teach kids about history. If I told you, you’d probably worry I was going senile.”

That’s… thats not answering her question, Father. Byleth shook her head, and just kept staring at him.

“Alright, alright. I promised your mother somethin’ and I’ve been doing a terrible job upholding it.” He stood up and walked to Byleth’s desk. After fiddling with his hands with a few seconds, opened one of Byleth’s drawers, before quickly closing it and walking back to her. He made a little pushing gesture at Byleth. After a few moments she realized he was signalling her to move aside, and so she promptly did. Right before he left, though, he gave her one final look. “I’ve only ever trained two people, kid. Your brother’s not one of them. You’re my only daughter, kid, and you’ve got nobody to be jealous of.”

“I’m not-”

“Don’t lie to yourself, kid. And give your brother a chance. He’s clueless, but he’s trying.”

Nope! Byrett was the one that has been mistreating Byleth! He refused to acknowledge her personal space and he was so… so rude to her! In general! Like most other men, honestly. Maybe this situation would be a lot less bad if she had a sister instead of a brother… Byleth shook her head in objection, leaving her father sighing in response.

“Look, kid, I’m not telling you to like him. I’m telling you not to kill him. And not to let him die.”

And with that, the door shut behind him. What was that even supposed to mean? She wasn’t really fighting him! They were just sparring, and Byleth just took the chance to release some pent-up frustration! And kill him? Well, if he died from that… maybe you should’ve trained him! 

...wait, why hadn’t he? Wait wait wait, did he say he was teaching ‘history’ at the academy!? Um, was that what he had promised her mother? To teach… history, here? Or something? No- wait, did he just leave without answering her one question?

No matter how much Byleth tried to deny it, one thing had become far too obvious.

She didn’t know her father. She had never known her father. This was who her father was. Not the legendary Blade Breaker or Captain of the Jeralt Mercenaries. He was this person. He was this…

“Liar...”

No, wait, urgh… saying something like that about her father felt really bad. He definitely lied to her, and he definitely kept secrets from her, but it had to be for a good reason! It had to!

“Oh, and kid?”

Ah! Byleth almost reflexively apologized. He hadn’t heard her call him a liar, right!? ‘Cause she regretted that anyway!

“Your brats are excited. They want to hear from their champion. Don’t keep them waiting, they get really impatient.” After a short pause, he added one more thing. “And kid? If you ever need to talk, and you can’t find me? I’ll probably up in my room. Top floor of the church, you can’t miss it.”

“Okay, Father.”

“Just call me Dad, kid.”

Well, no. That’d just be really weird.

***

Byleth’s students really were excited. After a few seconds of everyone making sure to ask if she was okay, if she was hurt and even asking if something bad happened. Byleth honestly answered about what happened and what hurt her, while avoiding actually using the nickname. Her students definitely understood it, and even reiterated that her father had made sure they knew not to call Byleth by any of her previous epithets. Which pretty much confirmed that her brother really was just being a jerk to her for no good reason.

Most of the conversation was carried by her students, but Byleth did manage to get one important question in. If her father really hadn’t trained any of them. None of the students had apparently received any of his tutelage, and the only person at Garreg Mach that had was the teaching assistant for the Golden Deer. Apparently, Byrett had been pretty vocal about how unhappy he was that his own father wouldn’t train him. Serves him right. Nobody quite knew why, though. ‘Jeralt’s’ skills were widely known, and nobody quite understood why he so intently avoided tutoring anyone. With that, though, Byleth’s initiative completely disappeared and their conversation soon turned into yesterday’s dinner. Complete with the ‘dinner’ part, because she was dragged off to that right after.

Thankfully, that was the last of Byleth’s hectic days, for at least a month. The next several weeks were spent sticking entirely to Edelgard’s schedule, and while Edelgard did still consistently provide assistance, it felt like it was going better and better! By the end of the first week, Byleth had even started drafting up her own notes! That… Edelgard more-often-that-not had to read out to class, but still! That meant that she was doing her part, right? Byleth’s routine soon turned into a daily cycle of teaching, eating, studying and then sleeping. Hours upon hours of studying. Whatever time Byleth usually spent reading and training had completely swallowed up by her need to prepare for the next few days! Even her days off were no different!

Whenever she tried training or anything else that didn’t have the convenient burden of another person physically being with her, her mind kept slipping back to Jeralt, and how different he had been since they arrived in Garreg Mach. She wanted to avoid that intense headache. Plus, if she was teaching her students, she had an excuse to stay away from her family! And thus so, even her Sundays devolved into Byleth’s absolute best attempts to teach her students… attempts, because her students often took her invitation to just talk to her instead! Which… also worked, thankfully! 

And even more thankfully, it was a lot less draining than talking to her entire class, at once. It honestly even felt somewhat pleasant. Even if extended conversations still took a toll on her mind, just talking to her students made her core feel warm. Even when she was exhausted, the very fact that her students were showing interest in her felt unbelievably pleasant. Guess she might really be making friends! Not… because Jeralt told her to, mind, just because they all seemed more-than-willing to put up with her difficulties and didn’t shun her for her awkwardness…they even openly talked to her about their lives, their feelings… if her father couldn’t do that, it meant a lot that her students could, right!?

Right.

...and then she made the mistake of asking her students about her family.

Byrett had been living here for his entire life. He had been a teacher for several years. While he was usually understanding, he could get really impatient and highly competitive. Over the last few years, he apparently graviated more and more towards the Blue Lions. While he started as a general combat instructor, he officially became their professor at the start of this year. Apparently, he and Dimitri became quick and close friends. While his own class seemed to adore him, the rest of Garreg Mach held more modest opinions about him. Mostly positive, but… not quite at the level of adoration.

Rhea was the Archbishop of the Church, whatever that meant. It sounded like a big deal. While most of her students held a positive opinion on her, Edelgard said she had trouble trusting her. She was supposedly very kind, and was willing to lend an ear to anyone that needed it. She had basically been Byrett’s mother for all of his life, even if she wasn’t his birth mother.

But Jeralt, well… while he talked a lot about his daughter, he didn’t say much about their life together. He rarely even included himself in his tales of Byleth’s feats. It almost sounded as if he was recounting legends, and while nobody doubted Byleth really existed, some of his stories could be quite outlandish. They were almost all true, but…

That wasn’t the important part.

Byleth had spoken to almost all of her students. Well, almost all of the students she had the guts to ask, or were willing to talk… to be exact, Byleth asked everyone about him, bar the evasive Linhardt, the somewhat intimidating Ferdinand, and Hubert. They all agreed on one thing.

Jeralt didn’t seem like a fighter, and everyone kind of assumed he must be handling all sorts of bureaucratic stuff instead. Even if they knew him as the incredibly strong Blade Breaker, it seemed like he hated fighting. While he diligently continued training his personal student, Leonie, he said she was the last person he would ever train.

Everyone kinda figured… he must hate fighting.

This wasn’t her father.

Apparently he even often spoke about the value of individual life. About how death was something to be avoided at all costs. He told the students the only thing more important than avoiding killing was protecting their own lives.

...that really couldn’t be her father. Byleth wanted to insist they had to be mistaken, but…

It wasn’t like Byleth knew, at all, who Jeralt really was. How he was like. All she knew is that he had really just- always and ever- been a liar.


	8. Chapter 8

I love Edelgard von Hresvelg.

All she ever wanted to do was make the world a better place. She sacrificed her own happiness, and was completely willing to sacrifice her own life. She was even willing to sacrifice me. If she needed to, I was willing to let her. But she accepted me. So I remained by her side, forever. 

They started calling me her wings. So I helped her soar higher and higher, until we finally brought this horrifying war to an eternal end. I proposed to her before our final battle, and we got married the day the war came to an end. I was going to share my entire life with her. With her. Because I love her.

She became the first Emperor of a united Fódlan, and I became her Empress. But we didn’t want to live our life like that. Not forever. As soon as our country became stable, we were going to abdicate and live out the recent of our years, peacefully and together. We made plans, you know? We were going to start a family together. If we had a son, we would name him Jeralt. If we had a daughter, we would name her Patricia. Dorothea was going to be their godmother. Hubert would be their godfather. It probably seemed a little weird, after how much we fought to eradicate the corruption that was rooted within the Church. But I wanted to honour someone.

She had been with me from the very day I was born. She sacrificed herself for me. Not once. Twice. I always thought my only family was my father, but I forever had such a wonderful older sister living within me. I missed her, and I just wanted to do a little something, in her name.

We had so many plans.

We just needed to do one little thing, first. We just needed to purge the darkness that slithered within Fódlan’s shadows. They were the last obstacle between us, and the perfect world of our dreams.

I messed up.

I really, really messed up…

I had been with Sothis’ power for so long, that I…

I must’ve gotten really arrogant.

It was just. Just. All we had to do was eliminate their leader. I just needed to kill Thales, and everything would be over. It was supposed to be simple. We all thought it was going to be. But. I never came back. I never saw my wife again.

He struck me once, and I found myself in infinite darkness. Alone. With nothing but a single throne. I couldn’t escape. It was over.

...I don’t know where I found the power. I don’t know where I found to strength. But eventually, I found the tiniest bit of Sothis’ blessing that remained within me. And I decided to try again.

I fell for Edelgard von Hresvelg, all over again. I couldn’t remember anything from our past life together, but I still fell in love with her, in exactly the same way.

But I couldn’t agree with her methods. Well… that wasn’t exactly true. I just, I just couldn’t bare the thought of her being at the center of such a terrible war.

So I tried to stop her. I fought her, and beat her. She stood at her knees. In front of me. Just like I had before. It would only take a single swing of my blade to end her life. But I couldn’t. I loved her. I genuinely loved her. All I could do was stand there, frozen. Hoping she would just give herself up. Rhea would understand. If I asked her, Rhea would forgive her. She had such a hard life, she doesn’t deserve anything more…

I waited too long. She regained enough of her strength to lift her axe, and she took me down with one strike.

She killed me. I had failed again. So I had to try again.

So I just. I just. I fell for Edelgard von Hresvelg, all over again, even though I felt a little intimidated by her. I wasn’t even teaching her class. I had moved over to the Golden Deer, and while I became close to my entire class, I still again connected to Edelgard. A war started, and we were on opposite sides. It really hurt, I didn’t understand why, but it hurt so much. We came to a direct fight. And I just dropped my sword. And begged her to stop. I felt an overwhelming emotion I just couldn’t control.

It wasn’t even her that killed me.

I don’t even remember what I told Claude. But it was stupid enough to make him shoot me. And kill me. So I had to try again.

I fell for Edelgard von Hresvelg, all over again. I joined the Black Eagles. Everything felt right. But one day, after I lost my father, after I lost Sothis… I gave up. Took her hand. And ran away. I took Edelgard and ran away. I couldn’t stop having nightmares of everything that was going to go wrong, so I ran away. I grabbed Edelgard and just ran away. I told her we couldn’t keep going. That we had to leave.

She told me that she was the Flame Emperor.

I told her I didn’t care.

She told me she killed my father.

I told her I didn’t care.

She told me she was going to start a war that could tear the world asunder.

I told her I didn’t care. That I only wanted her. That I would lift her and carry her away, if I had to…

So she killed me.

So I tried again.

I fell for Edelgard von Hresvelg, all over again. I joined the Blue Lions, and…

It doesn’t matter.

This is my last chance.

I am Byleth Eisner.

My name is Sothis.

***

“Professor!”

“Eh?”

Byleth was quickly slapped out of her dreamy trance. Um, what was she doing? What was she even thinking about? Wait. Right, Edelgard was talking to her. Her mind must’ve wandered off… where were they? Um, right, they were going through… some sort of numbers. Or something. What just happened? She was definitely just listening to Edelgard and Dorothea talk… um, why was Dorothea resting a stack of paper on Byleth’s head? No, wait, that must be what she had just gotten smacked with.

“As I was saying, Professor-”

“Shh, Edie. Let us hold a moment of peace for our dear Professor, she’s soon to realize that Ingrid is not only straight, but also a student. Oh woe befalls our teacher, her first crush be for a girl she could never have…”

Byleth and Edelgard both fell silent as they awkwardly held a combined gaze towards Dorothea. It took a few moments for Byleth to gather herself enough to stutter out a “Huh?”, soon followed by Edelgard whimpering out what sounded like an equally confused noise.

“Oh- the blonde girl you were staring at, Ingrid? She’s a real ladykiller. She’s broken the hearts of so many young ladies, even including mine. She even managed to weave a crack into Edie’s fortuitous heart…”

“I was… staring at someone?”

Byleth shook her head and looked through the hallway, quickly noticing a girl that seemed to fit Dorothea’s description. Blonde hair, green eyes, a vibrant smile, really pretty… oh, she really was really pretty. What was that little loop she had going down her hair? Um, it seemed a little like a ponytail? But her hair was all floofy and big, and it even wrapped around itself until it finally reached a hair tie at the very bottom.

She’s really pretty…

“Dorothea, don’t play with that! It’s important, and-”

“I’m juuust making sure to make a note so you don’t forget to dye your hair blonde! Our professor seems to be quite honest about her preferences, and if you’re serious about wanting to catch her gaze…”

Her student’s rowdy behaviour soon cut off her admiring gaze, though, and she instead just looked back at the two. Dorothea was taking advantage of the difference in their height by holding a piece of paper as far above her head as she possibly could, far beyond Edelgard’s reach. After a few quick hops and flails of her hands, she gave up and crossed her arms in front of herself. Seemingly satisfied, Dorothea just looked up at the document itself.

“Oh! So that’s why! I can’t believe you wrote Byleth a love-letter, Edie! How disgraceful, attempting to seduce your Professor…”

Wait a what. A love letter what. Edelgard made something like that for her? Isn’t that like, the kind of thing you write to confess your feelings? Your romantic feelings? It was apparently a common practice between students, at least according to the books she had read. Um, they were supposedly a thing people wrote when they were deeply in love and had difficulties conveying their feelings. And if Edelgard wrote that, that meant she had really strong feeilngs for her, right!? Right!? Byleth could vaguely hear the two students continuing arguing as she slid deeper into her thoughts.

She had never been in a situation like this before… but, um… no, seriously, someone had those kind of feelings for her!? Byleth leapt up and quickly tore the letter out of Dorothea’s hand, drawing her eyes through this and-

...oh.

This wasn’t anything like that at all. It was just a form… about an upcoming skirmish between the three classes. Byleth flipped the document around, and nope, that side was entirely blank. There was nothing about any sort of love, at all. This didn’t even look like Edelgard’s handwriting… it was larger, and somehow seemed a lot more formal.

Byleth sat down as she took her gaze through it one more time. Nope, it still looked exactly the same. She blankly put the piece of paper back down in front of her. That was mean. That was really, really mean. Why would you ever do something like that! Byleth wasn’t quite sure why that stung so much, but it definitely felt like she was getting robbed of SOMETHING… building up someone’s hopes and then dashing them is really mean. It was mean enough to leave her feeling a headache and a slight hint of nausea!

Not that she, like… actually had any hopes for that! It’d be really awkward if it was actually a love letter! But she set a certain expectation, so, geez…. Dorothea and Edelgard were still bickering, too. It was getting a little loud and frustrating. Please just shut up.

Byleth slammed her left fist down onto her table to shut the two up.

“Can you two just shut up or leave, and let me finish my work!?”

Byleth glared from student to student. It felt exactly like the mean-spirited teasing Jeralt often used to do. They both instantly went silent, and Byleth immediately realized what she had just done.

“I’m… I’m sorry…”

That was bad. That was really, really bad. Byleth stared down at the document she had just slammed down on her table. Byleth tried to say more, but after stammering out her apology she honestly felt as if she felt like she had run completely out of words. And both of them stayed quiet, they didn’t even walk away. Ah, it felt so terrible. Please say something, either of you two!

They didn’t speak. Instead, an adorable giggle broke the silence. Being laughed at made Byleth feel even worse, but when she looked up and saw it was not only Edelgard that was doing the giggling, but while bearing a wonderful sort of smile. Byleth wasn’t quite sure how it differed from her usual smiles, but it definitely was. Maybe her lips were curved a little bit more! Or something. Either way, though, while it didn’t completely eliminate her sudden spike of anxiety, it definitely soothed her. Seeing her smile like that just felt safe. Warm. Familiar. It kinda felt like she finally got her coffee after several hours of meandering tiredly. Wait, no, it was more like finally getting a cold cup of water after a really long, hot day of work...

No, wait, it definitely felt like she had been waiting a lot longer than that… That definitely didn’t feel right. The longer she looked at that smile, the longer she felt like she had been forced to wait. That earnest smile, just...

...oh, and she’s really pretty, too.

“Professor? You’re staring again.” Dorothea snapped Byleth out of her trance, and everything went back to normal. Just what is this feeling? It definitely wasn’t bad, and now that her concentration elapsed, the warm sensation quickly faded away. Ah, no, come back! It felt really safe. El! Smile like that, more, please!

“Oh! Um, ehehe…”

Ah! What was this feeling! It was weird! Really weird! It was the kind of thing that made her want to get up and storm off! But not for any bad reasons. She kinda wanted to do the thing where she storms away, out of awkwardness, but without actually like… leaving the room and getting away from these two. Ah, what was this weird feeling in her throat…

“...Professor?”

“Huh? Oh! Sorry!”

Ahh, was she accidentally ignoring Edelgard? Ah that’s bad! Byleth tried to stand up, and when she practically launched herself out of her chair she smashed her leg right onto the table she had been ‘working’ on. While it didn’t really hurt, it stung enough and made enough noise to startle her right back into her chair.

“I think someone’s still a little sleepy. Did you stay up all night again. Professor?”

Huh? Dorothea wasn’t exactly wrong, but what does that have to do with anything? That just kinda happens sometimes!

“Professor, is this true?”

Byleth nodded. She didn’t see any reason to lie to Edelgard about this? For some reason, Edelgard’s expression shifted for something that was definitely a lot more negative, and it was almost instant, too. Um, what did she do? Is it something with her face? Was she making a terrible expression? Ahh, she sometimes scared off people like that, she didn’t want to scare Edelgard…

“Professor, get some sleep.”

“Huh? I’m not tired…”

“Edie here’s our local insomniac princess. I wouldn’t argue with her.”

“I’m not trying to argue, it’s just…”

Edelgard promptly took away the documents from in front of Byleth, and then she shook her head all… was that disappointment? Ah! No, that’s bad…

“Dorothea? I’ll take care of filing the professor’s paperwork. Could you escort her to her room?”

Edelgard started walking away, and Byleth could just feel herself freeze up. Ah, no! She was doing such a bad job that Edelgard was going to do her work! She couldn’t just go to bed. Geez, she never let anyone else finish her other jobs, either! Like, other people tended to mess up absolutely everything she was supposed to do, anyway. No, wait! Not that she think Edelgard would do a bad job with anything! She’d probably do a better job at everything than her, because she was a lot better at these kinda things, and definitely a lot smarter at administrative things and and and and and- ah don’t touch me!

“Professor, no.”

No, what? Oh, yeah, she had gotten up to chase Edelgard so she wouldn’t have to take care of Byleth’s work. That’s not something you should say no to! And especially not touch her for! And especially not hold her shoulder and try to hold her back! Byleth gently yanked her shoulder away and did her best to trail after El, before promptly being stopped again. This time, Dorothea had wrapped her scrawny fingers around her sleeve. The only reason that Byleth didn’t yank away instantly again was because she realized that’d probably either break her sleeves or her student’s fingers, which wouldn’t be great. Like, um, there were a number of policies on what she shouldn’t do with her students and ‘hurting them’ was definitely at the top of that list. But her duties are her own and wait no, why are you pulling on my sleeve!?

“Wait, wait, wait- I need to, I should…” but before she could get free or even finish her sentence, Dorothea had pushed uncomfortably close to her. Ah, Dorothea you’re attractive and you smell nice but this is way too close to close to me and I can feel your breath and oh god please stop…

“We need to talk. About Edelgard.”

Huh? Well, if it was about Edelgard, it was probably really important… Byleth stopped her resistance and quickly started following Dorothea back to her room. Yeah! This had to be important. When they were in, Dorothea gestured Byleth at her bed and quickly turned around to close the door. She locked it too, which was a little uncomfortable because it cut off her only avenue of escape, but…

“Professor, you’ve been laying it on a little too heavily…’

“Huh?”

“You know, with Edelgard.”

“I-I’m sorry…” Ah, she must’ve been really annoying before. God, what is wrong with her? Byleth had no idea what ‘laying it on’ meant, but it sounded really negative. So it was probably really annoying. The guilt made her shrink into herself a little, staring down at the ground in front of Dorothea.

“Oh dear god.” Eh? Dorothea? Byleth timidly dragged her eyes up, only to see Dorothea hiding her face in her palm, while shaking her head. Byleth wanted to mutter out an apology, but she couldn’t think of anything before Dorothea cut her off with an utterance of “This is so much worse than I thought.” and she instantly made Byleth’s worries even worse.

“I’m sorry…”

“No, no, no. You’re fine. So! Completely unrelated, have you ever fallen in love with someone?”

Uh, no? Byleth took a moment before shaking her head. “I don’t think so? My father said I’d know if I ever did, He said he never stopped loving my mother, and that he never would.”

“Not… the best example. But let’s take this one step at a time.”

“Wait, what do you mean that it isn’t the best example? My mother died twenty-one years ago and he’s still loyal to her…” If there was one thing she knew about love, it was that true love was about loyalty and never letting your feelings for someone go… at least, that’s what Jeralt said…

Dorothea groaned and put her head in her hand again, mumbling out another “Oh dear god.” This time, she held that position a little longer. It kinda looked like she was in pain and hiding her eyes… Byleth could get really photosensitive when stressed. Was that was happening to Dorothea here? It WAS pretty bright… Byleth turned around and started adjusting the blinds a little, hoping that would ease her student’s pain. A few moments after, Dorothea pulled her head out of her hands and started speaking again.

“I…It isn’t quite my place to say this, but...” Dorothea paused, making the scene just a little more awkward. Just what Byleth needed. More awkwardness. “Before anything else, you should make up with your father. He’s probably a lot more capable of talking to you than any of us.”

Byleth shook her head. He’s a liar. Just an awful liar. “I hate him.” The only thing she’d accomplish was getting herself even more upset. Argh, she felt so angry, so… Ahh, she wanted to punch her dad so badly. And maybe vomit, a little. Honestly, with her training she could probably climb upstairs and kick her dad in the gut straight at midni-

“Maaaybe we should continue this conversation in a few days.”

“Why?”

“It might be better to discuss this when your body returns to normal.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my body!”

“When you’re off your period.”

“What does that have to do with anything!?”

Dorothea sighed and shook her head.

“I’m normal…” Byleth whimpered out

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Professor. Some girls just get like this while your body’s cycling.”

“Like what!?” Byleth stood up and actually yelled out. Which was enough to make her finally understand that her behaviour had probably been a little off. Had she been yelling at Dorothea this entire time? And oh god, everything with Edelgard… ah, she must’ve been acting really bad. W-Wait, if it’s connected to that, she’d probably been acting like a moron for several days now. “Sorry..” she mumbled out in a manner that made her feel even more pathetic.

“Go to bed. Take a nap. You’re going through a rough time and your body is dragging you through hell. You should at least TRY to take care of yourself.”

“But-”

“I’ll tell Edie.”

“...okay…” Why did that threat make her feel so weak… With that, Dorothea opened the door and slowly closed it behind her, looking at Byleth the entire time, and giving a slight wave before finally closing it completely. 

...so does being on your period, like… amplify your emotions? She was used to the parts where she felt a little sickly, but this is the first time she had ever quite felt like… This. Wait, was it? She didn’t even realize how intense she was feeling until Dorothea literally just pointed it out. Was this how she got every single month? Like, every single month of her life? For the past, like, ten years? No wonder her father kept leaving her behind…

Sleepy… Byleth’s waves of anxiety were interrupted by a huge yawn.

Maybe she really should take that nap. Her students were so thoughtful and she’d be actually the worst if she didn’t. Byleth took off her glasses and laid her head down. And then she yawned again. She timidly pulled her head up to her pillow, yawned again, and let sleep take over her body.


	9. Chapter 9

I was too weak to protect Edelgard, so I stopped being weak.

I was too impatient to protect Edelgard, so I stopped being impatient

I was too careless to protect Edelgard, so I stopped being careless.

I was too scared to protect Edelgard, so I stopped being scared.

And then, I gave up on protecting Edelgard.

So I’ll never give up on her again.

I once stood at the helm. Then I offered guidance from my throne. But now; now?

All I can do is watch this play unfold. All I could do was offer my strength to my final self.

I love Edelgard von Hresvelg.

All I want to do; all I need to do; is show her the happy world that only existed in her dreams.

My name was Byleth Eisner.

I am Sothis.

-***-

Okay, this was a bad idea.

When Byleth woke up, she just felt more exhausted. She couldn’t move her body. Her arms refused to reach out for her glasses, and her legs refused to pull her out of bed. She was so incredibly sleepy. Maybe she should just close her eyes for a little bit longer. Sleep is good. She needed sleep. She was just so, so tired.

“Professor? Are you still asleep?” Edelgard’s distinct voice quietly peered through her wooden door.

“No… come in…”

A part of her didn’t even want to respond. She’d probably leave if she stayed quiet. But even just the thought of doing that made her feel a little guilty. Edelgard had been helping her out so much, it wasn’t like she could ever do anything that rude. Her student carefully made her way inside, quickly but quietly closing the door behind her as she entered.

“Dorothea asked me to wake you up, so you don’t forget to eat, and...” Edelgard took a step or two closer, before she quickly came to a halt. Are you okay? Should I call for Manuela?”

“I’m fine, I’m just tired…” It took her all of her strength, but she faintly pawed her arm at Edelgard, just to show her how okay she was. But that didn’t seem to satiate Edelgard, as she just brought herself closer. I’m just really tired, you don’t have to worry, you can just go away…

“Definitely not.” As she said that, Edelgard moved over to Byleth’s closets. She opened a few of them, before grabbing onto something and throwing it over Byleth’s face. She did her best to pull it off, but she kinda just laid there, powerless, instead. “Professor, dry yourself off- we’re going to the infirmary. Now.”

“Don’t wanna…” the towel was pushed in against her face, so her voice was probably a little muffled, but hopefully Edelgard could understand what she’s saying! Sadly, her student didn’t seem to be listening, as she just quickly sat herself down besides Byleth and pulled the towel off her face. Oh. She was kinda staring at Edelgard’s thighs. Not that she was particularly trying to, but Edelgard had kinda sat down in front of her and that meant she was getting an eyeful of red pantyhose… not that she minded, but…

“Please sit up, Professor.”

“Really don’t wanna…”

“Now.”

Okay, okay, if you’re going to insist. All she had to do was move her arms to her side and- huh? Wait, why couldn’t she move? She couldn’t do more than push the faintest movements into her fingers. Even as she tried to use all of her strength, it kinda felt like she was physically being held down by. Something.

“Professor?”

“I don’t think I can.”

Yeah. She actually couldn’t move. That was definitely a little more alarming. Edelgard moved her hands forward, holding them still just inches away from her shoulders, giving Byleth the few moments she needed to prepare herself for another person’s touch. When Edelgard’s hand actually moved forward, however…

Edelgard winced. While she didn’t make a sound, Byleth could see how she suddenly tensed up. More alarmingly, while Edelgard was quiet, her own body did make some noise.

As Edelgard reached forward to touch her, she could hear her skin… sizzle. As if throwing water on a burning-hot plate. Edelgard’s cold hands stuck to her skin for just a few seconds longer, before she quickly pulled back and wrapped the towel around Byleth instead. She slowly and very carefully sat Byleth up, before quickly wrapping an entire blanket around her body and lifting her to her feet.

“Can you stand?”

“I don’t know…”

Byleth tapped her feet around. Yeah, her legs seemed to be working a little better now. After the initial dismissal, she nodded her head and leaned her weakened body into Edelgard. Trying to match her pace. It was kind of miserable at first, but she slowly regained enough of her strength to keep up. She had to be about halfway through the infirmary before she quickly told Edelgard to “Stop.”

“What? Does something hurt? Do you need to catch your breath?”

“No, I’m… fine now.”

“Your skin is still incredibly red, professor.”

No, she reallly was fine! Byleth stood herself up straight and scratched those blankets off herself.Everything felt like it was back to normal. She didn’t feel as alarmingly tired, or at all, anymore!

“You’re not getting out of going to the infirmary, Professor.” Edelgard reached back down to grab Byleth’s towel. Quickly wrapping it around her hand, and starting to pull her with. Only for a few seconds, though. She made a cute little noise before tossing them aside and slowly grabbing one hand at Byleth’s upper arm

Oh, no sizzle this time. Edelgard quickly pulled her hand back, before letting out quite the sigh followed by a quick “What a relief.”

Yeah, it… certainly was a relief. That was weird. Byleth was back to being able to move herself around normally. The only oddity left was how sweaty she felt. Eww, her clothes were sticking to her body….

“Professor, what was… that?”

“I have no idea…”

Edelgard paused for a moment, before gesturing at Byleth and waving at her to follow. Yeah, they kind of… still had to do that going-to-the-infirmary thing. Thankfully, they were only a little bittie away! So, Byleth poked her head in before letting Edelgard explain what had happened. She even pulled her gloves off to show her own burnt palm. Byleth quickly apologized, but Edelgard quickly dismissed it.

Thankfully, Edelgard’s hands were back to normal after a minute or two of treatment. Byleth had to stay for a bit longer, though. Manuela said she wanted to ‘run some tests’ to make sure she was okay, but they all came back negative. There seemed to be nothing wrong with her, anymore, physically. She was told to stay overnight for monitoring purposes. It was… extremely uneventful.

Hanneman showed up to take her blood for his own testing, He mentioned something-or-other about Crests and how one of those could be at fault, but he came back an hour later and rejected that possibility. He said that her blood didn’t even show the smallest hint of having a Crest, so it couldn’t be something like it attacking her own body. She didn’t have to go hungry, either, because after a few hours of flailing around, Bernadetta showed up and gave her a lunchbox filled with food.

It was pretty awkward though, because they just kinda… looked at each other, before Bernadetta whined out ‘Please feel better’ before running away. With food in her stomach, Byleth felt a hundred percent completely revitalized! But, at Maneula’s insistence, she did stay the night in the infirmary… again confirming that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her body.

So! The day went as normal. Byleth taught her class. Edelgard kinda forced her to talk about what had happened. Something about how this is the sort of thing she should trust her students with, and also that if she didn’t tell everyone she would’ve told them herself. God, just talking about all the tests that had been run and all the results took up like half of the day. Also, for a first, Linhardt was completely awake during class and insisted she tell them more and more, before completely dropping off when she mentioned her lack of a Crest. Byleth probably wouldn’t have realized that was the only reason he was interested if it weren’t for how he literally said that ‘then he didn’t care’ and to ‘wake him up when this is all over’.

...when he woke up at the end of class, he said something awful about how he wished she was more ‘like her brother’ in the crest department. While Byleth lacked one, apparently Byrett had an incredibly rare one. They kinda stuck around on the subject of crests for a while, with Edelgard noting that she’s happy that she met someone so powerful without needing anything like that…

They didn’t really get too much done. Or, like, anything, really. When all of that talk was finally over, Edelgard and Byleth (mostly Edelgard) informed the class of the upcoming skirmish between the three classes. Aside from the classes and their individual teachers, Manuela and Tomas were to be there to both oversee it and to provide any required emergency first aid. It also stipulated that the professors wouldn’t be allowed to compete, and that all they were allowed to do was coach their students. Which… was probably a good thing, because if Byrett really was one of the strongest people at Garreg Mach, there was really no point to Byleth being there. It’d all be reaaally one sided and that’d be against the core idea of the competition

...or something like that. Most of those were Edelgard’s words.

Over the course of the next three days, the lessons were exclusively dedicated to preparing for the battle. While Byleth barely knew any of the students from the other classes, Hubert could thankfully provide a pretty detailed rep sheet on every single person they would be facing. Aside from the class leaders and their seconds, there was almost nothing too alarming.

‘Almost nothing’

...one of the students in the Golden Deer had definitively and unarguably become the strongest student in Garreg Mach. Her father’s only other pupil. Leonie. While she didn’t seem to have any particular interest in sparring with any other student, some of her students had seen some of the sparring sessions between Leonie and Jeralt. And, uh, a large part of their strategy revolved around not having to directly deal with Leonie. Apparently, she didn’t participate in the last of these events.

It was all… really exciting. Even if she couldn’t participate, she definitely felt excited to see how far her students had come. And by that, she meant, she was definitely excited to see them (hopefully) beat up all the Blue Lions. Just to prove a point to her brother. 

And to her father, really.

...and to her students, too!

The days went by without incident, and the day of the competition quickly arrived.

The rules were simple. The teachers all had to wait quietly in the backline of their class, and they weren’t allowed to move at all. If one of the opposing students tapped them, their class would be eliminated and all of their students would have to instantly leave the battlefield. The students themselves could only be eliminated by forcing them to surrender or by leaving them unable to fight. The student was then to leave the battlefield, or, if need be, be dragged out.

It was all incredibly exciting. The teachers were all positioned so they’d be able to monitor the entire battlefield, and shout orders if need be. That last part was really uncomfortable, but if she had to, Byleth was sure she’d maybe be able to hopefully do it! The students all had a few minutes to take their positions and do whatever final preparations that needed to be done, before Byrett would INCREDIBLY LOUDLY count down from three.

Two

One.

All of her students charged forward, entering open combat. They would go for the Blue Lions first, and then eliminate the Golden Deer. They all had everything pretty well planned out! Byleth remained at her vantage point, keeping watch.

Ferdinand engaged Felix.

Dorothea, Hubert and Bernadetta all worked together to quickly eliminate the long-ranged fighters they had in their back.

Petra fought off Sylvain.

Linhardt bombarded Dedue with his magic, while Edelgard kept him at bay.

Caspar went straight in to fight Ingrid.

...as expected, Dimitri stayed behind to protect Byrett. 

Everything was going as planned. The Golden Deer were taking positions to strike at any openings, except, uh-

Wait. One student was missing. Byleth quickly looked over the battlefield again, trying to re-evaluate the situation. Okay. Her students were pushing their advantage on the Blue Lions, and they were successfully pushing them away. Sylvain was quickly eliminated, and Petra went to help Ferdinand with Felix.

But

That’s not right

Eight, sixteen, twenty three…

One of the Golden Deer was missing. Was it Leonie? Where was she? Byleth called for the mages to quickly work on bombarding her, wherever she was, but…

It was too late.

If Byleth had been allowed to move, she would’ve been able to dodge. If Byleth had been allowed to fight, she would’ve effortlessly deflected the attack. But-

The Golden Deer’s start student really was too much for her students to deal with. She had been arrogant. As the lightning-fast Leonie raced closer, Byleth could only hope that the magic onslaught would stop her. Would slow her down. But she effortlessly weaved past everything.

It was over.

Leonie had already lunged at Byleth, and while she was easily able to catch her spear and push it aside, that didn’t really matter. Leonie had reached her. She had tagged her. 

...She had beaten her.

“The Black Eagles have been eliminated!”

...are you serious?

Did she just lose?

“Students, please all retreat to the sidelines!”

How was Leonie this fast?

...did she just lose? Did her students just lose? Did she just lose? She lost. She lost. She lost, she lost, she lost! It was all of her fault! Because she got stupid, this arrogant… she was a failure. A failure of a teacher. Her students were going to hate her, weren’t they? Because she messed up, and made a mockery out of them? They didn’t just lose. They weren’t just eliminated. They were in last place. They got eliminated first. They got, they got…

The depression immediately turned into frustration when she looked up and saw Leonie grinning at her. She must be so proud of herself. Yeah. You beat your teacher’s daughter. You beat me. Don’t laugh at me, please. Please just go away. Go beat my jerk of a brother. Just don’t let him win. Don’t let him get first place… why are you still here!?

“...The Golden Deer have been eliminated. The Blue Lions claim another victory!”

What?

No. What happened? When happened? Byleth raced her head around, only to see Dimitri stand with his lance over Hanneman.

...they won.

Her brother won.

Byleth really just wanted to scream. She wanted to grab something and toss it as hard as she could, but she didn’t really have anything on hand.

She lost. She lost, and she lost this fast, too…

Byleth really just wanted to run away, but she felt too upset to move. She felt like her students would feel even worse if she ran away. It’s like, one of the very few things that could make this even worse!! Right? People hated it when others just abandoned them, in their time of need… her students had returned to her, and they talked among themselves, and each other.

“I’m sorry,”

“Don’t be.”

Shut up, let me say I’m sorry! This feels awful enough already. To lose like this. Like an idiot. This was SO nauseating. Stupid, stupid, stupid… her students are going to hate her. They really are. They really, really, really are… Byleth timidly looked up at her students. They were talking to each other, but they were definitely upset. They weren’t talking to her at all. They must be so angry at her. So, stupidly angry…

...AH!

An ear-ringing explosion tore through the air. Byleth quickly covered her ears and closed her eyes, but the damage had already been done. It was loud enough to make her feel dizzy. Out of balance… no, wait, that’s not important! They were done. Nothing like this is supposed to happen! Byleth darted her eyes around. Okay, the students of the Blue Lions and Golden Deer were all hanging out in the midst of the former battlefield. Those were all safe. Manuela was there, but- huh? On a lone hill a distance away from the battlefield, Byleth could see Hanneman, being quickly devoured by some strange energy that warped around and into his body.

What’s… what’s happening?

His body started to change. He grew bigger. His skin warped into scales, his eyes went blood-red… huh?

That’s… a demonic beast. That’s definitely a demonic beast. It only took mere seconds before the quadrupedal beast took form, and nothing of Hanneman remained. There was only this monster, accompanied by an elderly man standing behind him.


	10. Chapter 10

I convinced myself I just wanted to use her. Yet I spent countless sleepless nights yearning for her return. I shed tears for her, tears I had sworn to never bear again. When she returned, she gave me a ring that would never leave my hand. When the war ended, we were wed. We came together not to pass down our Crests nor out of political necessity, but because of our genuine, mutual love. After a decade of sacrifice and after years of trying to kill my own feelings, I finally found the happiness I thought I would never be allowed to have.

The happiness I knew I no longer deserved. The happy future I had thrown away. I could see a future in which I wasn’t just Edelgard von Hresvelg, the great Emperor of Fódlan. I could see a future in which I was Edelgard Eisner, a woman who had found her endless happiness after a life full of endless strife.

—she left me again. After we vowed we would not ever be apart.

I never gave up hope. I knew she would one day return, like she had done before. So I worked my hardest to carve Fódlan into the world of our dreams. To make a country in which rulership isn’t determined by Crests or birthright. I planned to abdicate the moment my beloved wife returned to me. I had appointed an heir that shared our progressive vision.

By the fifth year, I lost my smile.

By the sixth year, I lost my hope.

By the seventh year, I lost my will.

By the eighth year, I lost my drive.

By the tenth year, I lost my life.

I could no longer go back to the my lonely life as the Emperor of Fódlan. My time at Garreg Mach gave me a taste of happiness, and now I’ve grown addicted to the ecstasy of love.

—so I moved to erase every last trace of those that slithered in the dark. Because they took away my happiness. Not once, but twice. If only their roots hadn’t ran deeper than I could’ve ever imagined

That was a lost, past me, of so many times ago.

I shouldn’t remember. No, rather, I do not remember. These memories never come with me to the world of the living, and they always sink when I return from the realm of dreams. These are nonexistent memories that only linger to haunt my every night. Burnt into me by the crest of the Goddess.

—and still

I fell for Byleth, every single time. I love Byleth, and I always will. No many how many thousands of times we meet anew, this will never change. Even as I took her life. Even as she took mine.

I cannot regret my feelings. I will not regret these feelings. As long as my heart beats and my Crest burns, I will crave for the woman I love.

This mind, these memories, they will all dissipate in mere hours. As I rise from this empty throne, I will be no more, and I’ll return to my daytime life as my ‘real’ self.

—One day.

I wish to hear her heartbeat. Just once more. I wish to see her smile. Just one more time.

I no longer want to be the Lady of Hresvelg.

Please

Just let me be Edelgard Eisner.

Just one more time.

Let us live together, and die peacefully together.

***

No, that’s not right. This isn’t right. Nothing about this is right. This is wrong. This is all wrong.

Byleth was supposed to win… she was supposed to win! Her students were going to praise her, and she was going to again beat her brother. It was going to be fun. A friendly competition! That ended in Byleth winning! Like it always does! And her brother losing! Like he did before! Because… maybe, I don’t know! If she wasn’t good enough for her father, what if her students…

...why are you worrying about this… when there’s a demonic beast right there! Right there, right there right there right there… if she didn’t eliminate it, she wouldn’t have any students left to impress. A handful of these creatures was more than enough to scare off an average army, and honestly, ten could probably tear through a well-defended city.

...and this… this thing? 

A simple look was enough to judge it stronger than any regular variation of these monsters. Not only was it absolutely massive, it shimmered with a dark aura. Its red, beady eyes peered down at the students that stood in their midst. Some put up their guard, while others seemed utterly horrified. It was a reaction Byleth had seen too often before, whenever her fellow mercenaries first laid sight on this kind of opponent…

It roared and jumped forward, lunging straight at the blob of students. While strong, it didn’t seem particularly fast. Fast enough to catch up to her students within an instant, sure, but-

Byleth just had to focus. Before dashing forward as fast as she possibly could. Byleth whipped her blade to her side and let the chain within extend. Byleth slashed upwards, her blade splitting into its many segments and carving straight through one of its front legs. It growled in pain, and Byleth went for the fini-

“Professor! Please save him!”

...eh?

Byleth had intended to sever and incinerate its body with her blade, but someone distracted her at the very last moment. Who was that!? What were they thinking!? It wasn’t one of her students, so Byleth figure it must be one of Hanneman’s. A lot of thoughts raced through her head, She felt herself freeze.

...even if it wasn’t exactly one of her students, it wasn’t like she could just…

It felt as if time had come to an utter standstill. What was she supposed to do? Save him? How? He had turned into… well, he had turned into this! 

“Please.”

Time returned to normal. Byleth hopped backwards and dropped her blade, striking her hand forward and instead blasting it point-blank with an intense gust of wind. Enough to send it flying, but not enough to do anything too much more. As it crashed onto the ground, it let out a disgusting whine. It struggled to get back on its feet, wincing and whining before finally regrowing its lost leg and finding its balance.

“What are you doing!? You could kill him!”

Nngh.

Enmity so thick that Byleth could feel it singe her skin..

...if she didn’t save Hanneman, would her students… hate her?

How was she even supposed to do something like that? It wasn’t like he was just… somewhere inside of that creature, right?

Byleth reached her hand out to catch her sword, before quickly leaping at the corrupted Hanneman and the old man he once-again stood with. That was Tomas, right? What was he doing there? Was he some sort of traitor?

“Good day, lady Sothis.”

Who? No, nevermind. Byleth didn’t really have the time to worry about something like that. Byleth struck her blade forward, the serrated edge slinging straight at Tomas’ throat. He used some sort of shadow-y blast in attempts to divert it, but the dark magical energy scattered upon contact with Byleth’s sword. The old man leaned to the side, almost falling over in a pathetic attempt to dodge her strike.

“Please, lady Sothis. I don’t want to fight you.”

Byleth shot a glare at the demonic beast. His feral aggression had receded, but he still clearly stood ready to strike at a moment’s notice. Byleth simply pointed her blade as his throat, as the old man pathetically stumbled back onto his feet.

“Would you be so kind as to hand yourself over to us?”

Byleth felt no need to respond. Tomas just grumbled emptily in response. Any shred of intimidation had already long disappeared. He couldn’t reach her students, so he was no threat.

“What a shame.” Tomas slowly raised his hand. Were he to make any sudden or surprising movements, Byleth would have no hesitation and just quickly end his life. Were it not for the off chance that the old man would surrender, she would’ve already done so. If nothing else, he might have some idea of how to revert Hanneman, She couldn’t really risk just striking him down. Well, yet.

But rather than anything helpful, he just swiped his arm back down 

“Kronya. Eliminate the Hresvelg girl.”

“Alrighty~!”

Ah? Wait! Byleth turned about as fast as she possibly could, extending her sword with a swipe of her hand. A dagger flew in Edelgard’s reaction. Fast, but not fast enough. All Byleth just had to do was swing her blade forward- and knock it straight out of the air! It shouldn’t be too hard. It’d just be like catching a smaller arrow! Should be easy! Byleth readied her blade, and-

A loud whine alerted her. Byleth reflexively jumped back, and only barely managed to avoid a hit from the inhuman Hanneman’s oversized claw. Had she been an instant slower, she would’ve been minced by his paw. Then again, if she had been an instant slower, she wouldn’t have to watch as that dagger soared closer and closer to Edelgard’s neck.

It was… perfectly aimed. Faster than any arrow. And Edelgard hadn’t even seen it coming.

...why are you all this slow and oblivious!? 

Was… was Byleth just that much faster?

Because her students moved like weighted down and held by some incredible weight. “El!” Byleth yelled out, but she couldn’t have any reaction other than a quick startle before that dagger would jam straight into her throat.

No, no, no…

That can’t happen!

Byleth reached her hand out. As if trying to catch it with her own hand. Everything got heavier and heavier. Went slower and slower. Even her fall had grinded to a complete halt.

How much time had passed?

A second, maybe two?

But it all went so, so, so slow. As if time itself was pulsing to a halt.

Until- until.

That dagger suddenly clanked off something. A spear- oh.

Her brother’s spear.

Everything around her returned to normal, and Byleth almost lost her balance as her feet finally reached the ground. She staggered backwards, and the moment she regained her balance, she kicked her left leg up at his face. Enough to buy her the few seconds she needed to return her attention to Edelgard.

Yeah… She was fine.

Was, until another dagger flew at her. Another. Another. A third, fourth, all from different angles until finally tied off by the shifting shadow of a woman. The daggers were all intercepted by Byrett, and Leonie had stepped up to keep the assailant- probably the Kronya Tomas spoke of, away.

Everything really, really was safe. They could keep her students safe, if just for whatever time Byleth needed to finish this up. Her attention shifted back to Hanneman. She assumed he would come with strength to match his size, but he really didn’t seem any different from any other demonic beast. If she hadn’t been asked to avoid killing him, she could probably end him right here and now. A single strike of her blade could bisect it, and a second could rupture the skies and leave the inhuman Hanneman as ashes.

...this was a little bit more complicated, though. Byleth carefully dodged his strikes, cutting away at his limbs with every step she took. Before- finally… slashing straight through them, and letting him collapse on his side. Okay, good. That problem’s taken care of, for now!

Now, To-

...where’d he go?

Byleth shifted her attention to her students instead. Leonie and Byrett had teamed up to keep Kronya at bay, but she quickly leapt away and dropped… something at her feet. Some sort of magical glyph appeared at her feet, and she quickly disappeared from Byleth’s sight. Both of them had left. 

...that… wasn’t great. If Tomas was the one that transformed him, he’d probably also be the only one that had any idea on how to revert him back to normal. But… she was asked to… she was told to! She had to figure this out. Had to! If Byleth couldn’t figure out how to save Hanneman, her students would hate her! Hate her…

So, she just had to.

Byleth kneeled down over the felled beast. Dragging her fingers across its body. She wished she could even pretend to know what she was doing, but… well… maybe Hanneman’s inside of here? Somehow? Somewhere? The creature was almost entirely soft, but around the middle of his body, she could feel… something. in there. Byleth grabbed back at her sword, and carefully worked to carve it out.

...oh.

As her blade tore through his flesh, it started dissipating. Fading into ash, aside from the area that Byleth had just cut out.

...It really was Hanneman. Well, his body. His bloodied, not-very-okay looking body. Okay, good. She got him out! His body was still in one piece. He didn’t seem to have any wounds immediately-noticeable wounds. There was a lot of blackness stuck on his body, and it seemed like some tar was coming out of his chest.

Alright, um. Healing magic! Byleth focused her powers to her fingers. Okay, all you need to do is just stabilize him. One of her hands gentle hovered above his face, whilst the other covered that blood-oozing hole. It actually seemed like it was working somehow, somewhat! What a relief. Even if she didn’t care about Hanneman, her students seemed to…

Byleth’s focused was interrupted by a sudden, sharp pain in her hand. Hanneman just… bit her. She tried to yank her hand back, but that only resulted in her flesh tearing more. His biting grew rougher, tighter… until his body started to transform once again. The head formed first, razor-sharp teeth not just digging into her hand, but soon growing to engulf her entire arm. Byleth drew her sword, getting re-

No, no, no! She couldn’t do that. That’d probably kill him. That might upset her students! That might disappoint her students! Hanneman was near death, right? All she had to do was bare with the pain, for just a little longer. His strength would probably soon leave him, and all she would have to do is heal him again.

It was pretty funny.

She had assassinated people in front of their own crying children.

...yet this was getting to her.

What was wrong with her?

She had only been here for a month. Yet she had grown just as scared of disappointing those at Garreg Mach, as she had been of disappointing her father…

“Professor!”

Just as the pain had started to fade, Edelgard showed up. The placated demon quickly sprung back to life, wasting its final breaths of life in an attempt to get away. But it was too late. A strike of Edelgard’s axe cleanly split Hanneman’s body, and the shadows that had wrapped around Byleth’s arm were instantly banished by light, freeing the bloodied limb underneath.

...bloodied?

No. Byleth couldn’t find a single wound left on her arm. Instead, her arm had…

...no, what even was this?

Byleth reached her functional hand over to her numbed arm. Rather than bloodied wounds, her entire arm was covered by… something resembling gemstones. Growing from her arms. From where the wounds had been. Byleth carefully moved her fingers closer, just carefully tapping against them. They felt rock-solid, razor-sharp and warm.

“Professor!? Your arm- are you okay!?”

Huh? Oh, right. Edelgard arrived. As soon as her attention pulled away from her arm, the odd material lost its colour and its strength, and with just a single movement of her until-then numb limb, it all cracked and faded away, revealing a perfectly uninjured arm. Even the numbness had disappeared. It was as if nothing had ever happened to it, at all.

And Byleth’s skin remained untainted, unblemished by any sort of wound or scar.

Just her skin, though. “I’m okay…” Byleth muttered out “I’m sorry, I really messed up.”

“Not now, we-”

“I messed up.”

“Professor, we can worry about all of that later. Manuela needs your help, now. Your brother has been poisoned and he might-”

“Don’t wanna.”

“He might die.”

Die? Another person? Because of her inaction? Byleth quickly pulled herself to her feet and shook her head. This wasn’t the right time. Byleth needed just a moment to catch her breath and regain her wits. She gave Edelgard a silent nod, before heading off to where those students had gathered.

As she arrived, she saw her brother lying lifeless on the floor, no sign of consciousness in his entire body. Manuela seemed to be struggling to keep him alive, and Byleth really had no idea what she could do to help. Really. If Manuela couldn’t do this, how was she supposed to help? Byleth wasn’t like a doctor! Sure, she had some expertise in healing magic, but it definitely in no way compared to what Manuela could do! She was winging it with Hanneman, but he… um, he was mostly physically undamaged! And the damage he did have was localized to one specific region. Her brother? Well… countless cuts were scattered across his body. He was bleeding pretty badly. And if Manuela couldn’t heal him… was that poison somehow preventing his wounds from healing?

Or, um…

Honestly, Byleth had no clue. She had an easy time healing herself, but healing other people was… completely different. Like! She could try the same as she did to Hanneman, but would it ever work? Byleth gathered magic into her fingers, holding her hands above him, before-

Byleth winced as a burning sensation trickled to her fingers. As if boiling oil trickled down her finger, and splashing right onto Byrett’s body. It burned a hole through his clothes, but as soon as it touched his skin underneath, it just instantly dissipated, fading into his body. Soon after, he opened his eyes. And within a few seconds he, of course, opened his mouth.

“Hnn… Look, I-I got cut up saving your girlfriend… will you finally accept me as your brother…?”

And as always, he wasn’t particularly worth responding to. Byleth silently pulled herself away from him, and he took the chance to sit back up- which the Blue Lions took as a cue to storm him. He could barely get to his feet before he had people clinging onto him and hanging off his shoulders. Something about being happy that he was okay. Byleth had to take a few steps back and cover her ears from how increasingly eager and excited they had gotten. While it seemed like Byrett could still only barely move, he definitely seemed saved from imminent danger.

They really cared for him, didn’t they?

Byleth felt just the slightest bit relieved. That is- until she turned around and was faced by most of the students of the Golden Deer. Three of them seemed to be gone; Leonie, Claude, and the pink haired twin-tailed girl. Byleth didn’t need words to understand what they wanted to know. They looked at her silently in a matter that slowly made a most unpleasant feeling crawl up her body.

What was she supposed to say?

Byleth couldn’t think of the words, so she just shook her head. The simple gesture was enough to wreck the mood of the children in front of her.

They weren’t her students.

Byleth hadn’t even interacted with most of them. And even when she had, it was kept to nothing but simple greetings.

So why does it feel so bad to see them like this?

“I’m sorry.”

Should she have… tried harder? The blue haired girl had started crying. Whining out something about how it had been her fault. The rest of the class followed. Not all of them cried, but they each reacted in their own ways. Byleth could even hear some cursing and blame tossed her way.

...was this how people felt when they lost someone important to them?

Did they react with sadness and hate?

Of course they did. How many times have you seen people cry because you killed someone important to them, Byleth? How many times have you stood there, completely unfeeling, as the tears washed down their face? 

It was just a little different. These tears weren’t caused because she took someone’s life.

It was because she failed to protect someone.

...it was a little different, and so much worse.


	11. Chapter 11

How hard could it be, to speak? To say a single sentence?

All she had to do was squeeze the words out of the bottom of her throat. Just talk. Talk. Talk! It shouldn’t be hard. How much time had she spent talking to her students over the past days? The past weeks? Logically speaking, physically speaking, this shouldn’t be any different! All Byleth really had to do, was speak to the students in front of her. Just a few simple words.

...what was she supposed to say?

No, Byleth knew exactly what she was supposed to say. One sentence. Three words.

‘Edelgard did it.’

How hard could that physically be?

Because it felt impossible. No matter how hard she tried. It was something like stuck in her throat. No- more accurately, it was like something was stuck around her throat. And every time she tried to force these words out, it just crushed down. Incredibly tight. Choking her and making her swallow her own words right back down, and instead just forcing out that very same ‘I’m sorry.’ Byleth clutched her left hand to her right arm, and squeezed down as hard as she possibly could.

Why couldn’t she just say it, when it hurt this much to not say it!?

...would it hurt more if she did?

If Byleth had to see them redirect this very same anger toward Edelgard, how would she feel?

The students of the Golden Deer grew increasingly more frustrated and angry. Their questioning became more aggressive and direct as time went on. Even if the time this was taking hadn’t been more than a minute.

‘Why didn’t you save him?’

“I’m sorry.” No, I tried my hardest!

‘Why did you kill him!?’

“I’m sorry.” No, Edelgard killed him, because Hanneman was attacking her.

‘Why won’t you say anything!?’

“I’m sorry.” I’m trying my hardest. I really am! But the words really just aren’t following my thoughts.

‘Do you even care!?’

“I’m sorry.” I… think so? I don’t know! I’m really scared, I’m really frustrated, I feel really heavy! So I think so! This is definitely all incredibly miserable! I’m miserable! Can’t you see that I’m miserable? Ah, no, wait… Byleth moved her left hand up to her face, covering the smile she could feel growing on her lips. Trying to keep her face relaxed was making her forced smile even wider. Don’t smile in a situation like this! Wait, had she been smiling the entire time?

...was that why they were getting so upset?

Thankfully, though, Byleth was soon rescued from the situation by her white-haired favourite student. As if nothing had happened, she just called out to the Golden Deer.

“Lysithea, with me. It’s urgent.”

A white-haired girl quickly hopped out of the ground. She quietly whispered something to Edelgard, to which Edelgard responded with a simple shake of her head and a firmer “Now, Lysithea.” Edelgard took the smaller girl with her and, ahh… no, don’t leave! As if she heard Byleth’s mental cries, Edelgard stopped mid pace and turned back to her and those students.

“And please lay off the Professor. She risked her life to save your teacher. She even recklessly endangered herself- so I stepped in, and slew him. Understand?”

Edelgard was a lot stricter and a little more firm than she normally was. It was kind of terrifying… but, it definitely did manage to calm the other class. Or, at the very least, it shut them up momentarily. It also left one or two of the students apologizing to her for their behaviour, but…

...were they going to treat Edelgard like this? That’d be.. Bad. Byleth looked over towards Edelgard. She had moved a fair distance away from any other students, just holding her private conversation with Lysithea. If she wasn’t busy, Byleth would’ve probably, um, inquired for Edelgard’s assistance in explaining all of this to her own students. Byleth had gotten a whole lot better at talking to her students, but after seeing how the Golden Deer reacted, Byleth didn’t quite know how she was supposed to tell anyone else. Well- she couldn’t even tell the Golden Deer!

Speaking of, the three missing students of the Golden Deer just showed back up. They quickly mentioned something about how they had lost track of the red-haired woman and Tomas, Well… that made sense, kinda? The students must’ve seen what happened, and then immediately left to chase after the perpetrators! 

...Byleth took the moment of their return as a chance to just quickly leave. Just so she wouldn’t have to be around them when the news dropped. She first tried to regroup with her own class, but, um, Dorothea was stuck talking to Manuela, and the rest of her class was… well, the people she felt most comfortable around were talking to other people…

Well, that’s okay.

It just meant Byleth got to have some time to herself!

...to herself.

Byleth felt her strength fade more and more as she moved further away from the students and her colleagues. Why did this have to happen? Why did it have to be this way? She barely knew Hanneman. She had never felt any attachment to him, and his death didn’t particularly phase her- but after seeing how all those children reacted… she’d probably feel that way if she lost someone close to her, right? Distressed, angry, sad, confused… the thought of losing people she cared for already caused those emotions!

...but.

What if she couldn’t? She couldn’t cry for Hanneman, she couldn’t feel anything for Hanneman. But he was one of her colleagues, and maybe even a friend! The idea of losing one of her precious own students terrified her, the thought of losing her father hurt her, but…

What if she lost them and… didn’t feel anything? She had killed so many and had seen even more people die. Repetition makes things less and less difficult, right? Did that mean that, maybe…

What if her father died? What if Edelgard died?

Would she even care?

Would she even… cry?

Wouldn’t that mean she really was the demon people accused her of being?

...no. That’s wrong. It has to be wrong. And if it isn’t- it’s okay.

That just meant Byleth never had to lose anyone, right?

It should be easy for the demon- no, the woman- who was seen as the strongest person alive? By her students.

And

By her father.

...It’s all alright.

‘Don’t let Byrett die?’

...no, Father.

I won’t let anyone around me die.

***

This was supposed to be a friendly competition. Byleth was supposed to win. Everyone was supposed to be thankful of her. Everyone was supposed to praise her. And now this- all of this, just had to happen. Even as the dust settled and everyone was made up-to-date of what happened, the classes choose to linger around the battlefield a little bit longer. Some wanted to pay respect to their fallen teacher, some needed time to gather and recollect their emotions, and some insisted on patrolling the area time after time after time again. Hoping for some trace of information they might’ve missed their first few times. Eventually, Leonie- by far the fastest- was dispatched to inform Garreg Mach and to summon the Knights of Seiros. A small group of knights escorted the students on their travels back to Garreg Mach, while two remained at the scene. Two female knights- a sniper by the name Shamir and a swordsmistress by the name of Catherine.

As Byleth was the only one to have actually faced the transformed Hanneman and the only one to have directly interacted with the traitorous Tomas, she was chosen to debrief the intimidating pair. Even as their stern glares sunk into Byleth, though, she managed to remain calm and told them pretty much everything she remembered. It would’ve probably been a lot more difficult had she not been too emotionally drained to feel fear or fluster.

..oh, right.

There was one thing she almost forgot. It only returned to her mind when Shamir finished their conversation with a quick “Anything else?”

“Tomas called me Lady Sothis, and asked me to join him.”

“Hah. Old man lost his marbles.” Catherine put one of her hands on her side, and spoke quite loudly. Were it not for her battle-ready posture, Byleth would’ve probably assumed she was having fun. But… well…

Catherine’s grip clearly squeezed down on the grip of her blade. She had even solidified her posture. She was very definitely getting ready to strike. Byleth slowly put her sword-arm on her own blade, at the ready to intercept any sudden strike.

“I… apologize for my partner, Professor.” Shamir said, before quickly shooting a glance at Catherine and mouthing something at her. Even though no words came out, whatever she wordlessly said was enough to get Catherine to stand down and relax. Which in itself was enough for Byleth herself to stand down, too.

...what happened?

Why did she suddenly grab at her sword?

Did Byleth say something bad or hurtful? Was it her body language again? Was she smiling like an idiot- urgh… why?

“Ignore her, she’s been on edge since she heard Tomas was a traitor.”

Byleth stared at Shamir for a few moments, before slowly nodding.

“How’d you answer?”

“Huh?”

“You know- when Tomas asked.”

You… what? Wait, did you think she would say yes!? Thankfully, this newer, more awkward silence was interrupted by Catherine, who just suddenly started laughing.

“Don’t be too mean, Shamir. It’ll look bad for us if she told Rhea about this.” Catherine casually gestured at Byleth while speaking. “‘Cause one of Rhea’s kids wouldn’t ever betray us, right?”

Byleth looked from knight to knight, before quickly shaking her head. Nope, she hadn’t considered something like that for even a second. Wouldn’t betraying them mean fighting her students? Byleth definitely couldn’t do that. If she hurt one, the rest would definitely, very definitely…

“One thing though, kid?” Catherine once again spoke. Byleth nodded her head, and Catherine quickly followed up again. “...if someone refers you by the name of the Goddess again, don’t let them escape. I won’t berate a teacher for protecting their students, but it is unacceptable to let an enemy of the church roam free.”

Byleth nodded, again silent. So, ‘Sothis’ was the name of this Goddess?

...why was Tomas calling her Sothis?

“Now, get outta here. Shamir’s tired of talking to you.” As Catherine said that, Shamir slowly turned her head to her and just stared for a moment, before shrugging. Byleth took the unsubtle hint, and quickly caught up with her class and returned to Garreg Mach. Her body and her mind screamed at her to return to her room. To lock herself in, and just sleep for as long as she possibly could. But…

...but…

Something urged her to talk to her dad. It’s been a few weeks since had actually talked to him. Plus, it was her fault that her brother got injured… she probably owed both Rhea and Jeralt an apology. And… her brother some attention, she guessed. He did get messed up pretty badly protecting the girl she had grown closest to. He even called Edelgard her ‘girlfriend.’, whatever he meant by that. Sure, they were friends. Close friends! Like… well, Byleth would’ve been even more lost had Edelgard not helped her this much! It had only been a month, but Edelgard had definitely made herself an integral part of Byleth’s life.

...there was something wonderful and warm about the thought of having Edelgard as her girlfriend, too… but… ahh. Why are you worrying about this sort of thing! This is so not like you, Byleth. You shouldn’t get your mind stuck on something this stupid… actually, no, honestly, getting her mind stuck on stupid things was totally her. 

But this definitely wasn’t the time to think about it. She was sitting down next to her still-recovering brother, waiting on a bench right next to the stairs leading to Rhea’s room. She had asked the green-haired younger girl that always seemed to orbit around Rhea to deliver a quick message, and now all she could do was wait with her brother. Byleth gave him a quick side-eye. Idiot, getting her mind stuck on this sort of thing… yup. Byleth knew herself well enough to realize that this would probably be on her mind for the next several weeks. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

...no, stop thinking like that… He’s injured because of you. Not just because he was protecting your closest friend, but because he was protecting one of the very students you should’ve been protecting! And you almost let him die, too… just because you were scared of confronting your students. Just because you were scared… you almost made everything worse… you almost made your own father hate you… thankfully, Byleth wasn’t left to wallow in her anxiety for too much longer, because Rhea and Jeralt finally stepped down the stairs. Rhea instantly threw herself at Byrett and locked him into an incredibly tight embrace, his head onto her shoulder.

“My child… my precious child. I couldn’t bear to lose you.” Her hand was running across his hair, tenderly caring for him. While her cheeks were dry, her eyes were a little red. Byrett slowly moved his arms up to wrap back around Rhea, but he wasn’t capable of much more than that. He couldn’t even stand on his own feet- when Byleth arrived, she got a glimpse of Dimitri practically carrying him here.

Byrett could’ve died.

...and just the ‘could’ve’ was enough to trigger all these emotions in Rhea.

If Byleth almost died, would her father do this to her?

...would anyone ever hold her like that? Stroke her hair like that? Sure, a ton of people had bypassed her personal space and just embraced her. But it was always void of any of this sort of emotion. Usually it was just lust or something in the final second of one of her target’s life. And it wasn’t like her father ever held her like that...

...was this what Rhea was trying to give her, too? Was that why she couldn’t get herself to struggle?

After a few seconds of glaring, Byleth dragged her eyes away and stared down at the floor instead. Trying to distract herself from whatever was happening next to her. Trying to shut out all the mumbling and whining, and successfully doing so until her father put his oversized hand on her head.

“You did good, kid.”

It did feel wonderful to be praised. It meant her father wasn’t upset at her, even though she had been avoiding him for such… asinine and selfish reasons… who cares if he lied… who cares who cares who cares! He was her father. He was still her father! It was probably her fault he had been keeping all of this secret from her, anyway…

“Small miracle that you managed to get to him before the poison did.” Father said, pulling his hands away and kneeling in front of her. “Bigger miracle that you actually manage to cure him. I’ve seen so many people die to this, kid… and it turns out my girl’s the one to finally figure out how to cure it.”

“I didn’t do anything. Something weird-”

“-something weird came out of your hands when Hanneman injured you. Yeah, kid, we’ve been briefed. The little Hresvelg brat wanted to make su-.”

“Please don’t call her a brat…”

Her father went quiet, for just a few moments. Long enough for it to become awkward. Byleth rolled her eyes up just long enough to catch her father making another weird expression she was pretty sure she hadn’t ever seen before. She didn’t want to upset her father or anything, but she felt something sting when he just casually insulted Edelgard, and deep enough to temporarily overwhelm the anxiety she was feeling.

“Yeah, uh,” Her father took started speaking, then took an annoyingly long pause. “Lady Hresvelg made sure we knew. She seemed incredibly worried for ya.”

...worried? Worried? Ahh, noo, you shouldn’t be worried for her! She’s fine, she’s fine! Please don’t feel stressed, Edelgard! Ahh, thinking about Edelgard was starting to stress her out! Well, she thought it was stressing herself out! There’s no way the idea of making Edelgard feel worried would ever make her happy, so the fact that she as smiling right now definitely meant it was stress! This stupid facial tic…

After a few moments of silence, her father spoke up again. “Well, I’m uh, happy that ya got a…” He stared emptily at Byleth for a moment.

“Friend?”

“Seriously? No, nevermind. Yeah, that.” Father sighed. What the heck was that supposed to mean? “I’m happy you got a friend that cares for you that much.”

Byleth have her father a good glare, but he just remained silent. Right as the silent turned awkward, he turned to her brother and his ‘mother.’ “Uh, dear? Didn’t ya have anything to say to her?”

“Dear?” Before anyone could respond, Byleth quickly interjected. A response apparently shocking enough to leave all three suddenly staring at her. Even her injured brother was looking at her in a way that kinda just made her feel stupid. Father pulled his hand back. Noo, don’t do that… The headpats were kind of comforting… 

“Did you not tell her?”

“Figured she’d have put two and two together by now.”

“Weren’t you the one to tell me about her oblivious and innocent nature?”

“Yeah, well…”

Rhea and Jeralt went back and forth for a few moments, before Byleth quickly cut in with a sharp “I-I’m right here…”. As ‘oblivious’ as she was, it was extremely obvious that they were making fun of her right to her face. It kinda hurt, really. It made her feel really stupid, even more so because she had absolutely no idea what was going on. All eyes now fell on her father, who kind of awkwardly muttered out a response.

“Well, after your mom passed… Uh, without your mom around, I hadn’t a clue on how to raise a kid, so…” So what? Rhea helped raise Byrett and Byleth when they were really young? You… kinda already told me that, Father. Why are you making such a big deal about it? He was quite obviously starting to tense up. He even shot Rhea a quick look, but she dismissed him with a shake of her head. Jeralt sloowly turned his head back to Byleth, before finally continuing his sentence. “...Uh, Rhea did her absolute best to help me figure out what I was doin’. And, uh..”

“Jeralt.” Rhea sharply interjected.

“...well, uh. I’ve been datin’ Rhea here now, for the last twenty-one years.”

You what!? “What about Mother?” Byleth said. He always mentioned how much he loved her, and he kept talking about how important their ring was to them…

...that ring.

Wait.

Where’d it go? It wasn’t on his hand. Byleth actually raced her hands to her father’s left hand, her tiny hands shaking it around.

“Sorry, kid. I thought I always hated Rhea, but when your mother died, she was the one that provided me with comfort.”

But.

Twenty one years ago?

Her mother died shortly after giving birth. Right? And she and her brother were twenty-one years old. And he said he’s been with Rhea for twenty-one years now. So. In the very same year that her mother passed, he had moved on to another woman.

Even though he kept talking to her about how important she was. Even though he kept talking about he would never forget her. About the importance of that ring. God, this was SO disgusting. Byleth didn’t quite understand all the ways her feelings were going right now because of how overwhelming it was, but she definitely felt a spike of nausea. Yet another thing her father had lied about.

“...Whenever you told me you were off for a bit, you were going here, right?”

“Yeah. Sorry, kid.”

“...to spend time with your girlfriend and son.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“...to spend time with your family…”

Her father didn’t respond. Instead, he just silently looked at Byleth. But after what felt like an eternity, he finally nodded his head.

“...why?”

“Guess you reminded me of your mother. So I wanted to be the man she loved around you.”

The more Jeralt said, the more her headache started to flare up. Within seconds, it had moved from a minor annoyance to an unbearable, ever present throb.

“...s’why I gave you her sword. Didn’t consider giving it to anyone else, for even a second. S’why I trained you, and no one else.”

You… after Byleth tried to convince herself your lies were fine, after Byleth tried to convince herself that everything you did was fine… you just…

“...I wanted to tell ya when you became an adult, but I chickened out.”

So instead, you just lied to her.

Lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied. All you did was lie. All you did was lie. You’ve never done anything, but lie to Byleth. You’ve never done anything other than lie to your very own daughter.

“...What did you do with the ring.”

“Thought you would’ve noticed by now. Dropped it off in your drawer when we were talkin’ in your room.”

Good. Because there’s no way you’re getting that back. ‘I want you to one day give this to someone you love as much as I loved your mother’. You don’t get to say something like that. You don’t get to say something like that, ever again. Ever, ever, ever! You don’t get to have it ever again. That’s right, I’ll give it to someone- eventually, someone I love like you pretended to love my mother.

“Kid? I never lied to you about loving your mother. Adults… can just get really complicated.”

I wanna punch you so badly, Jeralt. Please stop talking.

“And, uh.. Look, kid. I wanted to have us all be together, as a family. But those damned Slithers really have it in for you and your brother. So I...”

Who? No- it didn’t matter. Byleth stood herself up and clenched her fitts tightly. Had she… had she ever been this mad? She could honestly feel her head head pound and her entire body tremble. Again and again, you tell her that she could’ve had a life with a family. A family that might hug her, console her, talk to her. A family that would be there for her, and not leave her alone for weeks and months on end. And the only reason he didn’t was… what?

Because someone was ‘after’ her and Byrett?

...so he even cared about his safety more than hers.

Did he like… want her to die? Because… someone was after her.,.. And he just left her alone. Constantly, constantly, constantly…

“Kid, listen.”

But Byleth just shook her head and walked away. Retreating back to her room for the day, and locking herself in. She just felt so angry. So overwhelmingly angry. She didn’t even feel sad, or scared, or anything like that. All she could feel was anger. Anger that left her so light-headed she felt like she could pass out. All Byleth had the energy to do before losing consciousness was reach into her drawer, grab the ring her father left… and put it on her right hand.

Byleth had never known her mother, but with how much her father told her about her… Byleth always imagined her as a wonderful person she looked up to. Byleth rested one hand on her other, and simply waited, as she felt the faintness of her losing her consciousness sneak up.

***

Why am I here?

I remember feeling dizzy, I remember feeling tired. I must’ve passed out. Is this a dream? It was a little different from any dream I’ve had before. I’m surrounded by nothing by darkness, and the only thing I can see is a singular, large throne. It honestly look big enough to fit a giant, and the woman she could see upon it almost looked out of place. It kinda looks like a child sitting in their father’s chair…

This doesn’t feel like a dream. This definitely doesn’t feel like a dream. I step my feet forward, and take a closer look at the regal girl left on the throne. She seems to be sleeping. Her eyes are closed and she’s leaning over to one side, arms stretched out to let her hands rest on her armrests. Closer, closer, closer… oh. She’s breathing. She’s definitely alive. She kinda looks… really familiar.

Honestly, she looks a lot like me…

Her hair’s a lot darker, and her fashion sense is a lot… different. Were those robes ceremonial, or something? They look really fancy. Well, aside from how it was leaving her chest almost completely bare. Like, it kinda looks like her dress is about to fall off, and bare her chest, or something… with how much she looks like me, the thought is kinda embarrassing.

Her hair, too. Dark green and pulled into many braids. It’s not too much longer than mine, but it’s definitely a lot more tended to.

“Ah…”

Her eyes slowly open to reveal the dark-green irii underneath.

...she’s staring at me.

Or at least, she was. Because she quickly started yawning. Completely destroying any sort of intimidating presence she had built up. And from that yawn, she moved to simply rubbing her eyes.

“Good morning…”

Even her voice is mine.

“...Good morning.” There’s something really weird about responding to my own voice. Feels really silly…

“Mm? You can hear me? Finally, she always made it seem so easy.” The me-looking woman shifted about and leaned over to her side, balancing herself on one hand as her gaze remained entirely fixated on me. It’s honestly starting to get a little bit uncomfortable…. It feels so weird. I really don’t wanna keep looking eye to eye… geez, why does eye-contact have to be the polite thing to do? It always feels so awful. I have a lot of questions for her, but I can’t get any of them out of my mouth. Stuff like ‘who are you’ and ‘why am I here’ and ‘why do you look so much like me’ but instead, I’m just awkwardly motionless and untalking. I hope it isn’t upsetting her too much. “Do you know who I am?”

If you had asked me a few days ago, I probably wouldn’t have a response. But after what Tomas said, I guess there’s one thing that solidly comes to mind. “Sothis?” 

“I guess that’s not… entirely wrong. And it’d be a whole lot less confusing if you stuck to calling me that.” Huh? Am I missing something? “I’ve been with you for a long time, Byleth. A really long time. It’s been really lonely, but now I have you. I’ve just been watching, listening, and sleeping. For… ah, I think it’s almost been twenty years now?” As she spoke, ‘Sothis’ rose out of her chair. Floating with her feet inches above the ground.

Well, Sothis is the name of the Goddess, right? If the Goddess was actually speaking to her, and this wasn’t the most unique-feeling dream she’s ever had, her being able to float was probably the least surprising thing going on, right now. I just silently nod my head. I’m honestly too tired to be surprised, or shocked, or anything like that right now.

“I’m sorry about Father. I didn’t intend for that to happen.”

“You didn’t do anything…”

Sothis stepped- well, floated to the side, slowly circling around me. This getting a little weird, she was peering over every inch of my body.

“I guess. But I’m happy it happened, because you’re finally hearing my voice.” Please don’t say it like that, that kinda hurts. There’s nothing good about this happening. Don’t say you’re happy about something this damn awful. “I’ve been desperate to reach you, but now that I actually can, I don’t need to anymore.” she reached my front again and… argh. Please stop trying to make eye-contact, you’re making me feel guilty for looking away… “I wanted to give you a choice, like she did to me… but, well, you already picked correctly.”

For someone that looks like me, she’s surprisingly talkative. I kinda wanted to ask her to clarify, but she already seemed like she was about to continue explaining more. I’m not quite sure why I’m so at least listening to her, but I’m assuming her face is at least a part of it. After a few seconds of silence, she continued speaking.

“It’s a huge relief. If you hadn’t chosen Edelgard, this first meeting would’ve been a lot less pleasant.” Sothis started floating back to her throne, sitting back just as she had before. Was she seriously threatening her? Well, iit… doesn’t really matter now, does it? Apparently, she had done whatever made Sothis happy.

...huh. Edelgard is important enough to matter to the Goddess? That’s… something. But just a month with Edelgard was enough to show me that I want to spend more time with her. A lot more time. “I gave you your body, your strength, and your powers so we could stay by her side. Protect her in my stead.” As she finished speaking, I nod again. She hadn’t asked anything I wasn’t already planning on doing. 

So… “Why am I here?”

“Oh. I got lonely. I just haven’t talked to someone in forever. I’ll tell you when there’s something you need to do. You can go back and just rest now. I can feel how tired you are, this body of ours needs a lot of rest and care. A human body can barely handle the power of a Crest, let alone the power of a Goddess. If you overuse it, it might break. Take care of yourself, and take care of Edelgard."

Before I can ask another question, she reached her hand forward and I felt dizziness take me.

I only heard one more thing as everything faded.

"Please don't make me regret this. If I must, I'll just take back this body of mine."


	12. Chapter 12

Very little memories of my early teenage years remain. Those supposedly ‘wonderful’ years that are supposed to consist of a child ‘blooming’ into an adolescent left absolutely no mark on my heart. Even the vaguest hints of recollection were entirely formed of stories my remaining family had told me. According to them, I was a cute, innocent brunette with her hair always tied in two perfect pigtails. Whilst stern, I had an undeniably pure heart. I was the ideal princess, with no ambitions, perfect manners, and an effervescent smile.

Oh, what I would give, to return to the me that once existed. A me that could see the beauty in this ailing world. A me that had nothing to worry about, outside of how cute I may look on that particular day. I would be able to live my every day how I desired. After what I’ve seen, I simply cannot.

I can no longer close my eyes to this madness. If I smiled and feigned ignorance, I would be no different from the monsters that made me as I am now. Make no mistake— I have no qualms about becoming a ‘monster’. I will do absolutely anything to accomplish my goals. I will do absolutely everything to purge Fódlan of the systemic corruption that destroys it from within. I will bring forth a Fódlan—no, a world where nobody needs to suffer like I have.

My younger self thought it necessary to destroy my own humanity— because of the worthless inhibitions humanity brings. The almost three years I’ve now spent at Garreg Mach since have shown me how wrapped in delusion the very concept is. Now that I’m an adult, I know I cannot toss that part of myself aside. My nightmares and tears don’t slow me down— the pain I feel every day just forces me to keep moving forward, and help guide humanity down a better path.

—I still childishly wish for a path without bloodshed. I— Edelgard von Hresvelg— still dare hope a war would not be necessary to move Fódlan. I know it cannot be done. But I still hope for this miracle, every single day.

It must sound so unlike me to hold hope for something as factless as a miracle, but a miracle saved me once. Maybe this very same miracle— maybe she can save Fódlan, without turning the world red.

Or maybe, she can save Fódlan.

—without me needing to sacrifice the smile I finally found.

I’ve admired her since she first saved me. It was a memory I could never let go, even as I lay in hospice recovering from my wounds. To this very day, that memory is still so flawlessly vivid.

I was alone in my cell, in the midst of my night. I couldn’t see anything, bar a speck of moonlight that illuminated the wall next to me. A wall barren of anything but an old coating of my blood. It had already been there for several months. Almost as if left there to remind me of what would happen if I dare resist again.

My arms and legs were chained against the wall behind me, and a cotton ball had been wrapped around my tongue. I had tried to take my own life one too many times, and as their only successful and only remaining subject, I was too valuable to let die. I had long lost all hope of escape. I had already accepted that I would be there until the very day my life expired. I was only half-conscious— courtesy of whatever tranquilizer they constantly pumped through my veins— but I was shaken away by a sudden series of screams and yells and cries.

The room slowly started to brighten. Growing a little bit brighter with every clang of crashing metal I heard. It only took a handful of seconds for the spectacle to become visible. A single girl, wielding a serpentine blade, was effortlessly massacring through the tens— if not hundreds of people stationed there. I tried to yell for her, but all I could muster was throat-scraping coughs.

The girl didn’t even seem like she was fighting. She was simply slowly walking forward, as her splitting blade shredded everyone foolish enough to not drop their weapons and flee. My captors even unleashed several Crest Beasts— only to be banished by singular, incredibly precise cuts through their cores.

It wasn’t a dream or delusion.

Someone was here.

And I hoped she was here to save me. She was slowly moving towards my cell. Everyone, everything in her path had fallen. My saviour sheathed her sword, before blasting the cell door open with a quick blast of magic. I tried to thank her and ask her for help, but I couldn’t speak. My throat was too dry— no, the cotton ball was gagging me— no, I was simply so happy, I couldn’t summon any words.

I was just saved, by this youthful, expressionless girl. She quickly worked to undo my restraints, before pulling me straight into her arms. She held me like a princess. And pulled me tightly into her body. She shamelessly even dug her digits past my lips to undo my verbal restraint the moment she realized.

“Thank you.”

“What’s your name?”

“I’m— my name is El.”

“Okay, El.”

I can still recall the exact shade of her hair. The exact glow of her eyes. The exact tone of her voice. For she was a miracle. My miracle. I never had the strength to ask for her name, and I spent the next years of my life regretting this. She had saved my life, and I would never be able to repay her— or even just thank her once again.

I had given up all hope of ever meeting her again, until I came to Garreg Mach. For when I met Sir Eisner— from the very first story of his daughter he told, I knew it had to be her.

A young woman with green hair and green eyes, that took missions with an expressionless visage and slew her enemies with a serpentine blade. I grew almost obsessed with these stories and made him tell her every tale. Maybe he’d even recount the story of when Byleth saved me. He never did, but I still knew it had to be her. I was incredibly excited when he announced she would come to Garreg Mach.

I only had to look at her once, and I knew. It was the girl that saved me. The girl I had fallen for.

Byleth Eisner.

...even though she seems to hold no memory of me, and even if my rescue was just one of many, not eventful enough to draw a mark on her heart…

Byleth still— she still called me what I asked her to call me all those countless years ago.

‘El’

~~~

Hot, hot, hot…

Why is everything so hot. Why was her body so heavy. Why couldn’t she move. Why was this happening again? Was this what Sothis meant when she mentioned that her body could break? No, no way. This was a fairly recent thing, and while Byleth had been pushing herself the day before… well, she’d pushed herself way harder before today! This only started happening when she showed up at Garreg Mach. So it had to be something else! Well… probably.

...hopefully.

...this’ll just go away in a few minutes, right? She just had to bide her time, right?

…her body wasn’t actually breaking, right? From something like this? No, it couldn’t break. Her body couldn’t break. What was that even supposed to mean? Was she just going to fall apart and die? Or would her body stop obeying her, as it was now? No, no, it’s pointless to worry about. It was just a dream! A really weird dream! That didn’t feel like a dream at all, but it had to be a dream. It had to be, had to be…

“It wasn’t.”

Ah! If she could move, she’d probably be recoil so hard she’d fall out of her bed. Out of nowhere, the green-haired goddess that shared her face appeared above her. Kinda just.. Floating and staring eye-to-eye. It was extremely uncomfortable! Byleth tried to turn her head away, and after a few seconds, her body finally complied.

...um

...why was this happening again? Why was this stuff growing out of her arm again!? Byleth struggled to pull her arm away and out of whatever had enveloped her, but she couldn’t get her arms to budge, not even an inch. God, why was this so scary!? Byleth barely reacted when the red crystalline substance had grown out of her arm, but… well… it was green now. It not being the same colour as her blood made it a lot more ominous.

Plus, well, there was the uncomfortable warning Sothis had given her…

Was this what she meant by her body breaking!?

“No. this is the opposite. I’m trying to repair whatever’s wrong with our body. Please lay still and relax, okay?”

That was going to be difficult… so there really was something wrong with her body? Was was Sothis doing, anyway?

“Well… I guess you can call it one of the blessings of my Crest.”

Huh? Didn’t Hanneman say she didn’t have a Crest? Or that her body showed no signs of having a crest… or something like that? Was he lying to her? Wait, why?

“No, no. It’s… it’s quite complicated, and I don’t quite know if it’s worth the time to explain. If you need to know, you’ll figure it out on your own, someday.” That’s quite possibly the most annoying response someone could ever give! Byleth couldn’t move, and having an explanation of exactly what the hell is going on with her body would probably be nice! “Okay, I just don’t wanna.”

It…

It was something bad then, wasn’t it? This time, Sothis didn’t respond to her thoughts. So… it probably was. 

...There really was something wrong with her body, wasn’t there?

“...Done. You should be fine now. I’ll probably start preemptively doing this every night… so don’t worry if you see it. I’m just making sure you don’t fall apart.” With those words, the Goddess faded away into nothingness and the gem-like material on her body faded into ash with it. This… this isn’t a wonderful way to start a day…

Please don’t break, this body of mine. Please don’t break. The heat and numbness quickly started to fade, but her worries did not. Why. Just why? Byleth didn’t want to die. Byleth didn’t want her body to break…but… no. She had the Crest of the Goddess, right? Or something like that? Plus, Sothis was actively working on making sure she was okay! There’s no way she would break. No way. Absolutely no way.. Yesterday was the first time she’d ever really been injured in real combat! She was the strongest in Fódlan! There’s no way she’d just… that anything bad would happen to her, just because her body couldn’t handle it!

There’s just no way. There’s absolutely no way. Sothis must be lying, or messing with her. She didn’t even have a crest! Hanneman said so, and Sothis didn’t argue! Yeah! Its… its… it’s going to be a lot easier if she clung to that belief, as hard as she possibly could. There was no way she could break. No way. Just a liar, like her father. Just a liar…

All the weight had long left Byleth, but she still couldn’t move. She wanted to get up. She wanted to leave. She wanted to spend time with Edelgard… or, honestly, with anyone! Maybe her brother, maybe Rhea… anyone from her class bar the two uncomfortable guys… just. Just not her father. She’d rather be alone than spend another minute with him.

...things were so different than they had been just a month ago…

Just get up, Byleth, get up… after a few seconds of fighting her hesitation, Byleth finally got up, if only because of how unbearably sticky her clothes had gotten. Her bed wasn’t doing much better, either. Yuck. Um, maybe her fa-err… maybe absolutely anyone at all could help her get that laundry sorted… thankfully, all classes for the day had been cancelled. As the Black Eagles’ previous teacher was still missing, they didn’t quite have the personnel to replace Hanneman. Byleth had vaguely heard some rumbling about how one of the Knights of Seiros might temporarily replace Hanneman. But nothing had been finalized yet, and until it was…

Well

Byleth had been pretty out of it for pretty much the entire last day. Aside from the basic framework of her not having anything important to do, she really had no idea what the plan was. And… that kinda left her lost. Was she supposed to just, like, relax? After an event as tragic as this? And after she was told that there was something very wrong with her body, and that she needed to rest and take care of herself?

It.

Even though she had finally gotten her body to crawl out of her bed, her mind shut down once again. The confidence she had in knowing what to do kinda faded when there were no obstacles keeping her from getting up. Why was it giving her this much anxiety?! Why was it making her feel so bad? Why was it just making her want to lay back down again? No, you idiot, you already decided you wanted to spend time with your students! You just need to get up and take a shower, and then, and then…

The only thing her mind could really agree with was that she needed to wash herself, like, really bad. Considering how much she had just been sweating… um, yeah. It made her feel kinda nervous to be icky like this. She quickly got a change of clothes, safely put her mother’s ring back in the drawer, head off to the bathing area, and-

Oh.

She could take a bath. Ever since she got to Garreg Mach, she’d just been taking quick showers and rushing herself out of the door. But since she had nothing to do today, maybe she could… Byleth went to the Black Eagles’ section and poked her head into the women’s changing room. Nope, no clothes at all. Thankfully, no one seemed to be around. Byleth quickly tossed her old clothes onto the floor and neatly put her fresh clothes into a corner, before grabbing at a towel and dragging it with her. When she entered, she was smacked in the face with steam.... And, well, the sight of how insane the bathroom was.

Um, this was more like a swimming pool?

Aside from the bath itself, Byleth could see a pair of deeper, round bathes in the back. They even had a little staircase to actually get into them. The main bath itself was split in the middle by a large, screen door, probably dividing men’s and women’s baths. It seemed thin enough to let people talk, without leaving anything visible to the other side. A rope ran across the screen door, hanging free on the very edge of the bathtub. Was that to open the two bathes up to each other?

...why would anyone ever want that?

Byleth shook her head and neatly put her towel on the very edge of the bath, dipping her toes in to check the temperature, before immediately lowering her entire body in. Laying herself down. Closing her eyes. And just.

Soaking.

...okay, if she could just be in here for the entire day, Byleth could probably figure out how to relax. There was something really soothing about hot water. It kinda let her turn her brain off in a way nothing else could. It didn’t take too long for Byleth to relax and basically just stop thinking… well, she thought it wasn’t too long. She honestly had no idea how much time was passing, because of how the calmth of not doing anything was just… well, it wasn’t like she was passing out per-se. But every now and then Byleth found her mind awake enough to realize she had been daydreaming.

Until Byleth heard a door click. She suddenly sat herself up and pulled her knees to her chest, turning her head around and cautiously glaring at whoever had planned to enter… oh. Dorothea entered first, dragging a whining Bernadetta in by her arm. Petra followed soon after. Bernadetta and Petra were both wearing a towel, while Dorothea was kinda just clutching one to her front while leading Bernadetta along.

“Oh, morning, Professor!” Dorothea pointed both Petra and Bernadetta towards one of the baths in the back, whilst Dorothea herself just sat down next to Byleth, legs dipped into the water but the rest of her body dry.

...seeing it was just them kinda relieved Byleth… wait, just them? Who else was she expecting? Urgh, it must just be the stress getting to her…

“Wanna join us in the hot tubs? It’s a lot easier to talk when we’re sitting side by side- and look! I even managed to convince our little Bernie to join us! C’mon, Professor.” Ah, wait, wait, wait. The what? The who? The when? ‘Bernie’ who? Like, did she mean like a pet or something…? Um, there didn’t seem to be anyone else- or even anything else here. The puzzled Byleth silently stared at Dorothea, but she quickly managed to banish all thoughts with a quick ‘Oh, Edie’s coming soon, too~ It took a whole lot of convincing, but she’ll be over in about… oh, thirty minutes.” She what? Um, err, no? There’s already so many people here, and being around Edelgard would be really embarrassing and and and… Dorothea just started giggling, gently reaching one of her hands out and keeping it a safe distance away from Byleth. Far enough to not lead to another panicked reaction, at least. “Oh, Professor, how I wish I could show you your own face right now…” W-wait, what are you talking about now?

Dorothea really always knew just how to tease Byleth. Half of the time, she herself didn’t quite understand why it felt so weird to be around Dorothea when she was like this, but… okay, look. It wasn’t like it was an UNPLEASANT feeling. But Dorothea always managed to quickly make her feel all squirmy and flustered within seconds. Byleth grumbled a little, before grabbing at her towel and slowly pulling herself out of the bath. Dorothea kept her hand extended, and her eyes locked on Byleth. She always was really insistent on being helpful with these kinda things, but… g-gosh, why are you staring that much? You’re being a bit more intense than usual, and…

...oh right.

Byleth was bathing.

She was kinda… naked. She flinched, yelped, turned around, and held her towel between herself and Dorothea, promptly sparking another laugh from the brunette. “You’re dangerously adorable, Professor.” Dorothea quickly quipped before heading off herself, hopping into said ‘hot tub’ and waving at Byleth to make sure she followed. She did, after a quick moment to regain her breath. Byleth wasn’t quite sure why, but she felt like she wanted to be in the presence of her students. Even if Dorothea always managed to embarrass her, she heavily preferred that feeling over… you know, feeling bad in general. She walked over, put her towel away, hopped in like Dorothea did, and…

...well

They kinda started talking.

Dorothea mentioned something about Bernie again, and Bernadetta reacted… oh. Yeah, that’s right. Dorothea had a thing for calling for calling people nicknames that ended in -ie. She did it to Edelgard, too.

...maybe if they got closer, Dorothea would give her a nickname, too?

Byleth wasn’t sure why, but the thought definitely seemed pleasant…

Byleth was soon dragged into the conversation, too. Dorothea asked her how she felt (bad), how she slept (terribly), if she managed to get some of it out by talking to anyone yet (just her father) and how it went (terribly). Then, the conversation just kinda… stopped. Dorothea redirected the conversation to Bernadetta and Petra, and those three started talking between each other instead. Wait, did she do something wrong? Um, talking is a little difficult, but I’m right here… please include me…

...the pain of exclusion was quickly cut short, though, as the door opened again.

And this time, Edelgard stepped in.

...wearing… um…

Well, she wasn’t naked. She was wearing some sort of tight black swimsuit, reaching from down to her ankles and up to her wrists. Everything short of her hands, her feet, and her face was covered.

...was she okay?

Come to think of it, Edelgard had also made a habit of using exclusively the private shower. And considering that out of the entire school, there were only like three people that ever used it… well, it kinda stood out? Byleth did it out of awkwardness, was Edelgard the same? Or was there something else? Especially since she was… you know… it looked like she wasn’t even going to bathe naked?

“Stop drooling, Professor. Bad girl. Heel.”

“I- huh? What?”

Byleth quickly turned herself back to Dorothea, quickly wiping her face. Nope, no drool at all. What was she talking about? Why was she laughing again? Did she do something funny? Something… dumb? Whatever it was, it kinda made Byleth worry. Worry that faded again seconds later, when Edelgard stepped into the bath. She sat herself right next to Byleth. And because, well, the tub kinda seemed like it was at capacity… Edelgard was sitting close to Byleth. Like, really close. Like! Close enough so that if she shuffled herself around a little,, she’d be able to touch Edelgard’s thigh. Oh god, she didn’t even need to move on purpose. Like, Involuntary movement would be enough to just make her touch her. Maybe she should pull her hand away… no, wait, would that be suspicious?

Like… Byleth was really uncomfortable with physical contact! In general! If she yanked herself away, she’d reaffirm that, right? But she’s so… um… she’s in between two cute girls… she felt so touch starved… she didn’t want to send the wrong message! She wouldn’t like, mind at all… if Dorothea or Edelgard leaned into her a little. Maybe even hugged her a little! She was sitting between the two students she had become closest to during her time at Garreg Mach… argh. No! What’s wrong with you, Byleth… if you suddenly touched them or hugged them they’d probably hate you.

“Professor?”

Dorothea called for her attention, but Byleth couldn’t stop herself from just staring straight down into the midst of the water, again paralyzed by trying to figure out what the heck she should be doing. Talk? Ask for affection? Would that be weird? Should she just lean back and rest while enjoying their presence? OR should she- uh…

“Don’t push her. Her brother informed me she had a little… falling out with her father. Along with everything else that happened yesterday, she’s just exhausted.”

Huh? Wait? He what? When? He could barely walk, when did he...Nn, he did get severely injured saving Edelgard. If he went back to the infirmary, she had probably visited him to talk about what he did. She probably wanted to thank him, and.. Dammit, why couldn’t Edelgard visit her to ask her if she was doing okay and stuff like that…maybe she hugged him, too.. Like Rhea had, and… would she tear up? Maybe? Was Edelgard close to Byrett? Since she always talked about Byleth with Jeralt, just maybe…

Argh, whatever!

Byleth slumped herself backwards onto the very edge of the pool, before sloowly letting herself lean towards Edelgard. When she noticed her not leaning away, she pressed herself in, shoulder to shoulder. God, she could smell her hair. She smelled so nice. Her face was so pretty. Her eyes were so pretty… Edelgard had turned slightly to look at Byleth, but she didn’t say anything bad… and she still hadn’t pulled herself away.

...nn, more.

After a few seconds of just touching into her, Byleth turned around and just grabbed at her, cuddling her into her body. After a few seconds of remaining motionless, Edelgard wrapped back around her, too, and they were quickly locked in mutual embrace. This felt really nice, really warm… and really safe.

“I’m sorry, El…”

“Huh?” Edelgard finally reacted when Byleth spoke up. “No, it’s alright. What’s the matter?”

“I think… I don’t know.”

Byleth felt just a little less scared. Just a little less fragile. While holding onto someone like this. This was probably the part where a ‘normal’ person would cry, but Byleth felt too exhausted from her emotions alone. If she could’ve cried, she would’ve done so yesterday. Or the first time her father abandoned her, for months on end. What an idiot she was, believing him whenever he said he was just working on ‘important missions’. When he was just. Here. Probably sleeping with Rhea and playing with Byrett. How long had it been? How long had it been!? She was still a child. She was still like… ten, at most! She couldn’t fend for herself. She was left without food or money. All she could do was use the ‘divine body’ granted to her by Sothis… and work alone. Was… was that the first time she ever assassinated someone?

...Byleth couldn’t even remember how it felt. She couldn’t even remember the face of the crying child she left behind.

...it could have been one of her students… how would she remember?

“I need you… all of you...after what Father- after what Jeralt…he always just told me he was working important missions, you know. He never told me… anything...”

What if she had just been allowed to stay here? What if she was just… grew up with her family? Her father would’ve been around every day. She’d have had a mother, a brother. A family. She would’ve met Edelgard three years ago! Everything… everything would’ve just been better if Jeralt cared for her… if she didn’t have to be alone.

“We won’t leave you, Professor.”

Dorothea actually snuck in to join in the hug. Thank you. While Petra and Bernadetta stayed a little bit away, they both mumbled something similar.

Was there. Was there any worth to her life before today? Any point? Any purpose? Was all she did… was all she did simply make people as miserable as she made the Golden Deer the day before? She had killed so many people. So so so so SO many people. Byleth wanted to scream about it, but her dry throat couldn’t quite parse it. She wanted to yell about how awful her father was. How awful everything felt. How tired she was. But most importantly.

She wanted to talk about what Sothis had told her.

...about how her body was breaking apart. About how something was wrong with her…

...was she going to die?

Die. And die as a person that only brought tears to people’s faces? 

And die… without protecting Edelgard? Protecting her from whatever Sothis had fated her to protect her from?

Human life had a lot of worth, didn’t it?

And all she was. Was someone that ended countless lives.


	13. Chapter 13

‘Please don’t let me go.’

Byleth wished she could get those words past her lips. This was all she needed. This was all she wanted. To have the people closest to her firmly locking her in their arms. She wanted them to hold her so tightly that she wouldn’t even be able to run away if she got scared or frustrated. She wanted to be held like this, and to have any and all anxious thoughts denied until they would simply go away.

Was this how a hug was supposed to feel? Was this how Byrett felt when Rhea held him? This feeling of safety? This tickle of warmth? This pleasant sort of exhaustion? When /those/ kind of people held her, she couldn’t ever feel anything other than boiling repulsion, but this? It was the same physical act, but it really was so completely different.

...mostly the same physical act, Edelgard wasn’t trying to ‘feel her up’.

Byleth really couldn’t even feel any lust- Okay, no, well, maybe a little. She WAS naked and being held by two beautiful girls, after all. One of them was even the girl she had feelings for! It was natural for her body to feel a little of that sort of bubbly excitement! But… it was really tame. She could just feel a little droplet of arousal in this hopefully unending bathborne embrace. Byleth didn’t even feel any embarrassment, even though she was naked and drowning in the touch of these two beautiful girls. Even though this might somewhat be kinda partially a little similar to something she had fantasized about. 

“I love you two…” her mouth kinda spoke without her brain putting any thought behind it. She did really mean it, though! Beyond any sort of other feelings she might’ve had for Edelgard, her students, they… was this what she felt? This was love, right? But similar to the kind she felt for her father, if not a little different? Without letting go of Edelgard, Byleth pulled herself back just a slight bit, looking over to Bernadetta and Petra “...you two, too. My whole class… thank you.” No doubt, that’s what these feelings meant. What her very own, genuine feelings meant. Definitely, definitely, so very definitely.

“Oh, huh. I thought you were going for a really interesting confession there…”

Er?

“Confessing your love, to two of your students at the same time? I understand having feelings for just one of us, no matter how complicated that might get, but…”

Wait, you what? N-no! That’s not what she was doing! P-Please, Dorothea, not now… I’m serious…

“Dorothea…” Edelgard cut her short, before she could say anything else that might end up being hurtful. Being teased was okay and all, but, during a moment like this… s-she was really serious! Edelgard pulled back from their embrace, which was really sad, but, um… well, Edelgard pulled away, which meant Byleth could actually look at her face and see a really cute smile. It… um… well… Byleth probably had something else to say, but she couldn’t really, uh. That… smile… well…

“You have been a wonderful Professor to all of us, and I’m truly honoured that I can call you my teacher.”

...aahh…

That’s right, she isn’t alone if she’s without her father. She isn’t even alone without Edelgard! Her class… she had spent every single day with them, ever since she met them. They were probably more like her family than her father had ever been, and ever will be! Ever…

“P-Professor… um… you know… err…”

Byleth looked over at the stuttering Bernadetta. She was looking straight down into the water. Her face seemed a little red. Was she okay? She, um…

“Professor, I think Bernie’s trying to say she wants a hug, too.”

Eh?

“Y...yes… something like that…” with Edelgard and Dorothea already pulled away, there was really nothing stopping Bernadetta from doing the same! But… um. No, it’s okay. Bernadetta was one of her wonderful students, too. Byleth nodded her head in approval, and Bernadetta suddenly just launched herself straight at Byleth.

“Waaah! Professor… professor… me too… bad father… I-I thought you were really scary, but you’re… a little like me, and…” Byleth caught the projectile girl, and pulled her straight into her lap. Um, no, please don’t cry? She really didn’t want any of her friends to cry… but Byleth also really had no idea, at all, what to do. She just wrapped one of her arms around Bernadetta and held her, tight. Bernadetta squeezed back, with about as much force as she seemed to be able to muster. Which… wasn’t much, honestly. It did feel really nice, though! Like… just looking down at Bernadetta’s face? Looking at her obviously sullen, tearful expression and quickly seeing those drops come to an end? Byleth moved one of her hands up, gently placing it on Bernadetta’s head and patting away. It was one of the few forms of affection her father was willing to give her, and… it did always help. She really didn’t want to take her father as an example of what to do to someone you care about, but…

“Professor… Professor…”

It seemed to help Bernadetta, even if just a little.

~~~

One by one, the girls left the bath. First, Edelgard. She said she had something important to do. Then Petra, then Dorothea… and then Bernadetta mumbled something about it being weird if it’s just the two of them, so she left too. Byleth herself stuck around for just a few moments longer, but it quickly just started feeling incredibly awkward. After spending so much personal time with her friends, it just didn’t feel right to stick around alone.

...but then again, when Byleth got herself out and dressed, she again found herself with no idea of what she should actually be doing now.... It’d be bad if she just went back to talking with those in her class, right? Um, Byleth knew that getting too ‘clingy’ was often seen as a bad thing, so she didn’t want to bother them. Maybe… there was some work to do? Maybe Manuela knew what she should be doing? Um, well… outright asking someone for what she should be doing was probably a bad thing, with how busy everyone was. That’d just be bothering people, too. She could… uh…

Byleth soon just found herself wandering around the academy. Maybe she should just go read and study again? She could use this as an opportunity to catch up on whatever the heck she needed to be teaching after everything returned to normal! She should probably be taking notes of what happened yesterday and what her students did right and what they did wrong while it was still lodged fresh in her mind.

“Oh, Professor. You don’t have anything important to do, right? I need your help sorting out some of Hanneman’s research.”

Only to be stopped with Linhardt. He didn’t even wait for an answer before shoving a huge pile of notes, papers and books into her arms. Without saying anything more, he just kinda left, too. Was she supposed to follow him? Well, he was just going back to Hanneman’s office, so if she was doing the wrong thing, he’d be able to tell her what exactly she should be doing…

“Please put all of that over there, and sort everything alphabetically. If it’s related to anyone at Garreg Mach, please sort it over here.” Linhardt said, pointing at Hanneman’s desk. It was probably the only organized thing in the room, because documents kinda just seemed to be scattered randomly. “If it’s about anything else, just leave it on the ground labeled by subject. I’ll be looking for any more of his research in the library.” and he just… kinda left. Um, okay… um… Byleth moved over to Hanneman’s desk and left all of it on his chair. Slowly sorting through everything and doing her best to do what Linhardt said. First, she sorted out everything that wasn’t related to current events, and then tried to figure out where it was supposed to go. She quickly realized that Linhardt had organized whatever was on the floor.

It was just that everything not directly related to Crests was just haphazardly tossed about. Byleth very carefully put everything off-topic in a corner of Hanneman’s office to not further create chaos, while she worked on sorting the rest. She couldn’t help but read through some of the reports that passed by her. Apparently, Lysithea and Edelgard had ‘anomalous results’ that pointed at something that had ‘inconclusive evidence’. His research indicated that the pair of them had two Crests, and while this should be impossible, ‘the readings leave little to the imagination’. The ‘secondary’ Crests, however, could not exactly be identified. Everything else Byleth read through was just really complicated language to explain stuff that she already knew. Everything was listed as public information, too, aside from the information on the aberrant students. Byleth went from detailed reading to just quickly skimming over, before finally landing on the two most interesting documents. Her own, her father’s, and her brother’s.

While Byrett and Byleth had a small folder, Jeralt only had a single piece of paper. ‘Sir Eisner has refused to assist in our research’. Whatever. She quickly tossed it aside, before opening her brother’s folder. He had a ‘very rare Crest’, the Crest of Flames. Apparently, it was said to belong to the Goddess, Sothis.

Huh.

As Byleth read through the rest, though, she didn’t really find much more information. His crest was ‘incredibly pure and potent’, and it basically listed a bunch of names that meant pretty much nothing to Byleth. Apparently, his Crest tied him to the ‘Sword of the Creator’, and all research indicates that ‘he is the only living person currently possessing this Crest’. The rest was, uh, a bunch of really detailed information that would probably mean a lot to someone that knew what any of these words or numbers meant. While Byleth did her best to parse it, she kinda gave up about halfway through and gently put it on top of the desk.

Okay, now for the most interesting part… when Byleth opened her own folder, she was greeted by a lot less information than pretty much anyone else. That’s probably to be expected, right? Everyone else had been around for several years, while Byleth had just been here for a month. After taking a deep breath, she pulled out the first document, and-

‘Sir Eisner has asked me to keep this information from his daughter, for her sake.’

‘Ms. Eisner has a Crest I have never seen before. Even after studying countless records, it seems like no information exists regarding this mysterious Crest.’

‘It appears to share many similarities with the Crest of Flames. But comparing her results to her brother’s yields some interesting results.’

‘As such, there are too many anomalies to conclude that this Crest is, in fact, the Crest of Flames.’

‘But the most interesting result is the purity of the Crest. Even a major Crest often contains many imperfections and is tainted by the very blood of those who bear it, but Ms. Eisner’s Crest seems to be complete and perfect. Even Mr. Eisner’s Crest holds some imperfections, as minor as they may be.’

‘Ms. Eisner seems to be the source of an entirely new, undiscovered Crest.’

There was a lot more written on that first piece of paper, but those were the most important highlights. Why… did her father not want her to know this? This all seems to be fairly harmless. Byleth pulled the second piece of paper out, and continued her reading.

‘Further investigations confirm my earlier suspicions. It is indeed new, and it is indeed pure. But the more I find, the more impossible this entire situation appears to be.’

‘It is almost as if she isn’t human.’

‘It is almost as if she, herself, is a Crest.’


	14. Chapter 14

‘Almost’ as if.

That meant she was still human, right? That meant she couldn’t be a Crest? A living Crest? Wait, if she was a Crest, was she even alive? Was… was this what Sothis meant when she said she gave her this body? That it isn’t real? And that it’s just a… physical crest, somehow?

No, no. No. Don’t. Don’t… think like that.

Byleth, if you start accepting that you might be a Crest- that means you’re accepting that you aren’t human. You are human. You are human. You. ARE. Human! You’re human, Byleth. Human. Human. H-U-M-A-N. You aren’t anything other than human! See, if Hanneman got to continue his research for just a little bit longer, he’d see it, too! She just… she just had a really pure Crest! That makes sense, right? With how the Goddess herself seems to be living in her head? If this Crest originates from the Goddess, it’d make sense it’d be a little stronger in her body! Yeah!! And her brother has a similar Crest because she’s her brother! That makes a lot of sense! Yeah!!

Byleth stared at the document for a few more seconds, before putting her hands on opposite halves and tearing it in two. Tear, tear, tear, tear, before pocketing the scraps and remains. Linhardt had a knack for researching Crests, right? He could probably continue Hanneman’s research… without this stupid, impossible, insane conclusion already written out! It’s simply not true! Because, obviously, I’m nothing less than human. I’m definitely human. I’m unarguably human. I’m human.

I’m a human. Born from two humans. In a human body. With a human soul! I’m not an object! I’m human. I’m human. I’m human! My mother was a human. My father is a human. My brother is a human. Why would I be different? Look at me. Look at me! There’s no way I would be anything but human, right!? I look like a human, talk like a human… I’m not some sort of monster! I’m not some sort of demon! I’m human. I’m nothing but human.

“I’m human…”

Byleth could only emptily stare at the one document that remained. Should she rip that, too? It implied that there was something wrong with her. It could lead people to believe weird things. Yeah. Maybe it’d be better if she got rid of this, too. Just rip it apart. Tear it apart. Burn it. Burn it!

Before she could, though, it was snatched out of her hands. Just was about to grab it back and tear it apart, but she quickly noticed it was just her crest-driven student. He looked at it for a moment, then put it back on the pile. “Guess you’re not any less interesting than your brother. Professor… where’s the rest?” Byleth quickly shook her head in response. She didn’t want to say anything, because she knew she’d probably look guilty. After staring at her for what felt like far too long, Linhardt sighed and responded with a tired “Guess your father took it, since there’s clearly something he doesn’t want you to know.” Ahaha. Yeah. Let’s just go with that. Jeralt took it.

...okay this was starting to get awkward. She was just sitting there, and he was just standing there. Quietly.

Umm…

“...Are you just going to sit there? If you’re not going to help, please leave.” Oh thank god. Byleth took that excuse to get the heck up and out. 

...she probably shouldn’t have read any of that… Ngh. She couldn’t just… unread any of this. She didn’t need to know… all of this. This just. This just this just. This really just…

...I’m human. I’m a human being… right? Right, Sothis? Right!?

There was no response. Even quietly whimpering out “Sothis?” didn’t do anything. She was alone in her head, even though she really needed help from the Goddess that dreamed inside of her. But… that’s alright. She’d been alone in her mind until now, she should be fine! Nothing had actually changed! Nothing about her had changed since the day before! She just learned something new- new and obviously incorrect.

Seriously, though. Sothis? Could you please tell me how wrong Hanneman’s research is?

No?

Nothing?

Whatever…

~~~

Thankfully, Byleth’s idling life was soon swallowed by meeting after meeting. While they were far from what she could call pleasant, they kept her active enough to stop her mind from wandering to any uncomfortable places. The first day of meetings didn’t even have anything to do with teaching. They were dedicated to Hanneman’s research, who should continue it, and how it should be preserved. Hanneman was a foremost expert on Crests, and his research has and could lead to even more important discoveries. They spent a lot of time talking about some random names Byleth had never heard before. When they finally asked her for her opinion, all she could really do was shrug and suggest Linhardt, especially ‘cause he’s already going through all of Hanneman’s research, anyway.

While they were initially dismissive, Rhea mentioned that he was definitely an option. He was notably intelligent and extremely studious, and the only real problems brought forward were Linhardt’s age and lack of experience. Rhea mentioned something about wanting to talk to him, though, so that’s good! Linhardt was really passionate about stuff related to Crests, and it’d probably make him happy to officially be spending all of his time working with Crests, rather than having it just be a very distracting hobby!

The second day was more directly related to teaching, specifically who to appoint to substitute Hanneman. They mentioned the sudden departure of the former teacher of the Black Eagles, some guy named Jeritza, and how it’d probably fall on one of the Knights of Seiros to temporarily replace Hanneman until they can find a full replacement. After a long bout of discussion, they concluded that Jeralt was the most fitting replacement. Not only did he already know the students, he had experience training Leonie. He accepted the position, but with some stipulations; he would not train the students in combat. He was willing to help with theory and general knowledge and everything, but he refused to take the reigns on anything else. To that end, he shared his job with Shamir, who was to train them all in combat. Shamir objected, but she accepted it as a personal request from Rhea herself.

On the third day, they decided that Garreg Mach’s lessons would resume at the start of next week. Byrett also suggested they hold some combined lessons for the three classes, to help relieve the students’ growing enmity towards one another. Tensions had apparently risen since Hanneman’s death, especially with how ‘lackadaisical’ Edelgard was about taking Hanneman’s life. They also talked about the students that didn’t belong to the three main classes and how they should handle that… which was all sorts of stuff that kinda went over Byleth’s head. Sure, she knew that there were a lot more students here than the twenty-four that she, her brother, and now her father taught, but she never really… thought about it? Who was teaching them, anyway? 

...the fourth day was a lot more troubling. First, Rhea made sure to inform everyone relevant that security around Garreg Mach was to be significantly increased, and that everyone was required to report any suspicious behaviour. If someone as long-loyal as Tomas could betray them, that meant pretty much anyone could be a traitor. She swore that she trusted every single person here, but that she couldn’t risk putting even one more person at risk. It almost felt like today was going to be a breather after the last few hectic days, but Byleth was quickly proven wrong. Rhea dismissed everyone- everyone besides her ‘direct family’. Byleth took this chance to leave, but Rhea called her back because, apparently, she was included in that… that thought left Byleth feeling kinda fuzzy. But, uh, any pretense of pleasantry had left with everyone else.

Because the first thing to come out of Rhea’s mouth was…

...that the three representatives of the individual houses were in grave danger. Dimitri was in danger. Claude was in danger. And worst of all…

...Edelgard was in danger, too…

Tomas told his underling to attack Edelgard. And when the three house leaders were dispatched to pick up Jeralt and Byleth under Alois’ watchful eyes, they were attacked, too. Byleth hadn’t really thought about it much, but Jeralt quickly mentioned that no regular company of bandits would be stupid enough to strike directly at the headquarters of the Jeralt Mercenaries. Sure, they had probably been stalking the entourage for far before they actually struck, but ‘who would be foolish enough to strike where they know death awaits’? It could’ve been a coincidence, sure! But… well…

...one of the bandits was in the process of turning into a Crest Beast, like how Tomas had done to Hanneman. The catalysts required to force a human being to undergo such a horrid transformation weren’t exactly something anyone could simply attain. There was only one organization vile enough to force humans to undergo such experiments, and there was only one organization whose roots ran deep enough for them to actually attain what they required.

They had no name, but they were a known force of evil for as long as history told. They were those that slithered in the dark. They were the darkness hiding in every shadow. They were evil. Pure evil. And they, for whatever reason… wanted those students dead. The teachers were to discuss it with the house leaders and no one else. If only to avoid causing panic.

While the three house leaders should be reasonably safe within the borders of Garreg Mach, Jeralt or Byleth (or Byrett, when he fully recovers) were to escort the house leaders, and let them not leave their watchful eye for even a fraction of a second. Because that would be all they need, to take their lives. None of the students were strong enough to even hold off a Crest Beast, and even among those of the Knights of Seiros, very few could stop one. They were the only ones that would reliably be able to stop, and they were definitely the only ones that would be able to put them down.

And, well…

Crest Beasts required a human sacrifice to be born.

As soon as someone becomes a Crest Beast, no mere human could ever wish to save them. The only thing they could do was end their suffering and to grant them swift and instant death.

No matter who it is, they must be slain. They must be killed. There is no saving them.

No matter who.

..no matter who.

Would… Byleth have to kill someone she knows, again? Would she be forced to again witness the tears of those close to them?

Were they going to yell at her again?

...were they going to tell her to just go and die again?

Were they going to… hate her? People that were, or people that could’ve been her friends? What… what if it happened to Dorothea? Bernadetta? Petra? What if it somehow happened to Edelgard? Would she have to put them out of their suffering, too? 

It… no. No.

There’s no use worrying about things that will not happen. There’s no point thinking about impossible results. Nothing will happen to them. Nothing bad will happen to any of her students. Nothing at all. Not to them. Not to Hubert. Not to Caspar. Not to Ferdinand. Not to any of her students.

No, not just any of her students.

Nothing like this was going to happen, to anyone at Garreg Mach.

So what if she wasn’t human!? So what, if she was just a ‘living Crest’!? So what if she really was the Ashen Demon people swore she was!?

...and

...if she really was a demon?

No mere human could ever wish to save someone that had been corrupted, but... she was the all-powerful Ashen Demon. In a body built and blessed by the Goddess herself.She could do it. She could find a way. She had to find a way!

...because if this happened to any of her students?

There’s no way she would be able to kill them. So she’d just have to save them.

~~~

Life at Garreg Mach soon returned to normal. After a few more days of rest, Byleth’s life as a teacher continued. She hadn’t been able to get in contact with Sothis again, and Byleth reluctantly took her silence as confirmation. It still kind of hurt. Byleth tried her absolute hardest to convince herself that nothing had changed or that it didn’t matter. Even repeating her earlier thoughts to herself did little to help, because, well… dammit, she just didn’t want to be different. She was just like everyone else here! She… wanted to just be like everyone else.

Because what would anyone think of her, if they realized she wasn’t a human being like they were? People feared and hated the abnormal, and Byleth was very definitely abnormal… no. You’re still you, Byleth. It doesn’t matter.

Hanneman was the only one that knew.

...and he’s dead now, and she destroyed what was hopefully the only remnant of his research.

It just meant… that she had to lie to the people she loved.

...urgh. Couldn’t she just forget about everything she had learned? Couldn’t she just slam her wall into the head over and over and over, until the part of her brain that held these memories just kinda broke?

It… it wasn’t great. But over the course of a month, Byleth slowly just started to… accept it. Kinda. Begrudgingly, and if only because she felt like she had no choice. If Sothis wasn’t going to tell her how wrong she was, well… there was nothing else she could really do. Her sour mood did lead to her procrastinating on some very important problems, though. She had something incredibly important she had been told to discuss with Edelgard. Something that concerned her safety!

...it took her a couple of weeks to get back to that. She just. Couldn’t. Lock herself in a private conversation with Edelgard until her emotions calmed down a little. She HAD tried a few times, of course. But after the third times her emotions spiked so hard she could feel her stomach twist, she put it off for as long as she could. She probably looked like a huge idiot, loudly calling for Edelgard’s attention and then just going all like ‘Nothing’ and turning herself away… urgh. About two and a half weeks after her meeting with Rhea, she finally managed to get her wits together enough to speak to her.

“Um, El- Edelgard… I need to talk to you about something really important. Could you stay after class?”

Dorothea giggled, and the rest of the class started mumbling loudly for some reason. A few minutes later, class was over, and Dorothea helpfully rushed all of the students out of the classroom. It wasn’t THAT much of an emergency, but thank you, Dorothea… that did make it a lot easier. It wasn’t something anyone else was supposed to hear. She didn’t want everyone to just .start worrying about Edelgard!

“What is it, my teacher?”

Ah. Ah! Oh no, Ah. She… ah...um. Yeah. T-That’s me. Her teacher… ahnn… for some reason, hearing Edelgard said that made her body feel all funny. Like, good funny. It made her feel a little dizzy. Oh, god, no, she was giggling. Byleth couldn’t stop herself from giggling. All while Edelgard was standing there. Arms crossed. Ahh, she must be getting impatient.. .Byleth, you idiot! Stop giggling! Focus. Focus. Focus. Breathe… this is a serious matter.

“I, um… you, I… you know…”

“Yes.”

Wait, what? Did she just- what did you just. Um. What. Err. Byleth pulled her eyes up to Edelgard’s face and she was smiling. Oh god, she was happy. Did she do something right? Or? No? Oh she had to be she really seemed happy! She’s smiling so cutely. Byleth pulled her hand in front of her mouth in a feeble attempt to hide her idiotically wide grin.

“W-What?”

“Huh? What?”

And suddenly they went quiet, and it got really, really awkward. Edelgard sighed and put her hand on her side, before quickly shaking her head.

“Did I misunderstand what you were about to say, Professor?”

No, go back to saying ‘my teacher’! That made her feel really warm!

“Umm… s-sorry?” Byleth didn’t quite know what was going on, but she definitely did something wrong. “I just, um…” Come on, pull yourself together! Deep breath. Deep breath. Deep breath. This is not an embarrassing thing. This is an incredibly important, awful thing. “You’re… in danger. Some sort of evil organization is after you, Dimitri and Claude.” there was a lot more that she was supposed to say, but she already felt like she runied enough things.

Edelgard responded with a mere sigh. “Is that all?”

“Um? Yes… sorry? Rhea told me I needed to stay by your side at all time, if you were to ever leave Garreg Mach. Because they’re extremely dangerous, and, um…”

“I… know, Professor. I have known since before I came to Garreg Mach. Even if I hadn’t, recent events would’ve been more than enough for me to piece this together.”

Ahh. She wasn’t treating Edelgard badly, right? Of course she’d know something like this! She’s explaining something to her that she already know, is she treating her like an idiot? Ahh, no, Edelgard isn’t an idiot… El’s extremely smart! It’s, um… No. She did something bad. Bad. Bad. Bad! You aren’t supposed to do bad things to the girl you love, you idiot! She’ll hate you if you do that! Was she frustrated? Ahh, no, what did you do, you idiot… Byleth got up out of her chair, and had to resist the reflexive urge to run. Ah, no, she couldn’t… Byleth stepped away, and did her best to escape and-

O-Ow… ah. She was suddenly stopped in her tracks and yanked back. Owowow. Edelgard had latched her fingers around the necklace-tie that connected to her collar, and for a moment, it felt like she was being choked. Normally,something like this wouldn’t even phase her, but as she turned back…

Edelgard was holding her by her tie. One hand on her hip. The other half pulling her upper half forward.

“You’re hopeless, my teacher.”

“...call me that more…” That was supposed to be a thought, but Byleth awkwardly flubbed and whispered it out.

“I never saw myself as one to make the first move, but if you continue to stall, I will.”

Ahh… she was so close… she smells nice…

“My teacher?”

Edelgard just called her that again. Again… ahh… Please, more. I love you… she was smiling, too! So pretty, so pretty. Why was she so mesmerizing? Why was she making her feel so soft? She was being so strong and dominating and honestly it made her want to shrink up happily and obediently. God, no, this was supposed to be something serious. She was just talking about how much danger Edelgard could be in, but she felt completely reduced to being a hopeless little kitten just thirsty for affection and scritchies… actually, w-would Edelgard be willing to do that? Just reach behind her ear and scritch away at her? Treat her like a little kitten and give her attention? And affection and love and and and… she was even starting to hum out in need… please… affection. Attention. Touch. Love. Please… I love you so much… Byleth actually tried to mutter those words out, but she felt far too happy to do anything but purr. She kinda wanted to shuffle in, but, ahh...

Edelgard, eventually, let go of Byleth, and her senses slowly returned to normal. She stood herself upright, and while her legs were still wobbly, she was at least not ready to fall over. Edelgard was still smiling, though… she seemed happy. Was she happy, too? She looked happy… happy.

“I… um… I… feelings…” but before Byleth could say any more than that, Edelgard’s gloved finger pressed up against her lips. Before Byleth could go soft again, though, Edelgard pulled her hand away.

“No more, my teacher. I’ve waited for this moment for over five years. I want to hear these words from a more coherent you. I’ll give you two weeks to prepare your confession, and then I’ll hear your words.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY FOR REPOSTING I ACCIDENTALLY MADE A WHOOPSIE AND REPLACED THIS WITH THE -NEXT- CHAPTER HJADSFHJDSF THIS MEANS THE COMMENTS ALL ACCIDENTALLY WENT POOF! I DID NOT INTEND TO ASDJKFASLDFJ aaa

Um. Um.

Waiting for five years? Edelgard, we just met like two months ago! How could you have been waiting for five years? Or did she just mean this moment in general? With anyone, no matter who? Yeah! That made sense. Mhm! And. Mhm! Yeah! Plus, um, confess? Confess what? Because she couldn’t be… she couldn’t have… was she telling her to confess those feelings? THOSE? Nope! It had to be a misunderstanding. It had to be some sort of misunderstanding at some sort of core point! It couldn’t be what it sounded like. That just didn’t make sense. There was no way that was possible. There was a misunderstanding here, on some sort of very fundamental level! Because what it sounded was… it was…

Edelgard was telling her to confess those feelings. The ‘love’ that had stricken so deeply into her heart. How did she know? Byleth hadn’t told anyone else. Well, Byrett made that one comment, once, but that was clearly a joke. Did she misunderstand those words? That’s what makes the most sense, right? Well, no, because that still meant she was asking Byleth to confess. And that meant she wanted to hear that. And if she wanted to hear it, that, most likely meant… um… that’s not right. That can’t be correct. Why would anyone ever want to hear a confession for any reason other than the obvious? Because… beecause… Byleth had read that this is the kinda thing that can ruin relationships! Ah, no! Not that kinda relationships! Byleth definitely didn’t have that kind of relationship with Edelgard. Not that she didn’t want to, but, because… there was no way… there was… absolutely no way…

Edelgard was a smart, beautiful, elegant, intelligent, pretty, cute, sweet-smelling, soft, warm princess! And Byleth… Byleth was...like, she was confident in her strength, but that was it! What could she possibly see in her? This must be some sort of misunderstanding. This must be! Byleth could barely talk to people! Well, no, she had gotten a lot better at communicating with her students, especially with Edelgard’s help… because she reached out to her… and… um… and…

Byleth had stood up, but that was probably a bad idea. Because she couldn’t feel her legs anymore. First her feet gave away, but she managed to avoid falling over by awkwardly shifting her feet around. But… uh… then, well… her ankles went, and then her knees. And she fell over. The same dizziness that plagued her whenever she fainted started to rumble through her mind. Ahh no, after such a long time of this not happening… Okay. Byleth! Calm down. Hands on your temples, pull back your feet and center them. Ground yourself and fight off the weakness! It set in really slow, this time, so she should be able to… well… keep it under control and NOT embarrass herself in front of Edelgard. And thankfully, she did! The dizziness started to fade, and the direct threat started to pass. Good, good, good… everything’s okay, Byleth. You’re fine, you’re safe,

“Are you feeling unwell, my teacher? Is that heat plaguing you again??”

When Byleth darted her eyes back up to look at Edelgard, she once again saw that gorgeous smile. And, well, her hand reaching forward. It was like she was reaching out to her to pick her up. Ahh, wait, if she moved her head a little, she could nuzzle into her hand again. She could… you could… um… why was she lowering her hand? Ahh her hand was getting closer it was getting closer no wait too close too close if you touch me now I’ll probably try to do something really stupid again! The panicked Byleth reacted in the only way she could, quickly skittering herself backwards, hands and feet pushing herself away. She didn’t get too far, given that the wall was behind her, but! Still! She needed to retreat. Ah, wait, no, she didn’t mean it like that! Edelgard please don’t stop smiling ahh don’t cover your face with your hand! Oh, she was laughing. Ah wait did that mean she was laughing at her!? No, it was just a cute quick and really short giggle.. So… so...that just meant she was happy, right? Right… um... yeah… she… it… um. Girls. Maybe… Edelgard could be her girlfriend… w-when she does the thing… and the thing, in two weeks…

Byleth heard the classroom’s door creak, and immediately jumped at the excuse to distract her mind. Um, she could see several pairs of eyes peeking inside. Like, Dorothea was there, Bernadetta was… and wait was that Hubert… well, before she got a good look at anyone else, the door was suddenly slammed shut.

“Oh, I should’ve…” Edelgard turned around and raised her voice. “Hubert! I ordered you to stop them, if the need arose! Not to encourage them!”

No response.

“We can continue this conversation in exactly two weeks, my teacher. That should be more than enough time for you to gather your feelings, and to put them to words. Now, please excuse me, it appears that I need to discipline someone.”

Could you discipline me instead?

No, wait, what? Bad Byleth, bad mind. Get that thought out of there. You probably shouldn’t get too squirmy in front of your maybe-potentially soon-in-two-weeks hopefully girlfriend! Ahh, girlfriend… if it… like.. She might be able to call Edelgard her girlfriend. And without it being some kinda weird joke sorta thing… ahh, your brain is gonna melt again if you keep this up! Distract yourself, distract yourself… uhh. Right. Just focus on the least arousing thing you can think of! So… uh… uh… Nope! Mind’s just full of Edelgard. Especially Edelgard’s mouth. Gosh, Edelgard’s lips, they look so…

Byleth what the heck are you doing FOCUS already on anything but the warmth clouding your gay little brain! Ahh, why was her mouth getting so dry? Oh, she must’ve been drooling. Because she couldn’t stop thinking of… well, you know…

Okay. Okay. Okay. Just get up, first. Focus on that first. Hands on chair. Feet on ground, and steadily pull yourself up. Okay. Okay. Good. That was the hard part. Now just get to your room… yeah, like that! Byleth instantly launched herself into her bed and… ahhh. So much had happened. So, so much… While a few… unwanted revelations had graced Byleth… she was just…

What is this odd, warm feeling?

She had felt it since she first came to Garreg Mach. It was incredibly subtle at first, like a subtle tingle in her chest. But now? It was blooming as hard as it could. Byleth originally thought it must’ve been related to those weird shocks of heat she had been feeling, but the more intense it became, the more obvious it was that it was absolutely nothing like them.It was something incredibly pleasant that just bubbled to her surface more and more, every day. Sure, there had been more than a few days where that feeling was nowhere to be found or drowned by shivers of anxiety, but… like…

Was this what it meant to be ‘happy;?

Not just momentary pulses of excitement. Not just a temporary peak in feeling.

Was this what it meant to just be… happy?

Did this mean she was never really happy before? It… that probably wasn’t too far fetched. What did she really have to be happy about? All she really did was read, train, work and the occasional casual sex. ‘Occasional’. God. She needed some sort of stress relief, and she needed it often.

...huh

Come to think of it, she hadn’t had sex since she came to Garreg Mach. Sure, there were some ‘personal problems’ that she occasionally needed to handle by herself, but she hadn’t actually… huh. Were this two months ago, she’d probably be rolling around in bed, whimpering incredible frustration for not getting laid in that amount of time. Byleth didn’t quite know why her sexual needs had gone down, especially since her desires hadn’t… but it probably had something to do with the ‘being happy’ thing.

Not that she wasn’t tempted, of course! But the men and women here didn’t exactly seem as forward as her fellow mercenaries were. And, well… unless she was completely brains-off horny, she didn’t really have the willpower to actually approach someone and ask for that sorta thing.

...Shamir almost got her, though. Because after several days worth of meetings she realized how incredibly hot she was and that she probably needed someone like her. Had she not been dealing with such a whirlpool of emotions, and especially the feelings she had for Edelgard, she would’ve probably dragged her aside and begged for a few minutes of her time.

Because… seriously. Shamir’s really hot and something about her really set something off in Byleth. And it wasn’t just her looks, either! Like. Something about her voice and the very way she spoke and and and…

...a-anyway. That’s probably not something you should be thinking of right now, Byleth. Because, in the end, she knew only one thing really mattered. It didn’t matter how hot someone else is or how nice they are or how smart they are. Because, really! Only one thing mattered to Byleth.

“I love her. I really love her… I love El…”

~~~

Those next two weeks would’ve probably been challenging were it not for how wonderful Byleth’s mood was. For one, her father decided she needed to fill in for Shamir for like a full day because Shamir needed to leave for an important mission, apparently related to those slithery people. It was… well, something. It was a little uncomfortable, but most of the students were pretty friendly! She…. couldn’t do too much talking, because of her own worries and anxieties, but she could very flusteredly communicate and get the students to train with her. She ended up giving her father some notes and had him read them off to his students, even if asking him for help caused a deep but temporary dip in her mood.

While it wasn’t technically her first time meeting the students of the Golden Deer, this was her first time really interacting with them. Well, aside from Claude, of course. The only real problem was that Claude kept trying to tease her… but, uh, his words kinda went over her head until Hida dragged her aside and explained it to her. They all sparred with one another, and most of them seemed to be on the same level of her class. Hilda was a little on the strong side, and Leonie was, as she already knew, leaps and bounds beyond the rest. She could probably take her entire class on at the same time… not that she could even land a scratch on Byleth, though. By the end of their training, Byleth barely managed to get comfortable enough to exchange some words with some of them. Although all she really did was give some minor closing statements on their training, and then apologize that she was having difficulty speaking before darting off without another word.

It was difficult, but not awful. One of the students was silent the entire time, though. He was trying to say something but Jeralt very loudly interrupted him and he kept his mouth shut the entire rest of the lesson. It seemed kinda really rude, but… Jeralt told her not to worry about it, because what would’ve come out of his mouth would’ve probably hurt her. Which is… very kinda yikes. 

A few days later, she also had to fill in, but this time for Byrett. While he was recovering, his physical state wasn’t quite back to how he used to be, so he couldn’t always handle the more-intense and very physically oriented training sessions. That… also went well, relatively.

Aside from the part where Sylvain started flirting with her. He wasn’t subtle, either, it was so obvious that even Byleth could tell. It honestly felt nice to be hit on again, because the only person who had been doing that was Dorothea! And Dorothea, well, had stopped doing that recently, like, at all. It was a boost to her self esteem! Especially given that ‘not being a human being’ thing. On the other hand, though, he got very aggressive with it, and Byleth kind of shut down. Thankfully, Ingrid stepped in before it could go too awry. And just. Kicked him in the ankle. REALLY hard. He fell over and rolled around in pain for a good few moments, and Byleth had to use her magic to ensure that his tendons weren’t completely torn.

It got him to shut up, though!

...it was a lot harder to teach the Blue Lions than it was the Golden Deer. They were all so… noble-y-like. She kinda got the same feeling she got whenever she was being sent on a mission by some filthy rich noble. Even those that weren’t noble had this air around them that just made them incredibly difficult to interact with. But they weren’t bad people! They seemed reasonably kind enough, not that Byleth was a good judge of character. They were just… difficult.

By the end of class, Dimitri asked her about how her brother was doing and how Edelgard was doing. While she could answer the question about her brother, just hearing Edelgard’s name from someone not in her class made her feel a sudden spike of anxiety. It was.. Weird. Becuase having Edelgard in her class just didn’t trigger anything for her at all! But hearing Dimitri say her name…

She kinda had to hurry back to her room and work on the thing she had promised Edelgard. Because she felt like she probably messed all of it up, and it seemed to be important to Edelgard, because she said she had been waiting it for so long and if she messed up she would definitely ruin her chance with Edelgard and she’s so sweet and Byleth didn’t know if she’d be able to handle a rejection after two weeks of hyping herself up and and and and and…

Byleth had… no idea how to do any of this. How to word her feelings. How to confess to her in a way that would be special. Or… what even would be special. Or even what is normal! Like, she could go and read some books again but then Byleth grabbed some random sort of romantic book where a confession instantly lead to a rejection and… well, the rest of that night had her wallowing in dread. The next day she was back to normal again, but the day after that, was…

How… how had it already been two weeks? She got SOMETHING done. Something. Like, a two-sided page worth of scribbles.

Dammit, dammit, dammit, that wasn’t going to be enough! Ahh, Edelgard was going to be upset and unhappy with her. This was gonna go bad. She was going to be upset and angry and disappointed and and and and and and and and and and and Byleth really didn’t want to drag herself out of bed. It took a good amount of time for Byleth to gather enough courage to get herself up and to get ready for, well, the day. She put on her fanciest looking uniform, the black one with a white center that kinda looked like a student’s uniform. The rest of her time before class was spent fighting with her hair. It had gotten a little longer than Byleth was comfortable with, and for the first time in way too long did she actually remember to brush her hair. She pondered cutting her hair herself, but dropped the idea when she realized she might accidentally mess up her hair really badly.

...um, um, what else was she supposed to do? Byleth knew that there was this thing called makeup people use to pretty themselves up and hide physical imperfections. Not that Byleth had any, or even had any idea on how to work it if she DID have makeup… she was going to confess to Edelgard! She had to look good! When Byleth finally put her brush down, she stared at herself in the mirror for a good few seconds.

Huh?

Byleth grabbed her glasses to make sure, but…

Did her hair get a little darker? Her eyes too? That… uh…

Byleth’s mild worries were interrupted by the sudden gonging of Garreg Mach’s bell, and she rushed towards her classroom as fast as she possibly could. She didn’t end up being too late, thankfully! The Black Eagles’ classes soon started, and Byleth’s lessons went as well as ever! Well, that is, until the less ten minutes of class. Dorothea rather loudly asked Byleth how her preparations for the day had gone. Quickly adding she meant the ‘after class special’ she was to ‘prepare for Edie’. The teasing kinda made Byleth shrink back into her chair. Especially when she saw Edelgard shake her head. Ahh, she didn’t want her to be upset! She had prepared something! Honest! Even if it had taken the most of her private time over these last two weeks, she had prepared something! She had even written it down! On a little note! That she had in her pocket! No, wait. It was definitely in her pocket. She had it right there an-

Uhh.

...what was Dorothea reading? Um, that looked suspiciously folded like- and it even had the back scribbled all over like-

Ahh, when the fuck did she get her hands on that!? This is not the time for this, Dorothea! Ah, no, she was giggling. It must be bad… not fair. Not fair not fair not fair! Ahh, she didn’t have enough time! It was only two weeks, and maybe she should’ve asked someone for help… but it would’ve been bad if she explained the situation to anyone because they’d make fun of her and it’d be stupid and and and and and and and

The bell rang again.

...oh no, she was completely unprepared.

Even though… Edelgard told her to prepare…

What was she supposed to do?

Byleth memorized some of it, sure! But... but… like, it wasn’t like she actually wrote down much! So memorizing ‘some of it’ meant she pretty much just remembered a single sentence. Like, at  most. And even that was slipping away from her! It’s okay. Um. She once read that these things have to be natural, but… that’s not what Edelgard was asking for! What she was about to say last time was natural! And Edelgard didn’t want that… so… she should just…

No. Even considering that was giving her a headache. She couldn’t just run away or give up or delay this. That wasn’t an option. Nope. No way. Nuh-uh! She just had to. Sit there and get it over with. She’ll figure out something that’d make Edelgard happy…

…

“You can have this back now, Professor.”

Oh. Dorothea gave her notes back. T-That… was a very unnecessary panic.

“I couldn’t help but notice you dropped this, and when I saw what it was~” Dorothea cut herself off with a giggle. “I wanted to give you some advice, but this is so uniquely… like Edie’s beloved Professor, that I couldn’t bear to change even a word.”

U-Um..

“Thank you.”

Dorothea was just teasing her, wasn’t she? There was no way this could be good! Or even passable! Because she just couldn’t get anything done! It was just a few dumb scribbles on a piece of paper… it was bad and hopeless. Completely hopeless. It wasn’t like she was ever confident in what she was doing or what she had done, but whatever excitement she had for these next moments had definitely all faded away. Because… because… aaah.

Byleth’s mind went from only being capable of thinking of her future life with Edelgard, to thinking exclusively thinking about and fearing every single way this potentially could go wrong. Haahn, where had her excitement gone? Where were all those fluttery feelings of happiness, that had made her squirm for all of the past two weeks? C’mon. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts… It’ll… it’ll work out!

Stupid Byleth. You aren’t even a human being. How could you ever think you have a chance with someone like Edelgard!? You’d just be lying to her… plus, she was already sexually experienced even though she had absolutely no relationship experience, and… that was bad, right? Something about two people having their first time together and that that’s special? Well, to be honest… t-there’s no reason to believe Edelgard wasn’t as experienced as her, right? Being a princess and all, she probably got whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted...so if she, well, wanted anything! She probably had it! So.. .at least that’s not something she had to worry about!

Right?

Yes! It’ll work out!

Stop… looking for reasons to panic, Byleth.

Just focus. Because it’ll work out. These things always worked out, right?

Focus on the woman you love. The woman that’s walking towards you. That just… w-wait… why did she just... did Edelgard just… hop up to sit on her desk? Facing her? Legs crossed? Why was that so unbelievably hot? Please, um… s-say something and make me squirm, ma’am… actually say anything and it’ll probably make me squirm aaaa

“So, my teacher?”

“Yes!”

Yup, there was the squirming. Edelgard’s legs. Edelgard’s red-tight covered legs. They looked so soft. And god, her thighs… um, tights probably compress your thighs a little, right? Naturally, because they have to fit in something, right? Like. Did that mean her thighs were even more curvy than that? Because, um, they were wonderful and Byleth really wanted to nuzzle her face into her lap. She looked so soft. So incredibly soft. Would her hands be able to sink into them? Like. Would she be able to see her tender flesh like, push out against her fingers? Like she did when she sunk her fingers into… ahh. That two months worth of abstinence was coming back to bite her, because all she could do was smile like an idiot and stare at those lovely, delicious curves. And think about how wonderful it would be to push down Edelgard and to just… just… aaah.

“My teacher? 

“Huh? What. Ah! Sorry…”

Right. Her eyes are up there. Byleth looked up and made eye contact, but she felt some sort of anxiety take over the very moment she locked eyes, so she quickly looked away instead. Right. She had something important to say. Byleth grabbed that piece of paper out of her pocket, and opened her mouth, and-

Um.

Why weren’t any words coming out? All she could do was make this high-pitched whine. Um. No, please. This is worse than like… anything else that could happen! You’re just not saying anything. You’re staring at a piece of paper. And. Just. Not talking. Don’t ruin this, Byleth. Stop making this worse and worse and worse with every passing second.

Help?

Sothis? Please tell me what to do? Someone? Tell me what to do? I’m not good at this ‘doing things’ thing. Edelgard told me to prepare something, but she didn’t say what, and she didn’t really have anyone to turn to for help and and and and maybe she should’ve asked Dorothea! Yeah! She would’ve helped! Because Byleth can’t really. Do this should’ve thing on her own. So she should’ve. Should’ve. Should’ve…

Edelgard reached forward and pulled that piece of paper out of Byleth’s hand. She squeaked, no don’t read that! It’s bad, it’s bad… n-no, please don’t put it aside either! Maybe you really should read it! Since I can’t speak! For some reason! And that’s even worse than… ahh. Every single new thing that happened all seemed to be the worst possible thing. Somehow. This dreadful feeling just kept getting worse and worse and worse and worse…

Someone like her. Like that? With someone like Edelgard?

Of course it wouldn’t happen.

Of course it couldn’t happen.

Of course, of course, of course.

Stupid subhuman… whatever you are! How could you ever think… you could…

Edelgard stood up and off the desk. Probably to leave and walk away.

Because someone like her didn’t deserve this. She was nothing more than someone that took lives. Someone that made people hurt. Someone that. Just. Made things worse.

...but

Edelgard didn’t leave.

Instead, she shuffled forward. Closer to Byleth. Her hands moved forward. Onto Byleth’s shoulders. Then down her arms and towards her wrists. She pulled them away from her lap. What was she going to do? Like. Kick her? She probably deserved it, and… huh?

Edelgard… lowered herself. And just. Sat herself down. On Byleth’s lap. And then. She pulled Byleth’s arms. And just. Wrapped them around her body. Making her hug Edelgard. Making her hold Edelgard. While she was sitting on her lap. Her hands were. Wrapped around Edelgard. Holding her sides. Holding her.

“My dear teacher, you seem to have misunderstood what I meant. I didn’t expect theater, or for you to read me poetry. I simply wanted to make sure you were emotionally prepared, to share your most honest feelings. The only words I want to hear are those beating through your heart, on this very moment.”

Oh.

...ooh.

“Have you been worried about this for the past two weeks, my teacher?”

Byleth silently nodded. It wasn’t like Edelgard was doing a bad thing, but… t-that was really rough! It just… and.. The anxiety.. . and...and… Byleth leaned herself forward, and quietly just buried her face in Edelgard’s belly. Very, very muffledly by the comfort, she spoke up and finally said those words.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. And I have, since you saved me, on that day. You may not remember, but I do. I would never forget you. Your green eyes. Your green hair. Your lithe built. Your flawless, unblemished skin. The warmth of your hand. And most of all, your smile. Void of fear, even as you tore through demons. Just to protect me, and to rescue me..”

She… saved Edelgard? Was that what had happened five years ago? The thing she spoke of, two weeks ago? 

And wait… she saved someone? She saved someone’s life?

“Do you remember now, my teacher?”

Byleth pulled back and shook her head, a little worried. They had met before, and Byleth didn’t remember? Isn’t that… really bad? That they met in a way that was supposedly so special to her. And that. Byleth didn’t remember?

“That’s alright. It is my most treasured memory. Even if you hold no recollection, I do. You will surely remember, one day, as we share the rest of our lives together.”

Wait.

Um.

Share the rest of their lives!?

Right. They confessed to each other., Byleth felt so comfortable there, for a moment, that she forgot to… uh…

“Will you be mine, my saviour?”

Byleth was smiling so wide she almost forgot to nod. She wanted to say something in response, but all she could really get out was another “I love you.” and then another. And another. Because she loved her. And finally saying that… it felt like some sort of awful weight had been removed from her body. Something so heavy and crushing, yet something she had never noticed was there before. Something that kinda felt like… it had to have been a part of her, for a long, long time. Like some… really bad part of her 

“And just as you are mine, I will be yours.”

...hers.

Belonging to… Edelgard.

She belonged to the woman she loved.

Does that mean they’re.

Does that mean she’s.

That they’re

Together?

Edelgard’s gloved hand moved upwards. Thumb resting on her bottom lip. She pulled, slightly. Parting Byleth’s lips with a gentle movement. What. What was she doing? Edelgard’s other hand moved to the back of Byleth’s head, tilting it upwards just a little. And she leaned in. And forward. Byleth couldn’t stop herself from heaving. Was she doing this? Her lips were getting closer. Closer. Closer. Byleth couldn’t stop herself from moving her hands down and gently grasping at Edelgard’s rump. Squeezing in, and she kept pushing her lips closer. And closer. And closer. She could feel Edelgard’s breath. She could feel her breathing. Against her lips. Making the saliva on them feel… so wonderfully warm. 

Edelgard was really going to do it.

Press their lips together.

Kiss her.

Byleth could slowly feel Edelgard’s lips press against hers. Distressingly carefully and slowly. It was almost frustrating how careful she was being. Byleth couldn’t wait, and pushed her own lips in. Kissing at her. Smacking their lips together. Pulling her lips back,just so she could renew their glinstering coating with her tongue, before diving in again. Over and over. Kiss after kiss after kiss.

Ahh, more.

Byleth needed more.

Would Edelgard mind if she deepened it, just a little? The next time Edelgard pressed in, Byleth poked her tongue out again, this time to slick against her lover’s mouth until she carefully and slowly dipped it in. Pressing forward, until she met Edelgard’s. 

Ahh, it felt so overwhelming. It felt so intense. Her entire body was starting to shiver. She could feel something deep within her warm up her chest, along with a much more common heat boiling up a lot further down on her body.

“I love you…~”

Maybe Edelgard woudl let her… just a little… she pulled her hands back to Edelgard’s front. Hand on thigh. Stroking. Slowly moving closer and closer to Edelgard’s ‘core’. Edelgard wasn’t stopping her. They were still kissing, and Byleth was being really slow, so… was that permission? That was permission, right? Right? That meant she could go ahead and dive in and and and-

“Professor, this is an emergency!”

Byleth quickly moved her hands back to Edelgard’s hips. They both pulled their faces back and away from the kiss. A bridge of saliva still locked their lips together, until Byleth carefully broke it with a flick of her own tongue. And then they both turned. Very slowly, towards the door that had just crashed open.

It was Seteth.

Edelgard slowly stood herself off and adjusted her uniform, while Byleth sheepish;y wiped her lips 

Umm..

Someone say something?

“We will discuss your punishments later! Professor, something happened to Flayn!”

Oh, the cute, short, green-haired girl, right? Wait, what happened to her? Byleth stood herself up and fixed up her own clothes, too. This was… uh, a really awkward situation. Was this an emergency? Because Byleth really wanted to get back to kissing her girlfriend.

Ehehe, girlfriend… Byleth giggled like an idiot.

“This is no laughing matter! Stop your drawdling and head for some secret passage in the knights quarters! Someone grabbed Flayn and dragged her off, Byrett and Jeralt are already after her, you cannot waste anymore time!”

Oh.

Oooh.

That’s bad.

Byleth’s head cleared up a little as the severity of the threat sat in. She shot Edelgard a quick look and nodded to her, before bursting off as quickly as she possibly could. Knights Quarters, secret passage… oh. The floor and walls had been… covered in blood.

No. Someone got… hurt?

...Flayn?

No, no, it couldn’t be. It couldn’t be. Byleth stormed down the stairwell as quickly as she could, only to be greeted by the sight of her father and brother locked in combat, along with a sizable group of Knights, including Catherine and Shamir. They didn’t seem to have any problems keeping off the horde in front of them, but…

They couldn’t quite make progress, either.

Even her father was fighting, just as he had always done. But… he was locked right besides Byrett, who was still very obviously slowed by his injuries. His swings were crappy and his strikes were slow. Definitely nothing compared to how her very own brother would ever normally fight.

“Sister, go! We’ve got this under control! I don’t know where they came from, but we’ll take care of protecting Garreg Mach! You, take out their commander and save Garreg Mach!”

“Don’t die, Brother!”

Okay that was her first time actually calling her that and while it felt a little weird, it definitely didn’t feel unpleasant. Her brother wasn’t a bad person. Every single problem between them, had just been her father’s fault.

Because she had a family.

Just

Not a father, and no longer a mother.

Byleth hopped and leapt past the enemies in her way, using a combination of wind magic and her own natural abilities to storm past her enemies.

This powerful body of hers had already saved one precious person’s life. And if she rescued Flayn, that’d be two!

Within a few bounds, Byleth found herself past the initial wave of troops. After taking a corner, she saw another mass of troops, but she effortlessly blasted them out of the way with another burst of wind magic. The few durable enough to take the hit and stay conscious were slow enough to not pose a significant threat, anyway. After a few more turns, Byleth finally reached what seemed to be the center of their underground little labyrinth. And there she was- Flayn. Along with another girl, both laying on what seems to be some sort of surgical table covered in blood, with blood-drawn Crests covering the floors and walls.

Of course, the person standing over them was no other than Tomas. Well, Tomas and some other person mounted on a horse and adorned with some unique look, ornamental black other.

“Ah. Death Knight, could you take care of that little problem?”

“I would know no greater joy.”

His horse strutted forward, and he stood between Tomas and Byleth. That’s alright. Countless imposing figures had tried to find her, and it always ended the same. All Byleth needed to do is grab her sword, and-

Huh?

...where’d it go?

Oh god, no, she must’ve forgotten it back in her classroom… d-did she seriously forget her sword because she was busy making out with Edelgard!? That’s bad.

“Draw your sword, Ashen Demon.” I would, but I forgot! But that’s alright. Byleth still had her magic. And while she might not be as capable in the arts as she is at the sword, but she had more than enough expertise to fight someone off. Her body wasn’t the only thing that was ‘blessed by the Goddess’, after all! He swung is Halberd at her, but she nimbly dodged it by hopping backwards. To the side. Underneath, chipping away at him with lightning magic all the time. Wind magic didn’t seem to pierce his armour, but lightning was slowly chunking away at him…

That is, until she saw an opening.

The Death Knight and his mounted beast jumped backwards.

.With a quick motion of her arm and a focusing of her magic, dark spikes shot up from the ground where they landed. Instantly piercing the beast, and leaving the armour-clad knight falling onto his side. He himself seemed unharmed, but as he bounced back to his feet and readied his weapon, Tomas interrupted the fight.

“Enough playing. If you aren’t even strong enough to defeat an unarmed child, we have no use for you. Take her down, before you go the way of the Flame Emperor.”

The what? Byleth was about to ask, but the Death Knight soon struck is scythe again. Clumsy, aimless, and unthreatening. Rather than dodging or anything, she just took one step forward, and caught his scythe by the handle. And she just. Heaved it down. Lifting up the Death Knight, and slamming him against a nearby wall before he could possibly let go.

“Ah, Lady Sothis. I see you’ve been growing closer to your desired visage. Have you become even stronger, my lady?” She expected him to say something useful so she didn’t interrupt him right off the bat, but because he didn’t, she struck the scythe at Tomas, embedding it in the wall besides him. She wasn’t going to kill him, but… she could scare him a little. “Have I offended you, my lady? Why would you strike your weapon at someone as frail and defenseless as me?” Byleth let go of the scythe, and stepped closer. Within her arm’s range, just so she could punch him if he said something stupid again. “We would appreciate it if you came with me, but I understand that has never been an option. But you could still let me leave with the girl.”

Byleth didn’t respond. It really wasn’t worth one.

“If you would be so forgiving as to let me leave, Lady Sothis, I will ensure our organization will no longer target your useless, broken toy. You can just have her.” Byleth punched forward, as hard as she could, as he heard him say that. ‘Her’? Was he talking about Edelgard? How dare he. She intended to put a crater in his body, but her fist slammed into, and partially through the concrete wall in front of her, instead.

He had already disappeared, and so had the armoured knight and his scythe. Leaving just her, and the two injured and unconscious girls. Byleth first went to examine Flayn. She seemed to be okay, no noteworthy external injuries. While she wasn’t a doctor, she figured it couldn’t hurt to just fill her with some healing magic just to make sure she wasn’t in any danger. She stepped over to the redhead, and-

“Professor!”

Byleth’s ears perked up as she heard Edelgard’s voice, and she immediately and obediently ran over to her. Eheheh, this was the first time they met up again after officially confessing to each other! Like, they were lovers, and… ah, getting off track there, Byleth.

“Are you unharmed!?” Byleth nodded, and Edelgard sighed in relief. “Don’t you ever dare run off unarmed again. Even for someone of your strength, this is incredibly reckless! You sho-My teacher, are you listening? You’re smiling when I’m scolding you.”

“I love you so much!” Byleth stepped forward and wrapped around Edelgard, who hugged her back for a moment, before pushing back and away and responding with a quick “I love you, too. I’ll give you an earful when we return. You take care of Flayn, I’ll…”

Edelgard suddenly went silent, and hurried closer towards the unknown girl. She trailed her hand across her face, wiping away her hair, before silently muttering out someone’s name.

“Monica?”

“Who?” Byleth stepped closer. Who was that? And why was Edelgard so worried about her? And touching her face?

“I’ll explain later. Professor, lend me your hand. Her vitals seem low, could you apply some of your healing magic?”

Byleth grumbled and stepped closer, pushing her hands towards the redhead. A little shimmer of light faded from her palls, and into the ‘Monica’ girl. She slowly woke up, with and dizzily sat herself back up.

“Monica! Are you alright? Are you aware of how long you’ve been gone?”

“Ehh? I’ve been gone? I just took a little nap, and…” the redhead interrupted her own words with a tired yawn. And Edelgard just stepped forward. Closer. Before pushing her arms out forward, and-

Was she hugging her/ Was she going to hug her? Another girl? Right after they had this entire confession thing? That’s just mean. Byleth didn’t really know about what their history together is, but this Monica girl was definitely not someone she had seen before. Was she a former student? That was close friends with Edelgard? Byleth kinda wanted to hiss at her, especially as they locked arms, and-

Byleth saw Monica whisper something… and quickly pull a dagger from her pocket. Already inches away from Edelgard’s body. Byleth reached for her now girlfriend in an attempt to pull her away, but…

...Edelgard had it all in control. She caught the redhead’s hand with her own. Twisted it. And effortlessly pinned her head against the platform she had just been laying on.

“Do you take me for a fool, Kronya? Did you really think something like this could work.”

‘Monica’ giggled, helplessly kicking her arms and legs around.

“I thought I had you when you hugged me, geez. Is this really how you should be treating a close friend? Doesn’t this hurt? You’re about to break her arm! Can you really do that! Ahh, doesn’t my little El have too much humanity left for that?”

Edelgard didn’t respond, and instead she just used her free hand to hoist her axe.

“Ah! Wait! I can give you valuable intel about us! About our organization, about us Agarthians!”

Again, no response. Edelgard just brought her axe down.

But before it could hit…

“You’re still so stupid~”

‘Edelgard was stopped straight in her tracks. Something cracked. Monica had… lifted her foot up, to stomp right down on Edelgard’s foot. But there’s no way that would ever be enough to stop Edelgard! But it all made sense, when the redhead raised her foot back up.

The heel of her shoe had… broken off.

Revealing a sharp needle.

That had just struck right into Edelgard..

“El!”

Byleth stepped forward and yanked Edelgard away, just barely fast enough to save her from a second strike. Monica had pulled another dagger and quickly attempted to strike Edelgard… but when it missed? She didn’t attack again. She just hopped up. And sat back on that little platform.

“Do you mind letting me watch?”

Byleth felt something crack. Right in her chest. Something broke.

“I want to see the Flame Emperor’s final moments! I want to see your expressions, as she dies!”

It beat. Her heart beat. Her broken heart beat. And that broken feeling spread.

“I got a nice load inside of her! Several times more than I coat my daggers with! It’s travelling through her veins now, you know? It’s probably already reached her heart. Don’t you wanna see the last expression she makes? Look, she’s crying! The soulless Flame Emperor is crying!”

...no.

That wasn’t Edelgard.

That was me.

Because.

Because!

I’m crying.

My first tears.

For Edelgard.

“I love you…”

“Oh, corpses can’t love, hun. Neither can demons. I guess that makes you two perfect for eachother!”

It beat again. Hard enough to make her body shake. It felt like it was trying to break out.

I need to save Edelgard. Body, why won’t you move!? You’re just… making this worse. Please! You can still save her! You can! You can you can! You you you you you can can can can! You have a body made by a Goddess! Everything is okay. Everything is safe!

Something… snapped.

Byleth felt something, and.

She just let it all out.

To save Edelgard.

Because she will save Edelgard.

Because she loves Edelgard.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a very short Edelgard-PoV chapter, while I work on some other projects. The next chapter should be pretty long so I hope this is decent enough to tide everyone over! also my three braincells somehow messed up on posting this so asdfajdf i'm sorry if you got double notifs or somthin;! ;_;

‘My teacher?’

Kronya’s poison had already left me unmoving, but nothing more. Their poison had long lost the ability to endanger me. A weaker woman would’ve already perished. These weren’t mere cuts or scratches, she had effectively shot more than a full dose of it directly into my bloodstream. But it still couldn’t kill me. Even the strongest poison was poised to lose its efficacy after being forced through my system as many times as this had. It scrambled my nervous system, but it could no longer truly harm me.

‘Professor!’

But I couldn’t move my mouth. No matter how much strength I shifted to my jaws, I couldn’t open my mouth. I could barely even gargle my throat, let alone speak. My meek attempts to call for my beloved’s attention faded into nothing more than mere pained groans. I wanted to tell her I am okay. I wanted to tell her I was still alive. I wanted to call out to her and calm her nerves, but my body failed me.

I could do nothing more than stare at Byleth’s crying face.

_ thump _

Something shook Byleth’s body, and mine with it.

_ thump _

Again. I could feel her shiver against my body. Please don’t cry, my teacher. It’s too early to shed tears. Even if I were to die, Kronya is still—

_ thump _

Byleth squeezed me tight, pulling my face into her chest. I could hear her heart race through the fine cushioning she held me against.

_ thump thump thump _

Huh? No, these weren’t heartbeats. A heart cannot beat with enough force to shake one’s entire self! It sounded like something else was inside of her. Something that desperately wanted to escape from its confinement.

“Edel… gard…”

Byleth gently set me down,, and she moved her thumb to my lips. Her thumb pressed into my mouth. Her left hand gently held my head straight, while the rest of her right hand cupped around my chin. 

Ah!

A sudden pressure shoved in on both sides of my head, forcing my teeth deep into Byleth’s skin. I fought as hard as I could to ease the pressure of my teeth, but by the time Byleth let me relax, I could already feel the warm liquid of her blood drip down my mouth. Ah, no! Fool, I’m too numb. I can’t exactly swallow! You might drown me!

—Huh?

I feel oddly warm. As Byleth pulled herself back onto her feet, her still-bleeding digit yanked from my lips. I could feel some vague measure of strength return to my system, but it felt like I spent it all just from turning onto my side just to face Byleth. I tried to call out to her again, but I could again not gather even the slightest hint of strength. Instead, I was just forced to watch my teacher stand there, between me and my would-be killer.

They seemed to be speaking, but I couldn’t distinguish the noises from their lips from the sound of combat still echoing through my head. That, and the faint dripping of Byleth’s blood. Whenever it touched the floor, I could hear it splash, and then crack.

—another drop fell, and the blood in front of me burst up into glowing green pillars of minerals. As the green energy faded, I slowly began to realize what truly stood in front of me.

These were Crest Stones. Byleth’s blood was forming into Crest Stones.

And Byleth herself, too, had started to change.

Her slender fingers grew slightly longer, as her nails grew slightly more curved and sharper. Her green hair grew longer and darker. What was happening to her? Was she okay!? It almost seemed like— no. It couldn’t be.

There was no way Byleth could become a Crest Beast.

I so desperately wished to call out to her, and to call her to her senses, but I just couldn’t. I was forced to watch, as the one I loved slowly turned into something far different. I didn’t want to see this happen again, but I couldn’t just close my eyes. Even if I wanted to, I just couldn’t. I clung to my consciousness as tightly as I could. I could see Byleth step forward, feet hovering inches above the ground, before—

Ah. How unfortunate. My eyes were failing me. The clear image of Byleth warped into a shimmering shape that barely resembled a human, before darkness overtook me. Had they fallen closed? I was still conscious, I simply couldn’t see. My other senses hung on by a thin thread.

“Byleth!”

The last thing I could hear before my conscious failed, was a scream from Jeralt, followed by an extremely loud crash. A shock of pain overtook my body, and whatever strength I had was violently yanked away from me.


	17. Ashen Demon

It was as if swallowed by water. As if I were swimming on the surface of the ocean, and then suddenly found myself swallowed by a great wave. My vision turned blurry, hazy, and then it all faded into a deep green. Don’t people refer to losing yourself to your anger as ‘seeing red’? At first, I could still vaguely recognize some shapes and images. But that, too, was soon ripped away from me. As soon as that awful bitch disappeared from my grip, I lost any connection I had to my body. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t feel, I couldn’t hear. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything. My senses went completely blank. It wasn’t like I saw ‘black’, no. It was empty. Everything was empty. It was like everything was gone. The only thing that could keep me company were my feelings of anger. The only thing that told me I still existed was my anger.

...it… was the only thing left.

...all I had left was my anger.

And that, too, eventually faded.

Am I dead? No, I can’t be. A dead person can’t think, right? I’m just asleep. A really weird.. Kind of asleep. Yeah. Yeah!

...Is Edelgard okay?

Wait, was I so angry I forgot about what actually mattered!? What is WRONG with me!? The person I love just got... Hurt so bad, and all I can think of is myself? I don’t have the time to be angry about how hurt Edelgard got! She was poisoned. I need to be there for her. I need to help her. If it was the same poison she used to hurt my brother, there’s no way for anyone else to help her! You need to open your eyes, Byleth! Now! Right now!

...why won’t they open?

Why can’t I move myself?

It was my blood and magic that saved Byrett, right!? It was a toxin with no known cure, right? All I need to do is draw my sword. And cut myself. Until she’s better. Until that awful poison is out of her system! Do you need my blood? I’ll tear off my arm for you! Do you need my magic? I’ll rip out my crest for you!

I’ll do anything for her.

So please, just please. Let me help her.

“It’s too late. You can’t help her.”

A familiar voice tore through the air. My own, except it was coming from the girl in the throne that called herself Sothis. Saying such hopeless things. Such hopeless, and wrong things. Some Goddess you are! You can’t even save the one person you said matters to you!? The one person that matters to ME!? Just use your powers! Do… whatever!

“Hey. It’s alright. It’s my fault.”

YOUR fault!? Don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking DARE. She was right there. Bleeding in my arms. Because I didn’t protect her! It’s my fault. It’s… my fault! It’s not alright! If El isn’t okay, it’s NOT ALRIGHT. 

“No. It was my fault. I should’ve reclaimed my name and body the very moment I woke up. Even with the power of a thousand armies and a body forged from my Crest, you still have the heart of a child. Don’t worry. You can sleep. You can watch. I’ll protect her, for you. Please rest, and let me take care of Edelgard.”

No, Sothis, don’t you dare-

“Sothis? No. Didn’t you hear me? My name is Byleth Eisner.”

...no, that’s my name.

My name is ▮▮▮▮▮▮-

~~~

No one could ever truly believe any of the stories Jeralt shared about the Ashen Demon. While Byrett never quite doubted the existence of his twin sister, the tales of her strength were undoubtedly exaggerated. A single human would be lucky to survive an encounter with a single demonic beast, yet their father swore that Byleth treated flocks of these as a plaything. He spoke of how he had given up on sparring with his daughter, for there was simply nothing left that she could learn. One night, in a drunken stupor, he even admitted he had been unable to land even a single glancing blow on the young demoness ever since she pushed through puberty. Sometimes, Jeralt would even come to visit Garreg Mach for weeks— or even months, and simply ‘joke’ that his daughter could fend for herself.

These were all lies. They had to be.

Even the strongest warriors had trouble matching up to singular demonic beasts, there was no way that a young girl could ever humiliate a full flock.

Jeralt swore to never teach Byrett, or any of the other students of Garreg Mach. While he broke his vow to tutor Leonie, there was no way it could be anymore than an unwillingness to teach.

Byleth may have very well surpassed her father, but for him to be unable to land even a single glancing blow? Yeah, maybe, if his heart wasn’t in it. He probably despised raising his sword towards his kid daughter. What father wouldn’t?

Jeralt may not be a perfect father, but he had always treated Byrett with love and kindness. He was not the kind of man that could simply abandon his daughter. He often spoke of how anti-social the young Byleth could be, so Byrett always assumed he always just left her in the care of a close friend. Dad had never been honest about his kindness, so Mother and I both assumed he was simply too embarrassed to mention whatever new friend he had left Byleth at.

But no. None of them were lies. Byleth was strong beyond recognition. Byleth was invincible, and most important of all— her very own father held no hesitance in abandoning his very own daughter, even leaving her to fend for herself. A lone girl, incapable of even talking to people, unable to ask for help even when most needed.

...communication can be difficult.

I’ve spent the last several months trying my very hardest to bond with my sister, but all I could do was push her away. I refused to see my own fault, for her awkwardness could lie in no other than herself, just as I refused to see any fault in our father. But now— I understand.

...Jeralt was an awful father, and Byleth was a broken girl. A broken girl that couldn’t understand her own emotions. A broken girl that— sometimes adorably so— seemed completely oblivious to the stories written in her expression. From her infatuation of Edelgard, to her discomfort and fear in many social situations— it was all quite easy to read.

It almost felt as if she was similar to a younger me. Before I grew more confident in my own emotions. By speaking with my Mother, by speaking with the students and residents of Garreg Mach, I came to understand myself. I came to understand my pains, my smiles, my feelings. I don’t quite know what it could’ve been that hampered my emotional development, but Byleth was no different.

No different, except she had no one around to teach her. We were both simply born with emotional difficulties nobody seems to understand.

How scared must she have been, when I grabbed her arm and told her to go teach a class? I assumed our Dad understood how to treat his own daughter while respecting the difficulties of her heart, so when he told me I should quite literally just make up an excuse and pull her in… I assumed this was simply what she would be most comfortable with.

We had yet to even meet, and I already harmed whatever bond we could shape as siblings.

...yet still, she found it in herself to acknowledge me as her brother.

Was this a situation they would even be able to resolve without someone like Byleth? The flood of bodies erupting from the depths of Garreg Mach almost seemed endless. Even if they were unskilled, untrained and mindless enough to fall to Byrett’s toxin-burdened body, he, nor those around him, could move forward. Even the most untrained villains could prove dangerous when armed with such overwhelming numbers. If anyone were to move forwards, they would simply fall overwhelmed by the nigh-endless numbers they could supply. The further they were to step in this corridor, the more vulnerable they would become to these overwhelming waves. They could not move.

Yet Byleth could. For she didn’t merely match the tales of heroism her father spread, she surpassed them. As she surpassed her father, and as she surpassed even the greatest warriors humanity had ever seen. A single bound was enough to clear the endless waves of bodies, and mere flicks of her hand were enough to cast magic that matched Mother’s greatest rituals. She had surpassed ‘power’. For her strength was akin to legends.

All Byrett could do was keep the students safe, and keep the endless enemy troops at bay. Inhuman enemies that scattered into dust as soon as they had slain, and were just as quickly replaced. Clearly forged or brought by some sort of cursed magic. It was as if this swarm of enemies could continue for all of eternity, but they didn’t. They simply stopped. And the serenade of metal and blades faded to nothing with it. Making way for a momentary silence, that disappeared before it could become comfortable.

For it was replaced by the screams of inhumanity. A bellowing roar that came from something that could not be called human. A screech loud enough to shake the very ground underneath, with enough force to tear into ears. Byrett quickly moved to cover his ears, but it wasn’t enough. It was not the kind of force mere hands could defeat. All they could do was wait for it to fade into a shrill whine. The voice slowly faded, but the shaking did not. It simply became worse. It wasn’t just the ground. The very foundations of Garreg Mach shook, until it finally cracked.

The wall from which their previous enemies came forth, it simply broke and busted into a cloud of dust and rubble. When the dust cleared, the source of all the whining quickly became clear.

‘It’ was something Byrett could only see as a true Ashen Demon. ‘It’ was his sister. A sister slowly warped by some sort of inhumanity. Horns were boring from her skull. Spikes were growing from her back. Something that resembled a skeletal tail was growing from her lower back. Her hands stopped resembling those of humans, growing into animalesque fangs formed from ashen-grey scales. A slight hint of tears from her dark sclera, tainted by just the slightest hint of red.

_ “No way…”  _ the green-haired occupant of Byrett’s head spoke. The usually smug Sothis, was now left with nothing but her voice shaking in what could only be fear. A tone in which she had never whined before.  _ “That power… that’s… me. That’s mine. How did your sister… how do I… Byrett, run! We cannot fight her like this! Our Divine Pulse— it cannot work on someone like her!” _ Byleth was someone that stood even outside of the domain of Sothis’ grasp over time. There was no way anyone could fight her.

What is this.. Feeling.

Why won’t my legs move? Why won’t my body move? Obey! Run away! Escape! 

Why can’t I, why won’t I…

Byleth was no longer were she just stood. Byrett moved his arms up in front of his face to cover himself from any sort of sudden attack, but it was already too late. Byleth had long gone past him, by the time he could even think to defend himself. She had already struck at her true target. Not Byrett. Not him. She only had one target.

Her father, Jeralt. She had already struck forward, at a speed his sight could not comprehend. And yet, it wasn’t enough. Her clawed fingers could not reach Jeralt. Her right arm had extended forward, stopped inches in front of his face. Dad’s gauntlet-covered hands sunk into Byleth’s arm, keeping her hand at bay. Before the demoness could strike her other hand forward, he had already shoved her away. With enough force to knock her back.

Or so Byrett assumed.

It wasn’t like he could comprehend their movements. All he could see was a very instant of Jeralt holding onto Byleth’s arm.

“What are all of you doing!? Run! Evacuate Garreg Mach! I’ll try to delay it! Go, before it slaughters all of you!”

‘It’? It!? You’re calling your very own daughter an ‘it’!? She’s fighting you with all of her strength. She’s crying her heart out. And you’re calling her an it!?

“Kid, are you deaf!? It-”

“...My sister.”

“This is not the time for this ‘sympathy’ bullshit! It will kill you!”

“She.”

“You clueless idiot! It has never been human. Just an empty husk some of us pathetically attach humanity to!”

...how could he…

Even though he always spoke so highly of her…

He couldn’t even…

...see the pained little girl crying in front of him?

“Kid! Run! You’ve seen how little regard it has for human life!”

_ “Byrett, run… if you don’t, we will both die.” _

...maybe we deserved it. For ignoring a crying, lost, helpless child. No. I’m not running.

_ “Byrett, you— no, you’re not wrong. We can’t do this. I have an idea. I can feel it somewhere. My sword— our sword.” _

Huh?

_ “Don’t ask questions! Go! We may be able to save her yet! Through the wall! Now! It should be there! I can feel it!” _

After just a moment of hesitation, control of his body returned to Byrett. He moved as quickly as he possibly could. Past the wall. Darting his eyes around him. All he could see was the fallen Edelgard, and Byleth’s golden, chain-linked sword.

_ “Yeah! That. Grab it. Now!”  _ Byleth’s sword… huh?  _ “Don’t question it! Grab it! Go back! Sync your movements with mine! _ ” After a quick sprint, he grabbed that blade and moved right back. It hurt, but that didn’t matter. Mere ‘pain’ and ‘restrictions’ couldn’t hold him back! Not now! He moved back, and held Byleth’s sword at the ready. His body knew what to do. Somehow. Was this Sothis? Was she taking control of him? Was she moving for him? It… it didn’t matter.

All he had to do was follow her lead. And he spoke with her, in unison.

“Byleth!  _ By my power!  _ The Goddess’ power!  _ Sothis’ power!  _ I know you’re still in there.  _ Wake up! _ ”

The golden blade in his hand, and the very air around him, roared with a green energy. No different than what Byleth bore. The same green as Byleth’s hair!

“Come  _ back! _ Sublime  _ Heaven!” _

The sword extended, and my body moved automatically. I cut upwards, and with all my strength… I cut at my sisters’ back. Not to hurt her. But to save her. To clip those demonic wings, and to bring her back to reality. He swung the divine Sword of the Creator up, and all was swallowed in a cascade of green.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hoped you enjoyed the (hopefully!) climatic end to the first part of this fic! It might take a while to finish the next chapter, but not nearly as long as this. I'm sorry for the wait! Some real life stuff had me distracted! Thank you so much for reading and baring with me! ^^


	18. Chapter 18

No. Mere poison is not enough to slay the future Emperor Edelgard von Hresvelg. Even the hellish concoction created by those that slither within the darkest of Fódlan’s shadows cannot do more than force her into a temporary rest. Poison? Against her? How pathetic. Was this truly the most they could muster? Was this the best their ‘fearsome’ assassin could muster? If she could muster the strength to move, she would laugh. They couldn’t even knock her out right! Something of this meager calibur would never be enough to… enough to…

“Ah!”

After a dreamless daze, Edelgard snapped back to the world of reality. Were it not for the deliberating heaviness that burdened her body, she would’ve as much as leapt out of bed. Even the warmth of the blanket that had been drawn over her body was enough to halt her attempted escape.

“Good afternoon, Lady Edelgard.”

The first thing to bless her ears was her closest ‘servant’, Hubert. It didn’t quite bode well. Not only did his voice somehow sound even more sullen than usual. Whatever had happened, her adjutant probably wasn’t here for leisure. Edelgard kicked off her blanket, but before she could get out of her bed, Hubert had stood himself up. “My Lady, please refrain from any serious movement.”

“I don’t have the time to lay here and lick my wounds. I have important work to do.” 

But as Edelgard tried to drag herself onto her feet, her assistant put his hands on her shoulders. Not quite something he had ever dared do before. It was worrying. Rather than offering her usual objections, the baffled Edelgard sat herself down, her eyes locking straight at her assistant’s. “First, it would be best if you kept your voice down.” Hubert gestured to his left. Oh. Bernadetta. The fragile student had fallen asleep on one of the infirmary’s many chairs, head resting against a chiffonier. No one else appeared to be present. Good— this meant that Kronya likely hadn’t managed to injure anyone else. Or, no… had she gotten someone killed!? “My Lady. Your father sent you a… most unflattering letter.”

Urgh. One of Hubert’s least flattering traits. His overprotective nature led to some invasive disregard of her privacy. Edelgard dismissively shook her head, looking for whatever words she could scold him with.

“You misunderstand, my Lady.” Edelgard opened her mouth to object, but, again, she found herself awkwardly silenced as Hubert raised his hand. Yet he did not speak. He seemed content to let their awkwardness grow, if only for a few moments. “Forgive me, I’m at a loss for words.” How… unusually emotive? Even at his absolute best, his tact was at most comparable to a sharpened axe. “As of today, you’re no longer a part of the Imperial family. Your father has disowned you.”

Ah.

That’s...

Edelgard shook her head. “Is that all?” This was to be expected. It was one of the many risks she had happily taken upon herself. It meant nothing but a small delay of her planned revolution. She will still become Emperor. And her hands will still guide Fódlan to a better future. The burning sensation gathering in her throat was nothing but a sign of annoyance, at being delayed by yet another wave of her Father’s gross incompetence. It was no more than disappointment. It was nothing but disappointment. Edelgard knew this full well, and as, surely, did Hubert.

“My apologies, my Lady.” What for? The Edelgard that could be harmed by mere scratches had died long ago. This was nothing. “...It seems as if another copy of this letter was sent to Lady Rhea. She approached me this morning, and she seemed rather worried for your wellbeing. She offered you her full support.” Why did that matter?

“Are you treating me like a child, Hubert?” Edelgard scoffed. Why even bring up Rhea? Such news would doubtlessly reach the Archbishop’s ears. It might even help to score her sympathy. It could avoid undue bloodshed. The support of the Knights of Seiros could prove invaluable. Maybe she’d even be able to strike a hint of hesitation into Rhea’s heart. Any sort of weakening of their opposition would, surely… “I am your Emperor, Hubert. Not a lost child. I don’t care for being treated like one.”

“My apologies, Lady Edelgard. Those who slither in the dark have also contacted me. They instructed me to take your life if you as much as consider getting in their way again.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Hubert responded with a dark laugh. “My, my, Lady Edelgard. I’m quite happy to see your sense of humour has escaped all harm. I will live and die by your hand, my Lady.”

“Hnn? Hu.. Hubert? Is Edelgard…. Ah!” The sleeping onlooker shot wide awake, probably drawn to the world of the waking by Hubert’s grim laugh. She quickly shot to her feet, almost stumbling over her own chair in the process. She looked at Hubert, than at Edelgard, then back at Hubert, before nodding to herself. “You’re awake! You’re awake!” Bernadetta darted closer, before suddenly stepping right back in equal haste. “Ah! I-I gotta tell everyone! Don’t move! Hubert! Make sure she doesn’t move! Ah! Dorothea!” the comfort of relative silence had been broken, before aptly returning as Bernadetta left. Not for too long, though, because she soon returned, classroom in tow. Bernadetta even launched herself towards Edelgard, laying claim to her lap and whiningly nuzzling her head into Edelgard’s belly. “Edel… edel… Edelgard! I was so worried! We were so worrieeed!”

“Hah! Of course! I knew that my rival would never succumb to something as lowly as a mere toxin! If you were, it would bring great shame up-”

“Yeah, yeah, Ferdie, shut up. You’re gonna give her a headache.” Dorothea quickly interrupted the already-gloating Ferdinand. She wasn’t wrong, Ferdinand WAS starting to give her a headache. “Glad to see you’re okay, sweetheart.”

“I am also… happy. That your… hurt, it was not too bad.”

“Told ya! Nothing to worry about! She’s supposed to represent us!” Petra and Caspar added in, too. Even Linhardt was standing there, but rather than speaking, he was just disinterestedly yawning. Everyone was there. Everyone.

...everyone, except one person.

“Where’s Byleth?”

The rowdy mood turned silent. “Hubie, you hadn’t told her yet?” Dorothea shot the attendant a sharp glare. With an incredibly-obviously-fake smile fierce enough to sharpen the blade of her eyes on..

...wait, no, that’s not what she should be worried about. “Where.” Edelgard repeated, a fair hint more force behind her tone.

“She… hasn’t woken up.” Dorothea was the one to answer her question, gesturing at Hubert to leave. Before quickly making that exact same gesture at the rest of the men left in the room. They all obediently left. :Leaving the situation even more worrying. “Look, I’m sure she’ll be fine. She’s a strong gal.”

Not you, too, Dorothea. This isn’t the time to have tact. Edelgard tensed up— inadvertently pulling the girl that had crawled into her lap a bit tighter against her body. She just silently stared at Dorothea. Which, thankfully, was more than enough to goad an answer out of her classmate.

“It… uh. Edie, don’t be like that! Don’t give me those scary eyes! All I know is that she— well,I really have no clue! Byrett should know a little more..” Edelgard, again, tried to drag herself out of bed. But a combination of the Bernadetta-shaped weight on her lap and Dorothea’s hands quickly moving to shove her straight back down prevented her from making any progress. “And you can ask him -after- you get some rest.” Dorothea sat herself down right next to Edelgard, hands still locked onto her shoulders. Petra moved to Edelgard’s other side, joining, too, in holding her down. And the whining Bernadetta, well… urgh. Aside from Petra, none of the girls were all that strong. Edelgard could definitely just pull herself free if she really wanted to. Which, surely, she did, so…

Why? Why were they making it so difficult!? “I don’t have the time for this.” Edelgard sharply responded. How aggravating. The paralytic properties of the toxins had yet to clear her veins. Exasperating as their behaviour was, the former imperial princess’ body had yet to recover from yesterday’s ordeals.

“Edie, please. We, uh.” Dorothea gulped, as she gently pulled Edelgard’s head into the comfort of her bosom.

“Rhea told us what happened… Rhea told us what happened… We’re here for you! You’re our frie- frien…. Friend! You don’t have to pretend… it’s okay… if you wanna let it out.” Bernadetta nuzzled herself deeper into Edelgard’s weight. Hmph. ‘Pretend’? Edelgard needed not ‘pretend’. Something this daft could never breach her skin, let alone sink her heart. Their infantilizing behaviour was more likely to frustrate her to tears than her father’s stupidity was to sadden her. 

“Not just friends. You are… family.” Even Petra joined in on these unnecessary winds of conflict. Is this how Edelgard appeared, to those in her class? Some sort of fragile girl that needed this galling support forced upon her!? Countless objections coursed through her mind, but Edelgard soon realized that momentarily playing the troubled child was quite probably the only way to get these three problems to stop coddling her. Edelgard tossed out a quick ‘thank you’, before just waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Until they finally let her go. The awkward silence continued to linger for just a little bit longer, until all that happened was that Edelgard’s three visitors started just exchanging gazes between themselves. Bernadetta first pulled off Edelgard’s lap, to the safety of Dorothea’s side.

“Where is she.” Again, no less firm. If they were satisfied by the amount of emotional support they wanted to provide— Edelgard had something far more pressing to attend to. Nothing else mattered. Nothing but the safety of her guiding light. The warmth of that everburning green flame was all that had kept her heart from freezing. If something had happened to Byleth. If something had happened to Byleth. If something had happened, to Byleth? “Now.” Edelgard dragged her eyes down to Bernadetta. She was the frailest one in the group, and mere seconds of Edelgard’s glare was enough to cause a firm crack in her attitude.

“U-Upstairs! Rhea’s room! I’msorrypleasedon’thurtmewewerejustworried…” Bernadetta’s accelerating speech quickly turned into utter nonsense. Her other two classmates remained silent, even as Edelgard stepped past them. They had finally arrived at the loss of words they should’ve been at from the very start. Edelgard shot them one last look, if nothing more than to milk an apology past Dorothea’s lips, but she still remained silent. All her ‘closest friend’ and classmate could do was wrap herself around Bernadetta. Good. She had redirected that infuriating, infantilizing behaviour to someone that could actually appreciate it. 

“Ah, my Lady— your body isn’t fit to—”

Edelgard didn’t even need to speak to silence Hubert, who had been obediently waiting just past the infirmary’s door. Her lack of response quickly left him falling silent. Ferdinand and some similar annoyance too tried to catch her attention, but she had not the patience to even process their words. What mattered was Byleth. Byleth. Byleth. Her invincible Byleth. Her flawless Byleth. Her all-powerful Byleth.

Her hero, Byleth.

...Byleth was alright. She had to be. Edelgard shoved open Rhea’s door, ready to greet her now-girlfriend. Byleth was just being lazy. It wasn’t that ‘she couldn’t wake up’. It was that she hadn’t woken up. She was probably just waiting for Edelgard to drag her out of bad. Because that’s the kind of girl she could also be! Invincible, all-powerful, yet so clueless and silly. That’s the kind of girl Byleth is. That’s the kind of woman that Byleth Eisner is.

“Byleth!”

...if only it could be so easy. Nothing had ever been that easy, for Edelgard von Hresvelg.

Her almighty heroine lay in front of her. Unmoving. Tears of green littered her skin. “Byleth?” She had been changed to a patient’s gown. The transparent fabric did little to hide the green emitting from her skin. No, it wasn’t that. Whatever the green mass was, it had torn through her clothes. It was… growing from her body. Some sort of crystalline substance was just growing from her body. No, she was bleeding. She was bleeding all over. “Byleth?” she reached for Byleth’s hand, and-

Someone stopped her hand. Someone had grabbed her by the wrist, and pushed her away.

“She’ll be fine. All you can do now, is let her rest.”

It was Rhea. No, she hadn’t pushed her away. After letting go of her hand, the archbishop wrapped her digits around the former Hresvelg’s hand. Another display of unnecessary pity. And now, it was from one of her mortal enemies. One of the people responsible for creating this crest-crazed world. The student pulled herself back, but Rhea simply took another step closer, now wrapping the both of her arms around Edelgard. Acting so disgustingly familiar. So disgustingly close. As if she cared. As if she cared for Edelgard. As if she cared for Byleth. As if she cared. As if she cared.

“This is all your fault.”

“I know, my child.

“Now, Byleth, too… everything is your fault. Your fault! The Church’s fault! Everything. Everything. Everything!”

No more but a young adult, standing with the person she hated the absolute most. Everything was the fault of the Church! Everything! Humanity’s obsession with Crests! All the torture Edelgard had suffered! No, not just Edelgard! Countless people! Countless! They’re all Rhea’s fault! All of it. Every last bit. And now, Byleth, too… 

“I know, my child.”

Rhea wasn’t even denying it! She was admitting it! Admitting that everything was her fault! Because it was! Absolutely all of it can be traced back to the church! And with it, the current Archbishop that so refused to change! Rhea is the sworn enemy of humanity. Rhea is the antithesis of progress! ‘Ally with her’? ‘Get on her good side’? Don’t make me laugh. Rhea. She’s responsible for all of this, and she doesn’t... 

“Unhand me, now!”

But Rhea didn’t let go. Even as Edelgard sunk her hands into Rhea’s, she couldn’t get her to tear away. Some sort of absurd strength was keeping the archbishop locked onto her. Wasn’t she supposed to be physically weak!? Why couldn’t someone as strong as the imperial princess break free from what was a mere hug!? 

“I’m sorry. I can’t do that.”

You dare!? You dare touch me!? I’ll kill you! A rage more overpowering than any she had ever felt surged through her heart. She reached for her side. Hand dipped into her uniform. Grabbing onto the singular self-defense weapon even a sleeping Edelgard would always have on her. Fine. This was going to have to happen, anyway! Edelgard’s revolution is not be one of unnecessary bloodshed! Rhea’s is a life she would have to take anyway! Anyway! Anyway! With her alive, the only thing that can happen is regression. It had to happen, anyway. It had to happen. She had no hesitation. She had no doubts. This was the right thing to do.

And the sharp dagger Edelgard had drawn.

...was quickly buried… in Rhea’s side. But even as the disgusting sound of pierced skin rang through the chambers, she didn’t cry. She didn’t whine. She didn’t gasp for air. She didn’t even let go of Edelgard. And just held her, quietly. Why was she still holding onto her, this tightly!? Why was this woman obsessed with making everything worse!? Even in a situation like this, even when she should be in agonizing pain!

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I don’t mind. It’s okay.”

...what was she…

“You’re… my daughter’s girlfriend. Being angry at you… would make her unhappy.”

‘Your daughter’!? Don’t be asinine! I just stabbed you! Let go of me!

“You’re in pain. It’s okay to lash out. Your family just abandoned you. Your father revoked all of his support for your identity.”

Rhea finally just let go. She just let go and stepped back. Sitting on her bed, right next to Byleth. She grasped at Edelgard’s dagger, and just withdrew it from her skin. It bled. It bled enough to dye her silvern a deep crimson. Without even wincing or unlocking her eyes from Edelgard, she ran her hand across the grotesque wound. A simple application of magic was enough to cease further bleeding.

And she just… handed the dagger back to Edelgard. Still covered in her very own blood. The disgraced princess stood before one of the very people that stood in the way of a bloodless future, and all she could do was silently take her own blade back. This situation— the entire everything—

“Why?”

“Must I repeat myself? You’re my daughter’s girlfriend.”

No. Byleth isn’t your daughter. That’s not right. She’s the twin sister of Byrett, child of Jeralt, born to Sitri. Regardless of how you adopted Byrett, she is not your daughter!

“Has Hubert informed you of what has happened since you’ve fallen asleep?” As Rhea spoke, she placed one of her hands besides herself. Tapping her fingers away at the bedding beneath. Edelgard quickly shook her head ‘no’, to which Rhea responded with an aggravating sigh. “Sit with me, Edelgard. I’m sure that’s what Byleth would want. You may even hold her hand, if you must.”

Tch. Did every last person in Garreg Mach have to be like this? Edelgard is- was, the princess of Adrestia. She needed not be treated like a child. If only to end her infuriating yappering, Edelgard sat down next to her. “If you MUST know, he did inform me of my father’s decision to banish me from the royal family. Is that what you wanted to hear? Do you want me to cry and grovel for you to accept me into your family?”

“Ah. So, you haven’t read the letter, yourself?”

“What of it?”

Rhea, again, reached for Edelgard’s hand. Edelgard quickly shuffled a few steps over, hopefully leaving her disdain obvious to Rhea.

“Do you know why you have been expelled?”

My father’s incompetence? Edelgard shrugged. That wasn’t quite important.

“It was because your dealings with those who slither in the dark were discovered. They had apparently captured one of their many agents, and they confessed to all of your dealings and cooperation with them. From the torture you endured to take my mother’s brand, to the plans you had for the future fo Adrestia. Your desires to lead a revolution. Your willingness to spill blood. Your plans to assassinate Dimitri and Claude. And even your scheme to take my life. Had Seteth intercepted this message, you would’ve already been executed. You, Hubert, and whoever else that may be connected to your ambitions.”

...what? Then why, didn’t you… all the silverette could do was mouth a silent ‘why’.

“I already told you. Because you’re my daughter’s girlfriend.”

Again, pity!? Edelgard leapt to her feet and swiped her arm to the side. Her domineering presence caving onto Rhea. “Does your condescension know no bounds, Archbishop!? I’ve had more than enough of your insincere behaviour! What do you want? Do you want me to beg for your forgiveness? Do you want me to weep out an apology!? No. Archbishop, you are my enemy. I will never— NEVER grovel before you!”

“I’m sorry.”

“What!?”

“The most puzzling thing about the letter was that it wasn’t addressing you. It listed a different name, and accused you of merely pretending to be this nonexistent ‘Edelgard von Hresvelg’. I had an… altercation with Hubert, this very morning. After settling that situation, I asked him what your father may have meant by this. And for that I do apologize. I had no need to know, nor did I have the right to ask about your identity. So, once again, I am sorry, Edelgard.”

Damn right you needn’t know that! Was this what she was leading up to? “I’m not foolish enough to engage with your tepid behaviour. We are enemies, Archbishop. If you had read my ambitions, you doubtlessly know that your head will be first to fall.”

“I have. I understand. That doesn’t matter.”

“Those words beget arrogance, Archbishop! Do you assume me incapable? Or are you simply caught in a delusion? A delusion that this will be enough for me to forge my better world?”

“I would never assume that. I know this isn’t much more than a setback to someone like you.”

“Then what? Are you attempting to flatter your way out of this?”

“You really do misunderstand, Edelgard. I’m here, for you. You are my daughter’s most important person, and you’re in pain. That’s all that matters.”

‘Here for me’? You condescending… “The Edelgard von Hresvelg that shed tears-”

“—died long ago? No. Edelgard von Hresvelg died today. The girl that stands before me is just a lost, lonely child. Screaming in anger, and deep down, crying in pain.”

“How dare you---”

“...El… nhoo…”

Huh? Byleth!? The enraged girl instantly fell silent. Her injured lover was meekly pawing her hand at her El. All of Edelgard’s enmity instantly faded, as she quickly sat herself next to the one person she loved, quickly grabbing onto her needy, red-hot hand. God, she was burning up. Even hotter than she had been on that one morning. It hurt to hold onto her, but Byleth needed this. A little pain wouldn’t be enough to stop the former princess for comforting her lover. “I’m here.”

“Noo… noo fighting… Be happy… happy… cute happy… no fighting… ”

“Shh. We weren’t fighting. Everything is okay.” The poor thing was talking in her sleep. She sounded like a sick child that could only stutter to her parents. No doubt her mind was filled with none but delirium. She soon, once again, fell silent, and Edelgard gently put her hand back to her side, before gently trailing one hand to her cheek. Brushing a bit of her green hair away from her forehead.

...hmm?

No, wait.

It wasn’t all green. A few streaks of blue were scattered through her hair. Were these always here? No. They stand out pretty clearly. Edelgard wouldn’t have missed a detail as blatant at this. But then, why was her hair…? This, the green scars, what is happening to her? And why were Crest Stones still growing from her wounds? It was as if her body was rejecting her Crest. As if she was becoming a Crest Beast. But, no. That entire process occurs in minutes, not days. And the only reason a Crest would ever reject someone’s body, is…

No. It couldn’t be that. Byleth didn’t bear the scars of the operation. Her hair still had that vibrant colour, even if bits were fading to a darker blue. That wasn’t even a remote possibility. Even someone like Byleth wouldn’t be able to escape the countless side-effects and scars that come with the procedure. If she had undergone the procedure, she would be more similar to her and Lysithea than to the self she was now.

“Is this your doing?”

“I would never harm my own daughter.”

‘Daughter’. Daughter. You keep saying that word. You keep pretending to have some sort of connection to Byleth. It’s utterly pathetic. She isn’t your daughter. Stop being so pathetic. Were it not for Byleth’s gentle pleads, she would’ve already returned to yelling at Rhea. “Would you please stop trying to pretend Byleth is your family? It has long crossed from merely annoying into outright pathetic.”

“Because she IS my daughter, Edelgard. She has always been. My blood runs through her veins.”

Edelgard shook her head. No. That’s just stupid. Was she trying to imply she gave birth to twins and somehow managed to convince everyone that some unrelated person was the real mother? “I believe all of Garreg Mach would know if you had given birth to twins.”

Rhea sighed and shook her head. “No. Byrett really is Sitri’s son. And Byrett really did have a twin sister. They were both stillborn. Byrett managed to recover, the girl did not. After Sitri’s passing, my affair with Jeralt became public knowledge. Almost two years later, I became pregnant.” Rhea paused, took a deep breath, before again continuing. “If those of the Church had come to discover that their very own Archbishop was having a child out of wedlock, I— and the church— would’ve been disgraced. So we left on a six month sabbatical, and when we returned, we simply proclaimed that the Goddess had returned Jeralt’s second child to him. A few weeks later, Jeralt disappeared with my child. All he left was one note. That he had taken ‘Byleth’ and was returning to his former job as a mercenary.” Again, a short pause. “Byleth was not the name we chose for our child. He had taken my child, and changed her name to that of his deceased wife’s stillborn child. Over the later years, we reconciled and started our relationship anew. While Jeralt would not let me see my daughter, he told constant stories about her as she grew up. And I simply accepted his behaviour, as I was so blinded by love, and because his drunken self kept telling me how he wanted to reunite our family.”

...What? No. It wasn’t that difficult to follow, and the only thing that really mattered was that— if this wasn’t yet another one of Rhea’s lies— Byleth was Rhea’s daughter, and Jeralt had kidnapped her from her mother. The real question is… “If it is so scandalous for you to have a child out of wedlock, why would you tell me? What makes you believe I won’t just tell everyone about this? Are you planning to keep me quiet by threatening to out me?”

“No. I just want to trust you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re my daughter’s girlfriend.”

Again, with that infuriating response! It answered nothing! Absolutely nothing! Edelgard clicked her tongue and gently sat herself up. Her painfully burnt hands screaming in agony as she raised herself to her feet. Edelgard, however, didn’t even budge. It was nothing compared to how much she had suffered. It was nothing.

“Edelgard?” The silverette left her with no response. “Please take good care of my Byleth. Even if your relationship ends up falling apart, please continue supporting her.” No, their relationship would not fall apart. Don’t even entertain that thought, wench. “Underneath her all-powerful exterior lays a girl painfully similar to her pretend-mother. She’s faint of heart, prone to illness, and prone to… this. Were Sitri not such a kind person, I’d accuse her of haunting us from the grave.” Rhea showed a faint smile, and grew quiet.

“So this? Is this another one of Sitri’s ails?” It hurt her pride to ask something— anything, of Rhea, but… if Sitri had this, they may know how to take care of it, right?

“No. According to Jeralt, this is simply something that happens to her every now and then. After a few nights of rest, she’s supposed to return to normal. All we can do is wait, and not worry.” Rhea rose from the bed, patting down her dress to remove the many crumples that had set into the fabric. “Even so, it’s impossible for a mother not to worry. Especially when these symptoms are so similar to Crest rejection. If only Hanneman was still alive…”

Yeah. These symptoms are definitely extraordinarily similar to Crest rejection. Some of Edelgard’s siblings flashed through this minutes before losing their humanity. It was impossible for a girlfriend not to worry, too. Especially with the countless she had seen die because of this. How could she not worry? She had to worry.

“Can you show me your palms, Edelgard?”

Edelgard silently extended her hands, and Rhea moved her own. A hint of red magic washed away the burns and blisters that had formed on her skin. Such was the convenience of healing magic.

“Please. You can let her rest. I’ll watch over her. You, too, need to get your own rest. You need to come to terms with your emotions.”

“There’s nothing to come to terms with.”

“I believe you. But still, your body needs to rest.”

Okay. Edelgard silently stepped away, out of the room. Rest? How could she rest right now? There was plenty to do—

No, there wasn’t.

She needed to confront Hubert for so easily outing her to Rhea, and—

No. She didn’t need to.

There had to be something. Something other than worrying for Byleth. Not that there’s any need to worry for Byleth. IF it was something to worry about, Jeralt would be here. He clearly loved his daughter. He wouldn’t stop talking about his daughter. There is no doubt that he loved his daughter. There is no doubt that Jeralt Eisner unconditionally loved Byleth Eisner. There is no need to worry, if he hadn’t worried.

...so what’s with this blazing nausea? It felt much worse than the blistering heat that had just scorched her hands. Was she that worried about Byleth?

Yeah. It had to be that.

...because there’s no way something as stupid as her useless father’s antics would ever disturb her.

And there’s no way it would ever hurt for her enemy to care more for her identity than the one that fathered her.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! A lot of things have been going on in my life that have made it hard to write. A short and sloppy chapter, I hope it isn't too bad! Here's some very minor story advances as I work on my next chapter ;_; which will be a lot longer and have a lot more content. The wait shouldn't be this long again~!

Are you alright, Edelgard? Are you safe? You are, right? You’re still alive? Of course you are. You beat the poison. You’re just fine. You’ll always be fine. Because I love you. Because you’re the one that makes me happy. I’ve known you for so little time, but I already know you make me beyond happy. Is that what it means to be in love? Probably. Something like that. Yeah! That’s what it means to be in love. That’s also what all those books said! That’s what my father said! I’m just so uselessly in love with you. I don’t want to do anything but hold you. I don’t want to talk to anyone but you. I don’t want to be with anyone but you. I don’t want you to be with anyone but me. But… I guess it’s okay. She’ll be better for you. She’ll actually be able to protect you. She’s a Goddess, you know? Goddesses are supposed to be really strong! Or something! And… like. I dunno. I want you to be safe. I want you to be happy. I’ll be here. Inside of her heart. I’m happy I got to call you my ‘girlfriend’, even if it was for just a day.

...I miss you, Edelgard…

...will you even notice it… if she takes over? That it isn't me? Even though she looks just like me… even though she’s just as strong as me… 

I’m really tired. I want to sleep. Sothis told me to sleep. So I’ll sleep. She’ll… keep you safe like I couldn’t.

I’m so tired.

...I love you, Edelgard.

\---

Rest? Rest!? How was Edelgard supposed to rest, given the current conditions!? The power to change the world laid firmly within Edelgard’s hands. All she had to do was wait, wait for the perfect occasion to set her plans in motion. The strings of tension pulled across Fódlan were not yet tight enough for a scheme of her magnitude to succeed. A war without casus belli would be admonished and resisted by the citizens of Adrestia. Mere untruths would not be enough to energize those among the common folk of the country. A war unwanted by the citizens of the aggressor was a war on a doomed path. The military power of Adrestia is far from vast enough to quickly dominate the remaining countries. For an unjust war to succeed, it must be won before the weariness of war can reach the common folk of Adrestia, a time measured in weeks rather than years. The military would have to dedicate portions of its manpower to keeping those of common birth under their control. Not only would that fall in direct opposition with her ideals, it would leave the military crippled in a situation which they would need every single soldier they could muster. Edelgard held no objections to temporarily swallowing her ideals for a future greater good, but.. If the war happened too early, there would be no ‘greater good’. Her war would be remembered as no more than the madness of a young Emperor, for it would be no more than that. It would be naught but a simple waste.

Have those who slither in the darkness grown tired of her ‘hesitance’? Were those fools too immature to grasp the delicacies of her plan? No, that couldn’t be. While those snakes had abandoned their humanity, they had yet to abandon their intelligence. There was no doubt that they had some grand reason to rid their plans of any involvement of Edelgard. Had they discovered her plans to rid the world of those in Fódlan’s shadows the very moment they stopped being of convenient use to her? No— were it that, she would’ve never returned to the realm of the waking. Edelgard still had her life. They would surely execute her for direct opposition. Either her use had run to an end and taking her life would cause more problems than it would solve, or they simply expected her to innocently play along with whatever ultimate plan they had made for her.

What is it that those devils desire? Why would they— ah. Edelgard’s ire was cut short by a surge of discomfort, one that quickly bloomed into pain. Edelgard clung to the railing by her side, lest she tumble down the stairs at her feet. This was no more than a common ail. The result of her twin crests attempting to tear themselves from Edelgard’s flesh. But the pain was no more than that; pain. It would eventually subside.The former princess closed her eyes, and let it wash through her. She had long grown used to it. The sensation of her very blood growing fangs and attempting to escape from the prison of her veins. Her body was one of many blasphemies. Two crests cannot coexist, so they must fight. Fight to rid Edelgard’s body of the other. 

Ironic, is it not? Edelgard’s body is nothing but a microcosm of Fódlan’s itself. A set of superpowers struggling their very utmost to gain control over their one property. And if they could not unify, they would tear their world apart. Unlike Fódlan— the powers struggling within her body would never be united in true peace. For only the power of humans— not the force of gods— can lead to peace. The pain that spiked through her body slowly faded, as the powers within grew to a temporary truce. The war within her body would bloom again. Today? Tomorrow? It mattered not. All she knew is that it would happen again and again. Until her body finally tears itself apart, and she dies from the strain of her blessings. A day that would hopefully come long after Fódlan’s final reunification. Even without the lofty title of Hresvelg, Edelgard would still become the one to unify Fódlan.

Dimitri and Claude may still prove themselves useful yet. The last three years of her life had been carefully spent forging bonds that may prove useful in the upcoming war. Her efforts were meant for nothing more than to inspire hesitance within her enemies. Surely one of them could be manipulated into granting Edelgard a position that would let her continue her ambitions? The dim-witted Dimitri seemed like an especially easy target— he even seemed to have some disgusting fascination with Edelgard. It may be as simple as outing her newfound ‘vulnerabilities’ to him, maybe even feigning enough trust to expose her gender identity to him. With Byleth indisposed, that ‘gallant’ knight would surely do his best to provide his unwelcome emotional support. 

A setback this minor would not halt her plans. A setback this minor would do no more than stall her plans.

“Lady Edelgard, are you alright?” A familiar voice ripped Edelgard straight back out of the palace of her plans. A certain young male teacher was standing in front of her. Holding onto her shoulders. Wait, why? Edelgard’s eyes darted about, only to notice she was no longer standing right in front of Rhea’s door. Her numbed feet were both barely resting on the lowermost stairstep. Ah. She must’ve fallen. The torture of her Crests often scramble her senses. This was not uncommon, albeit their timing could certainly not be worse.

“I think, the poison…” Edelgard quickly responded with an excuse. He needed not know about the fragile state of her body. Gathering whatever meekness she could, Edelgard slowly tilted her head up. Forcing a vulnerable expression as her lover’s faux brother helped her regain her footing. She pretended to avoid eye contact for a few seconds to add to her vulnerable charade, before finally letting her eyes lock onto his.

...hmm?

Now that she was actually looking at him, it was clear that something was very off. His hair, it had changed. No more was it one singular mess of unkempt blue. As Byleth’s hair had become tainted with streaks of blue, so had his with green.

“Hmm? What’s— oh,my hair?” Byrett spoke up, and Edelgard gave him a quick nod. “I… sorry, I don’t know what happened. All I know is that after my sister ran rampant, my hair got a little greener, and her hair got a little more blue.” Ah. Hmm. That’s, quite…. Actually, no. Edelgard had no idea what to think. Her own hair went pale because of the stress of her crest transfusion, but why would one’s hair change to a different colour entirely? As Edelgard mused, Byrett remained quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Until, finally— “I’m sorry, it’s my fault that Byleth got hurt.” words that quickly snapped Edelgard back to reality. How very much like him, to take ‘credit’ for an unrelated failing. He had always had this sort of annoying tendency to drag unrelated blame onto him, so Edelgard couldn’t take what he said seriously for even a split second.

“What is it that happened to her?”

“I don’t know. She went… completely berserk, and tried to kill our father. I grabbed onto her sword, and did… whatever I could, to calm her down.” Byrett gestured towards a nearby window. Wait, what? Edelgard was a little too baffled to ask for questions, and instead quickly moved to the window as she was told.

...ah.

I… see. It was only barely illuminated by the daybreak’s blessings. A part of town had been sectioned off, in the midst of it lay a small crater. “I… hit her as hard as I could. I didn’t mean to hurt her, but I didn’t want her to hurt our father, either!” Byrett held his arms up in front of his chest, as if apologizing for what he did. Edelgard shook her head. That little dummy would’ve certainly wished to be stopped. She couldn’t even fault him for excessive force— considering how overwhelmingly powerful Byleth was.

...even so, her ability to reason could not entirely prevent feelings of anger from bubbling up within her heart. Unjust it may be, but so be the human heart. They are but mere emotions to ignore, and she swallowed her frustrations by simply staring outside a little longer. “Where is your father?”

“I haven’t seen him since everything that happened yesterday, sorry… he may be off on a mission.”

How inconvenient. Edelgard sighed and shook her head. Her concerns for Byleth must wait until he returns, then. Even if she were to wake up tonight, tomorrow… it mattered not. She needed answers.


	20. Chapter 20

“Good morning, Professor.”

“U-um, morning....”

It had become routine.

“Good morning, Professor.”

“Ah, morning!”

For every day to start out like this.

“Good morning, my teacher.”

“Morning!”

It was quite pleasant.

“Good morning, my teacher.”

“Good morning Edelgard!”

To start your every day with the one who stole your heart wishing you a ‘good morning’

“Good morning, my teacher.”

“Ah! S-Sorry! Morning! I… um… have to go…”

It was so simple.

“Good morning, Byleth.”

It was no more than a simple greeting.

“Good morning, Byleth.”

...so why did it hurt?

“Good morning, Byleth.”

Her lack of response?

“Good morning, Byleth.”

Her unmoving body?

“Good morning, Byleth.”

“Good morning, Byleth.”

“Good morning, Byleth.”

“Good morning, Byleth.”

“Good morning, Byleth.”

Byleth probably hadn’t even realized it had become routine. Why would she? Why would anyone? It was no more than a simple formality. It required no real thought. It was no more than a simple courtesy, a greeting before their classes were to officially start. Now— all those words did was remind her of Byleth’s mental absence. Even if her body laid resting in Rhea’s room, she would never respond. After that very first night, she had not once uttered even a single word. Edelgard visited her every morning. She greeted her, sat with her, and quietly remained in her presence as she fixed up her own hair.

It had become a new routine. Her very first routine as Byleth’s girlfriend— yet it brought her no joy. Two weeks had already passed, without the slightest hint of improvement. Their temporarily suspended classes had even already started to resume. The three houses were temporarily abolished, and the twenty-four special students were now all taught by Byrett with assistance from Shamir and Catherine. Even without Byleth, life at Garreg Mach would continue.

...even if Edelgard’s had come to a complete halt, the lives of everyone around her simply continued. While everyone’s faces were tainted with various shades of worry, those outside of the Black Eagles did not let it distract from their every day. Their worries were instead placed on the now-former princess, as news of her disownment became public knowledge. Even those from outside of her class confronted her with faux words of comfort. Even that dimwitted Dimitri— he dared offer to bestow upon her a title of nobility the moment he ascended to take the throne of Faerghus, all while showing Edelgard a disgusting smile. As if he enjoyed Edelgard’s current predicament. He had always shown some sort of unpleasant familiarity around Edelgard.

Foolish.

Byrett had even gave her permission to ‘skip school’. As if he were talking to a child that had just lost their mother. It was insulting, at best. While his thoughts seemed far more genuine than the prince’s, it really was as if they saw her as nothing but a child. Her. Edelgard. The one who had vowed to revolutionize this unjust world. They held not the slightest bit of respect for her, now that her title of nobility had been stripped away. It was just another example of how nobility and birthright cursed our beautiful world. This plague— it must be eradicated. And it shall be.

I’ve sworn to end it all. Even if doing so leaves me suffocating in the bloods of countless innocents. If I do not, the last five years of my life will be left without meaning. If I cannot drag our world forward, my birth eighteen years ago will have been nothing but a mistake. I had long accepted that I need nor desire any happiness. For all my life must accomplish is the creation of a new— a purer world. Minor setbacks will not stop me. They do not stop me.

...so why?

Why do I spend days unable to drag myself out of bed? My resolve has not faded. My strength has not diminished. My body is merely refusing to cooperate with me. Forcing me to linger on, when I must continue moving forward. I will not give in to the cowardice attempting to corrupt my physical form. I must simply continue. Until I succeed.

Yet another day had passed, and Edelgard simply laid in her bed. It was Saturday. She had no plans for the day. Even though day had long broken, she had yet to leave her room. There was no reason to leave, today. Nothing of use could be accomplished today. So why move? Why leave her bed?

“Oh, Edie? Still locked in your room? Good news, sweetie. Jeralt’s finally back.”

Dorothea’s words are what finally snapped Edelgard from her lethargic trance. It wasn’t as if the energy drained from body and soul had miraculously returned; it was more as if the fog that left her path forward impassable finally faded. Even if Jeralt couldn’t directly help further her ambitions—

...then why did she care? He cannot further her ambitions. He cannot assist in returning Byleth to proper health. There was no point in talking to him. He would bring naught but useless intelligence. Questioning him held no purpose, none at all. And yet— and yet still she moved with more determination than she had done since the day her status had been shattered. She quickly switched from sleepwear to her Garreg Mach uniform, and spent a precious few moments tidying up her hair. She didn’t quite care about whether she seemed presentable or not, but she couldn’t shake that simple habit. As soon as she was ready, Edelgard stepped out of her room.

“Where is he?”

“Wow, not even a good morning? How ru—”

Edelgard had no patience for Dorothea’s usual flirty silliness, and quickly barked out a “Now.” That fool was prone to disappearing! She didn’t quite have the time to enjoy small-talk with Dorothea.

“Oh. He said he was here to visit Rhea—” Edelgard nodded and bolted off. She had to hurry. Because he would probably leave again, soon. That’s the only reason she was moving hastily, right? Yeah. Logically speaking; his habit of disappearing for weeks or months on end made this a time-sensitive situation. Ergo, she must hurry.

...who are you trying to fool, Edelgard? You understand very well that simply worried sick about Byleth. It is natural, and human, for someone to prioritize the one you love. Even if she would never let Byleth endanger her ideals— even if she would never let Byleth get in the way of her ideals—— this is still a point of weakness. A sickening fragility; one of many that Edelgard von Hresvelg had tossed aside. As Edelgard reached the cafeteria, she halted in her tracks.

...is this setting a dangerous precedence?

To follow her human heart, rather than dragging her body down the path of progress?

...no. No. This is not correct. These worries hold no merit, Edelgard. You’ve never had to doubt your own actions. Before everything else— more than simply being her beloved partner, Byleth is also her greatest asset in any sort of upcoming conquest. Her inspirational strength would be enough to gather an army, let alone her own prowess. This is no more than drawing closer and sinking her claws deeper and deeper into her greatest investment. Even if guided by the flimsiness of her human heart, this was most certainly the correct choice.

Edelgard’s attempts to drown out her own heart were quickly swallowed by a thump of flesh-on-wood. Edelgard reflexively stepped to the side to remain out of anyone’s sight, before carefully peaking in. Ah. There he was. Jeralt, conversing with Rhea. The only two people left in the large dining hall. His open palm had slammed down with enough force on the dining table to leave a noticeable dent in the framework— one hefty enough to clearly be visible to Edelgard. She couldn’t quite understand what they were saying, but they were clearly whispering hushed shouts. How inconvenient— had they not the decency to keep their voices so under control, Edelgard, and all of Garreg Mach, would be more-than privy to their lovers’ quarrel.

“Hey, Hresvelg brat. We can see you. If you wanna’ eavesdrop, at least TRY to stay out of sight.” Ah. Caught. “C’mere, kid. This concerns you, too. Be a good kid and get over here, before I lose my patience.” He took a large swig of the oversized glass sitting on that now-dented table. Intoxicated before the sun has even fully taken to the sky, how charming. Jeralt’s relationship with alcohol was no secret, but this was definitely the first time she had seen him drink this openly. And this early. Edelgard shook her head before approaching, as she was asked. Intoxicated or not, Edelgard had questions. And the magical sway of alcohol might even help loosen his lips.”I know ya got questions for me, I just got one for you, first.” Rhea’s eyes suddenly turned to Jeralt, and she gave him the sharpest glare Edelgard had ever seen her eyes take.

“So, ‘ya really happy fuckin’ a corpse? ‘Cause that’s all Sothea is.”

“Jeralt!” Rhea quickly interjected.

“You stay quiet! We owe it to the brat to tell her what it really is.”

‘Sothea’? Wait, was that the ‘birth name’ Rhea had mentioned? That wasn’t the relevant part. That wasn’t what bothered Edelgard. She must’ve misheard. Because there’s no way he just referred to his daughter as ‘a corpse’ or ‘it’. Let alone his vulgar statement about his very own daughter. Edelgard opened her mouth to speak— and would’ve, were the only words that came to her not sharp insults. Those daggers had to wait, at least until Edelgard got her answers.

“Cat got your tongue? Lemme just repeat— Sothea died seventeen years ago. The second daughter I had to bury. Shouldn’t have let those bastards try to save her. They just turned her into that fuckin’ thing! They just jammed something into her heart, and turned her corpse into a weapon. And just look at it! It even pretended to grow up, and now it looks just like fuckin’ Sitri! It’s just a monster. A Crest Beast that thinks it’s human. It’s a fuckin’ riot, ain’t it?”

Edelgard remained silent. Ah. so she didn’t misunderstand him. He really is just a gross, disgusting person. He’s no different from—

“Wouldn’t recommend it, kid. Draw that dagger, and you’re losin’ your hand.”

...draw that… huh? When did she… Edelgard hadn’t even noticed that her fingers had moved to the clothed-hilt of her trusted dagger. With a soft ‘tch’, she moved her hand back away. Byleth’s parents both seemed to have the ability to get under Edelgard’s skin. Far deeper under her skin than she thought possible. Far deeper under her skin than she could even realize.

:”Byleth is my—” As soon as Edelgard spoke, she was interrupted by the drunken Jeralt.

“Sothea is your?” he viciously interjected. But in return, Rhea cut him right back.

“Jeralt!”

“What? She never even MET Byleth. Byleth was dead by the time she was born. Don’t you think that its girlfriend deserves to know its’ name?”

With each word, the amount of venom in Jeralt’s voice grew. As did his insistence on dehumanizing Byleth. Every infuriating word he spoke brought Edelgard one step closer to losing her calmth. To think that Jeralt, who had long pretended to hold genuine care for his daughter, would respect her identity less than Edelgard’s father did to her own. Edelgard took a deep breath, followed by a sharp exhale. You only have to suffer his presence for just a few moments longer. As she spoke, Jeralt took another gulp of his glass. Rather, he drained everything that remained. The awkward silence lasted for a good ten seconds longer, before Edelgard finally managed to swallow enough of her pride to ask him.

“What can I do to help her?”

“You just… just… let her crests fight it out.” Wait, ‘crests’? Jeralt’s voice dropped, from toxic to sullen. “She’ll be fine. She always is. She’s a strong kid. All she needs is time. Just a little more time. She’s… Sothea —no, Byleth always just needs time. I could drop that child in a forest and leave her for a year, and she’d be fine. Just make sure she stays hydrated. And she’ll be fine.” Gone was all the animosity he held before. Now there was nothing but a pathetic old man, staring into his empty mug. “I don’t want to lose her for a third time, kid. Take care of her. Don’t really know why you’ve always had this much interest in her, but I’m sure you’ll take better care of her than I did.”

That’s right. Jeralt couldn’t hate his daughter.

...he’s simply just that much more emotionally crippled than both of his children combined. It far from excuses the terrible things he said, but…

...no.

There is no ‘but.’ Edelgard put her hand on her hip, and sharply responded. “I will. I vowed to be hers, as so she vowed to be mine. As I stand as Emperor over United Fódlan, she will be the Empress by my side. Unlike you, I refuse to abandon her at our very first hints of strife.”

“‘Atta girl. Now, do me one last favour?”

“What?”

“Make sure she doesn't... find out, about that lil' fit. She's already convinced she's some sort of monster. Don't let her find out she actually is.”


	21. Chapter 21

No matter how strong I am, the Verdant Rain Moon of Imperial Year 1186 will eventually arrive, and tragedy will split us apart. No matter how hard I fight to stand by your side, only one of us will see the clouds fade into the next month’s daybreak. We are the bearers of the Crest of Flames, and one of us needs to be extinguished to welcome Fódlan into a new era..

But I won’t accept this. I absolutely WON’T accept this.

I WILL join you in the beautiful future that awaits us past those storms. We will smile together, grow old together, and eventually die together. That is the only future I will accept.

Every discarded Fódlan taught me how to become more in sync with my previous self. I grew from an eternal observer into a being of influence. Sothis’ mind became mine, and I whispered guidance into the ears of the younger ‘me’. I eventually grew strong enough to maintain my sense of self as the soul of ‘Sothis’ fused with that of that ‘Byleth’. And then, eventually, I learned how to take control. Leaving my past self in a state of non-existence as I continued my fight to arrive at that happy future with Edelgard.

But it still wasn’t enough. Even with the foresight of a thousand attempts, the full strength of a divine being, and the miraculous gifts of a Goddess, I couldn’t change our fate. One of us would die. And I would have to try again.

And again.

And again.

I’ve grown so tired. With every pulse across the tides of time, I found myself awakening within the new Byleth a little later. I stopped re-experiencing my childhood. I lost sight of my teenage years. I thought I had simply gotten greater control over my divinity. Until it started eating away at the time I had with Edelgard. Being able to observe her smile was what gave me this strength. And… I grew unable to.

Before you, my current host?

I woke up with the war in full bloom. My previous self had sided with Dimitri. And her heart held not a single hint of love for Edelgard. It wasn’t like I had never joined up with Dimitri in an attempt to create our better future, but even when I did, my heart still held a strong flame for Edelgard. Even as I once wanted to give up, and let my life continue without her...

How many times has my body gone through the motions, without me ever regaining consciousness? How many times have I failed Edelgard? How many times have I KILLED Edelgard? My father stopped counting his age past a hundred years, I stopped counting my failures at a thousand.

I opposed Edelgard one final time. And as she struck her axe to take my life, I prayed to the Goddess with all my heart. I screamed as hard as I could, for Sothis to please give me one more chance. To let me use her powers, just one more time. To give me a final Fódlan. In which Byleth Eisner would be able to share her entire life with Edelgard von Hresvelg.

...Time is like a mirror, and my many attempts have broken it into a billion pieces. This is the final fragment my torn-up hands can reach, before I bleed out. I bet my everything on you. I bet my everything on this final you. The strength, experience and pain of over thousand years runs through your veins.

...this final piece is just another dud. And all I can do is bleed out. Because you refuse to let me take over your body.

You are a failure. You, my reborn self, are an absolute failure. 

Even with the strength I’ve given you, you can’t protect Edelgard.

Do you even love Edelgard? No, you don’t. You’re just mistaking my feelings for your own. If you really loved Edelgard, you would let go of your body. And let me take over. But you won’t. You’re still fighting me. Tired? Don’t make me laugh. Why else would I not be able to take control of my own body? By the fragment of the warped Crest of Flames that rests in your heart, I should be able to do whatever I want. But you keep fighting me. Something within you, keeps fighting me! Accept your fate and die, my most pathetic self! So I can save Edelgard! Let go of my body, so I can save Edelgard! You have wasted thousands of years of my life, with your incompetence!

I will burn your soul, and leave you as less than ashes.

...are you even listening, my most disappointing creation!?

YOU are a failure. You have failed not only me, but Edelgard, too! You don’t deserve my name. Even though my thousand previous selves have all shared the same birth, your body is weaker! You need your glasses. You are sickly. You are prone to randomly passing out. Without my divine blessings, you are nothing but a burden.

...yet you still choose to resist?

Even after ruining our body so much, it feels alien to me?

...so be it.

I am the final Byleth Eisner. You are nothing.

\---

Jeralt was of no help. All his words accomplished was to shatter the heroic façade the legendary Blade Breaker had built for himself. He was no more than a boorish, drunken brute. One that kept trying to abandon his emotionally fragile daughter. He may be a warrior close to Byleth’s equal, but his behaviour as a parent was nothing short of abusive. Even if his heart of hearts held nothing but regret and shame for his outrageous actions— that could never even hope to undo the damage he had dealt to Byleth’s psyche.

In the few months Edelgard had spent with Byleth, her countless vulnerabilities had washed ashore— and the conversation between Edelgard and Jeralt easily swept away the quizzical sands of their origins. That poor girl idolized her father— no, that poor girl had no one to idolize other than her father. Her lonely youth left her with no perspective on how a father should treat his daughter.

Given her situation, she’s… surprisingly well adjusted. It is nothing short of a miracle that her kind heart was left untarnished.

He couldn’t even let the sun set before once again abandoning his daughter. Mere hours had passed after that little discussion with Edelgard, and he again turned tail. Another ‘mission’, the faculty of Garreg Mach claimed. No, it was no more than an excuse to again avoid the obligations of his paternal contract. Edelgard was once again left at a complete loss, and as the remaining hours of the day passed, she struggled to find anything to further her goals. What was she to do? ‘Chum up’ with the nobility that may one day become of use to her? Refine her abilities as a warrior? Strengthen her ailing body?

No. It all felt pointless.

As the last bells of the day rang, Edelgard once again went to bed, and woke up feeling no less lethargic, with no motivation to start off her new day. Only by the sheer force of spite did hse manage to draw herself back to her feet, and only by the strength of her anger did she manage to get herself dressed and ready for the rest of the day. The daytime bells warned her of her tardiness— chiming for thrice more than when she was to normally wake up, but Edelgard felt no reason to hurry. So much for being ‘little miss honour student’! When Edelgard was dressed, she finally set foot into Garreg Mach. But not for the classes that were supposed to waste her time— no, once again, she took for the Archbishop’s chambers. “Excuse me.” Edelgard said with no more than tired reflex, as she opened the door.

Ah, yes. It was just the usual. Rhea and Byleth. Wait— no. Rhea’s fingers were stroking through Byleth’s hair, without the usual sizzle or the nauseating scent of burning flesh! The vile Archbishop had parted her lips in an attempt to spread her usual frustrating gaggle, but Edelgard paid her no heed; instead just dartingover to Byleth’s side. Her own hand quickly touched down upon her fallen lover’s cheek.

Cold, yet not distressingly so.

A quick leer across Byleth’s body confirmed her hopes. She was recovering. Those eerie ‘’wounds’ had faded, and no more of that luminous crystalline ‘blood’ spilled from her body. The only evidence of her earlier state were the many tears across the sleeping beauty’s nightgown. Otherwise, she just seemed at rest, and blissfully so. What a relief. What an incredibly huge relief. Finally, some progress after these last awful weeks. Finally, some… progress…

“My, my, three years, and this is the first time you’ve been willing to smile around me.”

“Quiet yourself, Archbishop.”

“Is this not the perfect time for us to bury our lede, my child? If you intend for your relationship with Byleth to bloom further, would it not be in your best interest to befriend your future mother-in-law?”

Urgh. Gross. Edelgard was willing to accept that her nemesis was the mother of beloved Byleth, but Edelgard wasn’t willing to fool herself into seeing Rhea as anything but an enemy. Edelgard spitefully shook her head, not even willing to give her the pleasure of believing that Edelgard had any feelings for her other than raw, unbridled enmity. Her plans had already been laid bare, and the Archbishop must be an incredible fool if she was willing to believe her convictions were so cheap as to be sacrificed for something as trite as personal feelings! I hate you, Archbishop, and I will never feel anything other than hate for you.

“That’s fine, I’m happy knowing you’re willing to smile around me.” Edelgard just shook her head and sighed in response. Her mood was far too joyous to be ruined by Rhea’s false pleasantries. “Ah, I must run to handle some officialities. I was hoping for you to appear at the usual hour so I could witness your reaction at Byleth’s recovery.”

“Excuse me?”

“I never believed your feelings for my daughter to be anything but true, but a mother can’t help but worry. But your smile told me everything.” Rhea rose for the bed and trailed towards the door. “Now, would you be a dear? Byleth has become quite unpresentable over her extended rest. I’ve drawn a bath. I intended to bathe her myself, but your tardiness has made my plans into a mess. You two are young adults, I’m sure her bare body is nothing new for you, so could you?” and with that… she just left, and closed the door behind her. Was. was she serious? What the hell sort of play is she going for? And yes, while Edelgard had been able to appreciate Byleth’s bare body when they bathed together that one time— argh, why are you giving her drivel any sort of logic? You’d be best to just leave now.

...though, Byleth did deserve this. She had been resting in a puddle of her own sweat, a washdown was the very least she deserved. Finally, a decent use of the Archbishop’s highly extravagant private washroom. Edelgard carefully put her arms underneath her girlfriend’s back, gently pulling her into her body and carefully walking her over to the sumptuous washroom. It was— quite surprisingly— not as ornate as Garreg Mach’s regular facilities, but more than ready to service a household. A preparatory shower to superficially clean oneself, and a wide bath more than fit for multiple people. Edelgard carefully set her her dearest down on the showerside seat., before starting the more awkward procedure of undoing Byleth’s nightgown and the panties she wore underneath. Edelgard carefully Byleth’s face and quickly primed the shower, giving her a careful rinse before pulling her up and setting her down within the warm water of the bathtub. After a few moments of adjustments, Byleth was seated comfortably and at no risk of falling over.

To be honest, Edelgard had no idea what she was doing. She hadn’t ever been in an even remotely similar situation before. Not even to aid her younger siblings, and even then this would be quite incomparable. Her uniform had already gotten quite damp from Byleth’s preliminary rinsing, so…

...would joining her be the easiest, or was that just the lascivious adolescent inside of her trying to get herself naked with the girl she loved? To be quite honest, sharing a bath with Byleth is one of the things she had fantasized about. The one time they did bathe together was made incredibly frustrating by certain biological reasons. While the cup she was wearing under her swimsuit was the only thing keeping the less pleasant parts of her body in check, it did so by restraining her in a way that kind of hurt. So! When she returned to her room, she had a problem to take care of. And the day after, too. Repeatedly. But now? She couldn’t feel anything pleasant when looking over Byleth’s admittedly amazing body. All she wanted was for Byleth to recover. When she does reawaken, THEN Edelgard would be able to enjoy the sight of Byleth’s voluptuous curves! Ergh, keep yourself in control, Edelgard. A quick shake of her head knocked those pleasant, yet currently unwelcome fantasies straight out of her head, as she started to undo her own clothes. She hesitated momentarily as her hands reached her shorts. What if Byleth came to in the midst of the situation? Well, that seemed both unlikely, and… whatever. Edelgard would have to tell her about the state of her body eventually, anyway. She stripped herself of the final parts of her attire, and sunk her feet right into the bath. Ah, how she had missed bathing. Garreg Mach’s lack of private facilities meant Edelgard hadn’t been able to take an extended bath for so long. Even with Byleth’s unfortunate state, this might end up being a pleasant experience.

Edelgard grabbed onto a nearby stick of soap and started carefully lathering down Byleth’s upper body, making sure that every part of her frame that was held above-water was covered in those cleansing bubbles. Once completely covered, Edelgard would carefully lower her further into the water while carefully ensuring her face never broke the surface. Once rinsed, Edelgard would carefully trail a sponge across her features, then soap again, then scrub, then rinse again. When Byleth’s upper body was sparkly clean, she repeated the same on her legs. It was a little more… difficult, to do so without being distracted. Not that she would ever force any inappropriate conduct onto an unconscious Byleth, but the soft feel of Byleth’s thighs would be enough to leave any lesser woman conquered by their needs.

Byleth’s body sure is something special, though. Given her extreme physical prowess, one would expect Byleth to be extremely well-toned and somewhat battle-worn. But not a single scar littered her body, and her frame felt surprisingly soft. No matter where Edelgard’s fingers ran, Byleth’s body felt like that of a child. Untoned. Unblemished. Perfect. Even the frailest students of Garreg Mach had a body built stronger than that of Byleth. Even the least athletic students among the group were still built for the rigorous physical activity a soldier would be exposed to. Well, she hadn’t been able to confirm it in person, but… biology dictates that athleticism builds muscle! Edelgard’s body worked to fight her at every turn. While the experimentation on her body had burnt the masculine hormones responsible for building muscles out of her body, Edelgard’s vigorous exercise had left her physique more defined than the majority of able-bodied working men.

And yet, Byleth felt and looked no different from a spoilt child. Were her Crests simply so aggressive at tearing away at her body, that a mere two weeks of inactivity was enough to break away at what should indubitably a well-built physique? To think, a pair of Crests could exist that run in conflict more than her two own… and this apparently occurred regularly? Did Byleth have to rebuild her strength from scratch every time her body decided to give into her Crests’ struggle? If that were the case, Byleth’s situation was even more impressive! While learnt usage of Crests could increase one’s strength far beyond what could be considered ‘normal’, it simply couldn’t make up for such nonexistent muscle mass. And this was without Byleth even being aware that she had a single Crest, let alone two.

...No matter. It would make more sense to confront Byleth about this when she reawakens. There’s no point in theorizing when her overly honest partner would no doubt answer when confronted. All Edelgard had to do was ensure the rehabilitating Byleth wasn’t pushing herself too much.

Edelgard returned to her cleaning routine, shampooing and conditioning out Byleth’s hair before brushing her digits through Byleth’s hair. It was… a mess. Edelgard wasn’t one to stress about her own appearance, but her hair was different. And feeling Byleth’s hair like this… urgh. Even her fingers couldn’t make it an inch through her hair without her fingers getting stuck on countless knots. Shouldn’t hair this unkempt get stuck on absolutely everything? Edelgard was going to have to take care of this, the moment Byleth’s hair dries. Not only that, but her hair had grown quite a bit, too! She had gained several inches. Leaving some of the knots stuck even deeper in her hair. Edelgard wanted to enjoy the cleansing warmth of the water just a few moments longer, but something about Byleth’s hair just bothered her so much she couldn’t stop herself from dragging the both of them out of the water. She quickly toweled herself dry, before aggressively ensuring not a single drop of water stayed in Byleth’s hair. Now, to hope that the Archbishop had anything even remotely in Edelgard’s size laying around somewhere, because she was NOT returning to her soaked schoolgarms. She carelessly opened a few drawers, quickly finding another gown that matched the one Byleth was wearing, among other clothes that definitely seemed to belong to Byleth. Including a quite-comfortable looking shirt that Edelgard couldn’t stop herself from slipping into.

The disgraced princess had always heard there was something wonderful about slipping into a larger partner’s attire, and this confirmed it. While normally a shirt that was a size too big would bother Edelgard, this felt wonderful. It reached down to the middle of her thighs! It was both a validating reminder that her natural-born girlfriend was a fair measure taller than her, combined with the excitement of realizing she could wear… nothing, under this, and it wouldn’t stand out. A fun thing to keep in mind, for the inevitable peaceful future Edelgard would create. After shaking those fun fantasies out of her head, Edelgard worked Byleth back into her own clothes. Lifted her. And dragged her straight back into bed, resting next to her for just long enough for her hair to completely recover from its dampness. Then, Edelgard would sit up and start aggressively brushing through her hair. Until every last knot was undone. It cost Byleth surprisingly little hair, for how tedious it ended up being. And when that was done…

Edelgard felt surprisingly comfortable. She nuzzled into Byleth’s back, and something about the scent of her now-washed hair just felt so bewitching and mesmerizing. She pulled her over and onto her side, wrapping her arms around her as she closed her eyes. Just a little. She just wanted to enjoy Byleth’s presence, just for a little…


	22. Chapter 22

Byleth’s tender frame was softer than any stuffed animal could ever even aspire to be. Once Edelgard had locked her arms around Byleth, it quickly became incredibly difficult to escape the allure of clinging to her. If her grip lightened even slightly, a quick strike of Edelgard’s insufferable lethargy was enough to leave her squeezing her love twice as hard. She just couldn’t quite help herself. How was she supposed to, when tempted by a person that felt like she was almost made to be cuddled? Still, Edelgard only intended to give herself no more than a simple, deserved moment of respite. But how was she supposed to break away? Not only did the physical contact feel absolutely exhilarating, Byleth’s natural scent was no different than that of a maddening flower. The light hint of her natural pheromones easily broke past the camouflage of her shampoo; yet they still remained strong enough to tantalize Edelgard and banish any thoughts of escape. She had no intent to sleep, but her mind was quickly starting to wander off. She was lucid enough to notice her consciousness drift away, but not awake enough to be anything but a comforting rest; and comforting it was.

Edelgard was constantly haunted by nightmares of the past, but now? She could feel herself ready to sleep peacefully. And she did so, undisturbed by her usual disturbances. While her rest wasn’t blessed by a journey to the land of her most pleasant dreams, it was… better, even, somehow.

Thus making it all the more exasperating when her sleep was cut short by a sudden bang. Edelgard launched herself upright as if she hadn’t been sleeping for an indeterminable amount of time, and quickly readjusted her clothes before even processing what had just happened. Byleth’s father had entered the room, and he held a familiar figure by the neck. As the delirium of rest left her eyes, Edelgard quickly realized it was the slithering assassin, Kronya. A single one of Jeralt’s massive hands was enough to easily keep her restrained. It took a few good seconds for Edelgard to realize the gravity of this situation, and she quickly started grabbing around herself for some sort of weapon to defend herself with.

“Relax, kid, she’s harmless. Rather, she ain’t stupid enough to let herself be anything but harmless.” What seemed like a gentle shove left Kronya tumbling. She only managed to make it a few steps closer to Edelgard before she fell flat onto her face. She pitifully gasped for air, one of her hands even rubbing at her throat in a rather pathetic attempt to recover from the temporary crushing of her windpipe. She just sat there. On her knees. Coughing and heaving for what felt like an awkward few minutes. Edelgard would’ve probably had some sort of pity for her, were she not one of ‘them’. While she didn’t derive any sort of enjoyment from the suffering of others, Edelgard definitely couldn’t feel bad at one of the Agarthans receiving some come-uppance.

But still. Even if she had been tamed, she is still one of those who slither in the dark. Bringing her here puts all of Garreg Mach at an incredible risk. Edelgard had seen just how frightening they could be. Some of their operatives were even known to embed Crest Stones into their teeth, to ruthlessly slaughter those daft enough to attempt capture. Her sheer existence here was a threat “Why—”

“Don’t ask stupid questions, kid. She’s helpin’ us fix up our daughter. Why else?” Before Edelgard could even utter a second word, Jeralt had already scoffed her back into silence. “Now, little miss, why don’t you tell us exactly how to stop this from happening?”

“How should I know!?” Kronya’s sharp response was surrounded with coughs. Her tone was far more shrill than usual. It almost sounded like she had been screaming until her voice broke. “Do I LOOK like a scientist to you?” she said with all the strength she could mutter. Which wasn’t a lot, mind. “Why don’t you ask your old pal Solon, pops? He’d be a lot more useful to you.”

Jeralt sighed and stepped forward, before lowering himself to one knee. To be as close to eye level with the kneeling Kronya as he could be. The redhead responded by pathetically dragging her body back, until she had her head against the very bed Edelgard and Byleth were still resting on. “Nah. Why don’t you just play ball? You know better than this. Don’t be stupid, Kronya. Answer me.”

“I TOLD you! I don’t know! I—” Kronya instantly fell silent. Jeralt’s sword was less than an inch away from her throat. Were it not for the few locks of red hair that were suddenly left scattered through the air, Edelgard would’ve sworn Jeralt hadn’t moved. Did she blink? Because it definitely seemed like his sword went from his side to against her throat without any sort of motion.

“Cut the crap. Solon is even more of a coward than you are. Lil’ chicken shit definitely did whatever he could to avoid giving me another reason to chase his ass. So talk, unless you want to end up with those being your final words.”

“I— urgh! Fine! I don’t know a lot, but I’ll spit out whatever I know. But in return, you better get me a comfortable cell! I am NOT going back to them. You KNOW Solon will kill me if he realizes he has one less excuse to live...”

Jeralt responded with a short laugh. “See that, brat? That’s how you interrogate this kind of coward. Just pretend you know they know shit. They crack in seconds.” Jeralt completely broke the threatening mood that had set into these chambers, but the new sensation was far more eerie. They spoke with a sort of familiarity that left Edelgard gagging. The legendary hero Jeralt, the peerless Blade Breaker, having such a casual exchange with one of these fiends. Edelgard wished she could simply choose to believe this was simply how he treated his enemies, because the alternative was far more damning. To think she held any sort of reverence for this brute.

Their exchange was filled with nothing but glaring falsehoods. Was Jeralt so much of a fool he would debase himself to obvious theater to keep Edelgard in the dark? This must be why Rhea and Jeralt got together. They’re both liars that seem to assume everyone else is unobservant at best. Edelgard wanted to escape, but she didn’t quite have a choice. If these two had any evil intentions, they’d easily be able to stop her before she could get out of the room, especially while carrying the extra Byleth-shaped load that was resting right besides her! Even if she could escape with just her lone self, leaving Byleth with one of those who slither in the dark was not an option.

“Why don’t you just skin her weirdo brother?” Uh, Excuse me? Was this Kronya’s attempt at humour? It was as bad as her acting. “Get some of his blood, most of his flesh, and just make a huge delicious slushie for Byleth! I know flaying is the most trendy sort of torture nowadays! I’m sure he could live a long and fulfilling life with the skin ripped off his bones!”

“I told you to cut the crap, Kronya.” Jeralt quickly interjected.

“Not an option? Well, how about fixing up her Crest Stone? Just rip the other half out of his heart and shove it right into her! I’m fairly certain Byrett’s more likely to survive without skin than without a heart, though. But it’s your call!”

“Next.”

“D-Don’t look at me like that! Solon is the one that did the damn procedure! You’re the one that asked him for help! I actually don’t know anything more, idiot! You should grab the crazy, ugly old scientist man next time! Not this beautiful, young assassin!” This wasn’t going anywhere. Kronya and Jeralt were just having an annoying little back-and-forth. Must they do this here?

“I recommend you dig deeper into that head of yours. Aren’t you an assassin? I assumed you’d be a little more informed about the weaknesses of your potential marks. You sure know how to set Byleth off, and I’m sure you know how to wake her up so you can set her off again. Baby steps, little miss.”

“Ehehehe~” the redhead went quiet after a short giggle, scratching the back of her head like a doofus as if she were playing off an ordinary fit of ignorance. After she seemed to realize her little act wasn’t working, she started talking again. “Look, I can wake her up, but I don’t think anyone can fix her body! You and mommy made sure her first Crest is engrained real deep into her blood! And you bet the Goddess’ isn’t much different! Give a girl two Crests she’s so naturally attuned to, and things are going to go wrong!” Urgh, hearing Rhea be referred to as ‘mommy’ was incredibly creepy and discomforting. You could’ve picked a better way to phrase that. Not to distract from the seriousness of the situation, but GOD that was creepy. Could you at least not make any reference to Rhea sound sexual, you wench!?

“Then get to it.”

“Uuuh, yeah, about that.” Kronya tried to rise to her feet, but a mere twist of Jeralt’s blade in front of her eyes was enough to knock that out of her. “It’s gonna be a little tricky, and you’re gonna have to trust me! I don’t want to end up splattered on little Edel here. I want to get all over her as much as anyone else— I’m just really not interested in the ‘dying’ part.” Kronya again tried to rise to her feet, and this time, the Blade Breaker foolishly let her, sheathing his blade back on his side. His eyes stayed fiercely locked onto the young redhead, yet he seemed to have actually lowered his guard. He even nodded— giving her approval for what no doubt would be an utterly idiotic attempt at escape. Agarthans are extremely predictable in their desire to create chaos.

And it took less than a second for said tomfoolery to start. The very moment approval was given, she just threw herself backwards and let herself bounce on the bed. The springs couldn’t even finish squeaking before the student had already yanked her teacher away and to safety. Edelgard didn’t trust her would-be assassin enough to let her that close to Byleth. “I’m not an idiot, Kronya. If you have any intention of helping, you can do it from there, and just tell me what to do.”

“Well, y’see, that makes this a lot more difficult…”

“Is this sob story going to help my teacher, or are you just shedding false tears for sympathy again?”

“Look, it really is something only I can do!” Edelgard locked her eyes in a fierce glare. Kronya has always been a fan of spewing buillshit, but this is a new level, even for her. An eagle won’t soar for poisoned bait just because they’re a little hungry— and Kronya’s excuse stank of cyanide. “I’m— well, I’m pretty much fucked either way, now. I’d rather kiss up to the cute ass that won’t torture AND kill me. I have every reason to help and not a single one to lie!” That was undeniably true, she— Hey! PLEASE don’t talk about my ass being cute in front of my girlfriend’s father! Edelgard’s thoughts were so obvious that Kronya instantly responded “Ahaha! Edel Edel Edel! I wish you could see your own face! That’s that pure-hearted expression that I’ve missed sooo much. Really do hope I’ll get to see that lots and lots more in the future!”

Oh, you malignant little bitch! You little— no. Calm down, Edelgard. Do not let her have this. Kronya essentially gets off on this, don’t let her have the pleasure. Edelgard quickly shook her head in an attempt to hopefully-not-too-obviously shake the annoyance off her face, and quickly changed her attention to the other waking occupant of the room.

“Jeralt. I assume you’ve disarmed her?”

“What, do I look that stupid? ‘Course I did, kid. Not gonna let a professional killer walk around with her weapons at the ready.”

“Did you rid her of her Crest Stone?”

“I’ve dealt with these assholes for longer than you’ve been alive, kid. ‘Course I did. I was just gonna commit some impromptu dentistry, but Kronya so kindly offered to scrape it clean. Made her chomp down on where it was, for good measure.”

“How about the daggers in her heels?”

“Check.”

“Under her wrist guards?”

“Check.”

“What about her nails?”

“You’re being one helluva wise-ass brat, Edelgard. ‘Course I did!”

Kronya suddenly cut into their exchange. “He made me bite my precious nails short! If I had anything left on there, I would be pretty dead. Want me to demonstrate?”

“I’d really rather you don’t. What about the needle in her top?”

“Yeah, yeah— wait, where’d ya just say?”

“Her top.”

“How the hell would she even fit somethin’ in there?”

Edelgard fell silent, and Kronya started laughing, and laughing, and laughing, all while driving her hand to said top. In one unthreatening motion she moved one hand to lift the top of her ‘brassiere’, as her other grabbed around at the very little skin that her top actually used to cover— and pulled a thin, metal rod out of a flesh-coloured sheath. A needle, one for delivering toxins straight into someone’s bloodstream. This particular specimen seemed to have already been emptied of its contents, but it still made for a dangerous weapon. “Is your naivete hereditary, or did you just callously infect both of your children?” Edelgard almost growled as she spoke.

“Aww, are wittle Byleth and Byrett both like this? Gosh, I wonder if you know what ELSE I can fit in between my girls here~”

“I don’t care what you do in your own time, kid, if it ain’t the way to wake up my daughter you can shut right up and skip to it.”

“Look, I’m just saying! If Edelgard put that little something-something of hers between Byleth’s breasts, I’m sure she’d wake up!”

“NOW, Kronya. And you— brat. Keep quiet and do as she says, and stop encouraging her!” After a pathetic attempt to shift the blame, Kronya finally turned back around to face Edelgard, but she could only keep her composure for a few seconds before starting to giggle. 

“Look, I can’t do this if you don’t stop blushing! It’s so adorable.” Wait, she was— ah. Yup. Her cheeks definitely felt like they were burning up. She could feel that oddly warm sensation from ear to ear! Even her ears were tingling a little. Sure, she was a little embarrassed! But, um, most of it was a certain other emotion that Kronya’s teasing had reawakened. Look, Edelgard couldn’t help it! Even in this sort of situation, they were still talking about this sort of thing about the very woman of Edelgard’s dreams! “Don’t you worry, Edel dearest.” Kronya leaned herself in a little closer. Far enough to avoid triggering any worries about danger, but definitely close enough to leave Edelgard uncomfortable. Kronya’s voice dropped to a thin whisper. Words Jeralt definitely wouldn’t be able to hear. “If she can’t figure it out, I don’t mind teaching Byleth how to work you, just like that!.”

Was Kronya just trying to get Edelgard to feel as awkwardly embarrassed as possible? It was aggravatingly difficult to fire back with Jeralt just standing there and watching, and especially-especially with Byleth still on her lap! Just having to sit there and not retaliate made the teasing so much harder. God, Byleth better not be hearing any of this… after a few more moments of awkwardly struggling about, Edelgard moved as Kronya suggested, one hand hovered above the bottom of her beloved’s belly. Kronya moved her hand to meet Edelgard’s, locking their grips firmly together. Kronya carefully turned her palm to face upwards.

“And now, let your heart out. Scream as hard as you can! As loud as you must!”

Huh? What do you— before Edelgard could even process what Kronya had said, and think to question what she meant… a sharp pain shot through her wrist. No. Not just pain. The needle that Kronya had tossed to the side.

Was now in her wrist. Pierced, top to bottom. Blood slowly— very slowly— dripped from the very tip. The only thing stopping the flow of her blood was the needle itself. Edelgard yanked her arm back— at least, she tried to. But she couldn’t. Why? Kronya wasn’t stronger than her! Kronya was never stronger than her! Why couldn’t she just— pull her arm free!? All she needed was one quick motion. And now— her wrist— she couldn’t feel it anymore. Just pain. Edelgard flinched in silence. Her entire body tensing up from the pain. Edelgard did her best to pull— her arm— away. But she couldn’t put in anything but meager force. Not enough to make even Kronya budge. Kronya pushed Byleth to the side and yanked Edelgard closer and turned about, humming as she gleefully held the princess as a shield before the knight that was to ensure her safety.

“You, stay away. You don’t wanna lose whatever means of saving Byleth you have, do you? That’s it. Good boy. Just let me have some fun with my Edel. Just stay put. I just wanna take her on a trip down memory lane!” The delirium of pain just left Edelgard completely frozen. And Kronya was just— giggling and laughing. As she moved the tip of that needle— to her neck. Only when she could feel the sharpened tip rest against her neck— did Kronya— stop moving— “Do you remember, Edelgard? How much of a pain in the ass you were? You talk big and pretend to have ‘resolve’ or some shit, but all I see is the annoying girl that spent. Every. Single. Day. trying to escape! Why couldn’t you just be normal, Edel? We spent MORE time patching you up from those REPEATED pathetic attempts to take your own life, than we did actually getting that Crest onto you! Maybe, if you weren’t such a pathetic little bitch, you wouldn’t have gotten ALL of your beloved siblings killed! If you were a good girl, SOME of them would’ve survived! Fucking idiot.”

Why couldn’t— she move— why wasn’t— Jeralt— helping!? He was— supposed— supposed to be— so powerful. So fast. And he— was just— watching. All he— needed to do— was rush— forward— and pull away Kronya. He need— not even use— use— his blade. Edelgard wanted to— scream. Scream. Not— out of fear. Nor— pain. Simply in— attempts— to make her body obey— obey— obey her again! Why— couldn’t she— just— move!?

“Hehehe! Looks like your body deeefinitely remembers, girl. We don’t NEED something as stupid as poison to shut you down! Because you’re scared! Scared stupid! Scared for your life! You useless little bitch! Ahahaha. Look. You look like you want to whimper and cry! It’s so sad. Ahahaha! Doesn’t it still freak you out? Not being able to move? Having control of your body taken away? Good, good, good! Maybe it’ll help you realize! You’re still our tool! Our property! To use, discard, and break as we please!”

Scared!? No— no. Edelgard von Hresvelg— is incapable of being hampered by— pathetic— deliberating— emotions like that! This was— something else. Something—that—bound her body. Those— Agarthans, they surely— had techniques— to ensure their prey— would never escape…

“Are you still scared of drowning? Good. I’m going to drive this needle here, right down this artery— right here, in your neck! I’ll just need to wiggle it around a little— and you’ll choke to death on your own blood. I’m sure that’s poetic, somehow! So you should be happy— that someone put THAT much thought into something for you! Aren’t you happy, Edel? C’mon, smile! Smile, smile! Show a bright little smile, you treacherous little shit!”

No. No! I refuse to die— I’m not going to die— I won’t die! I’m— not— dying. I’ll never— ever— ever— ever…

I don’t want to die.

I’m going… to…

A deafening roar blew Kronya away. No— it wasn’t the lion’s screech that drove her off. Someone had grabbed noto Kronya. One hand on her neck, the other firmly on her left wrist. The limb that had been driving that weapon against her, was now pinned tightly against the wall, by a hand that only barely resembled that of a human. Ashen grey scales firmly wrapped were firmly forming around their fingers, creeping past their wrist, and slowly corrupting up her arm. Only when she saw that scattered green-and-blue hair did she realize who had saved her.

Byleth. Again. How pathetic. Saved by a woman that had been comatose, only a few seconds ago.

“Ahahaha! Ahaha! L-Look! She’s awake! Iwasjustacting! I did my job! Jeralt, please get your pet off me! I don’t wanna be dragon chow!” another roar. The aberrant Byleth seemed to be tearing at Kronya’s arm with all the strength she could. Edelgard could vividly hear something crack. And then- only then, did Jeralt finally yell her down.

“That’s enough, kid!”

“...enough?”

Byleth’s ashen grip adjusted itself. One hand now firmly wrapping around Kronya’s throat, slowly turning towards Jeralt. Dragging Kronya along as if she was nothing but a toy. “She hurt El. It’s all because of her. It’s all because of THEM. I won’t let any of these insects live. I’ll crush her. I’ll crush them. One by one. Do you want to stop me!? Then I’ll crush you, too! I won’t let anyone that hurts El go!” Another roar. Byleth shifted her sights towards her father, and swung Kronya’s entire body as if she were no different than a whip. Were she not one of them, the loud cracks of Kronya’s body would’ve surely disturbed the former princess. But this was no less than what they deserved.. Only when she finally let go of her target, and effortlessly tossed her unmoving frame at Jeralt did Edelgard interfere.

“...Byleth?”

Ah. Her body. It was listening again. She could move again! She reached her uninjured hand forwards— and all the rage dissipated. As did those ashen scales. they shattered into green dust, and slowly floated away. Byleth simply sat there. Silent. Facing away from Edelgard, still.

“Byleth?”

The warrior responded with a twitch. Slowly turning her entire body, and leaving Edelgard nothing but a timid gaze. As their eyes met, she quickly lowered her face. Hiding herself in shame like a beaten puppy would. Edelgard moved her free hand towards the needle that had embedded into her wrist— and quickly yanked it out. In one fluid motion. Without as much as a wince.

“I could use… some of your healing…”

“Ah!”

Whatever shame had stricken Byleth was just as quickly driven away. She lunged forward and tenderly sank her digits around Edelgard’s wrist. A helping of green magical energy pulsed into her skin, ridding her skin from even as much as a scar. Even still, Byleth would not speak. In silence she would drag her hands over her partner’s arm. The changes in her expression were very slight, but it no longer held the obvious shame Byleth failed to hide earlier. One might even mistake her expression for one of happiness, due to the slight upwards curvature of her lips. But no, the faint quivers of her grip left it unmistakable. Byleth seemed… scared.

...was it the scars on her arms? Had Byleth not seen them before? No, that’s right. This shirt was doubtlessly the least concealed her body had ever been around Byleth. Edelgard had no shame about her appearance, she simply wanted to… avoid, this exact situation. The many marks of her torture were unambigiously distinct of those earned in battle. Even worse was the fact that she seemed to know those of the dark had something to do with Edelgard’s past. Had she perhaps finally recalled their initial, fated meeting?.She seemed to understand that those of the dark had put her through terrible treatment many years ago. Her timid teacher maintained her silence. 

“Yeah, I’ll leave you kids be. Gonna get this one checked out. She’s still breathin’. Not doin’ any talkin’, though. But I’d call that a definite improvement…”

Neither of the two cared to respond to Jeralt, and he soon caught the hint. And left. Their silence endured and both stood still in silence. That is— until Edelgard withdrew from Byleth’s grip and spread her both arms in welcoming of an embrace. Byleth hesitated, but for no longer than a second. She shuffled closer and closer, until finally just dropping her face in Edelgard’s bosom.

“That, that wasn’t me… I’m not a monster...”.


	23. Chapter 23

I’m so tired, I can barely hear what she’s saying. Why is she still talking to me? I’m trying to sleep. Isn’t that what you want? For me to sleep, so you can take over my body or something? I’m doing my best! But I can’t sleep if you keep yelling at me like this! I’m trying to let go, because that’s what Edelgard wants, right? For me to let go, so you can protect her properly? That’s fine. I don’t mind. No, don’t be stupid! I’m not trying to fight. I really wanna just… let you do what keeps Edelgard safe and happy! But you have to keep… going and going… and waking me up...

...I do really love Edelgard… and that’s why I’m trying to let go. I’ll do anything to make her happy. I don’t understand emotions super well, but I really do know that I like her! And not just… because you do. These feelings are mine! My own. I met her, she supported me, and we fell in love. I’ve never really had a person… treat me like that, before…! She kept doing all those things for me. A girl I hadn’t met helped me understand and love a job I didn’t want. I finally found friends, all because of her. Because she helped me figure out what I had to do as a teacher. That’s why I like her, I think! I feel… so much warmer when I look or even just think about her! It makes me want to see her, hear her, think about her more! And that's what love is, right? Wanting to be with someone so bad it makes your body feel all weird?

...geez, I’ve seen so many books describe ‘love’ as a ‘warmth in your body’, and I didn’t realize I really liked Edelgard until someone pointed it out to me… and if someone like Dorothea could just completely see I’m in love with Edelgard, that means it must be obvious, right? And if even someone else could see that I’m in love with Edelgard, that means I really am! They are my feelings, and mine alone. You don’t get to tell me they aren’t real! That’s awful! I wanna be with Edelgard, I really do. But I want her to be happy and safe and you keep telling me she’ll be happier with you, but you’re just…

I’m not nothing. I’m not nothing! My name is ██████ Eisner! I love her… and… that’s why I’m trying to let you protect her.

...Ah.

What’s this… wet feeling…? It’s like. Something’s dripping onto my belly. It’s the first thing I’ve felt in however long, now, and it feels so wrong. It’s so uncomfortably warm, it’s making me want to scream. I can’t see anything, but I just know something is wrong! Ah. I’m feeling this overwhelming urge to open my eyes… but I can’t. My body’s just not listening! Wake up already, you idiot. Wake up. Something’s wrong! Something’s so very wrong! I can faintly hear someone say something about ‘drowning’, but one thing rang so much louder than anything else. It was like I could… hear a feeling. Some sort of… sickening feeling.

Finally, light reaches my eyes.

But I can’t move. All I can do is watch. Watch as some sort of overpowering roar pierces the air. And watch, as my body moved on it’s own.

...what’s… happening?

No, why are you focusing on her, you idiot!? Edelgard’s in pain. Edelgard’s in a lot of pain! I can hear it. I can just… hear it. Stop… stop. We have to focus on Edelgard. We have to focus on Edelgard… what are you doing… why are you…

...my body…? What’s with those… white things around my arms? They’re growing. And growing. And growing. What’s happening to my body. What is she... 

I couldn’t hear anything. At all. I could feel that I had started talking, but I couldn’t hear a thing. This disgusting… whatever it is, is too loud to hear over! It’s… it’s not important. Edelgard is… a-and why am I…

“...Byleth?”

\---

A feeling like shattering glass coursed through all of Byleth’s body, as if all the crushing weight that kept her from moving her own body had just completely broken. Whatever motions her body had begun to unwillingly do just stopped. As all she could do was look down. At her arms. As those scales spread further across her body.

They were a pale gray, no different from ash. This was her body. And this. This definitely wasn’t human. Humans don’t suddenly grow… armor like this. That’s not what humans do. It wasn’t magic. It wasn’t anything, bar Byleth’s own body. She could even feel them grow.

Why?

...why?

I’m not… like that. I’m not a monster. Everyone has always been wrong. This is just. This is just. This is just just just just just… I’m a person. Like everyone else here. That wasn’t me. That wasn’t me.

“Byleth?”

Ah. Edelgard… saw this. Edelgard saw all of this. She might just misunderstand. Byleth did her best to turn about and quickly stutter out some sort of objection to what had just happened, but she couldn’t get herself to say a thing. Her lips just wouldn’t move. It wasn’t because someone else was stopping her from moving them. She just couldn’t move them. Because it felt like, no matter what she did, this would only get worse. Byleth hung her head in shame, whimpering. I’m so sorry, Edelgard…

“I could use… some of your healing!”

“Ah!”

No! Pull yourself together! You don’t… get to be sad about this. You don’t get to feel anything. Until you take care of Edelgard. You can’t be as stupid as that inner ‘you’.of yours! Edelgard is… bleeding. She’s hurt. Byleth dragged herself forward as quickly as she could, wrapping her fingers around El’s petite hand, before forcing her usual magic into Edelgard’s harm to quickly leave the wound as naught. But. But.

That wasn’t Edelgard’s only wound.

...when did she get all of these… scars…?

They’re. They’re not recent. They’re clearly at least several years old. And they’re everywhere. All over her arms. No. No. She had to be imagining something. Byleth gently started trailing her digits across Edelgard’s arm. Feeling the unmistakable roughness of her many past injuries. These weren’t made by a sword, or axe. They were done… more deliberately. Even if Byleth was void of scars, enough of the mercenaries around her had told her the stories behind their old wounds. Each and every scar came with a story. Even if every cut and gash was unique, they were all… consistent. Consistent enough that a trained warrior like Byleth could easily gleam how they had been obtained.

And these?

This one, here on her arm. It went all the way from top to bottom. Just one cut. There was no way it could’ve been done in battle. It seemed more like someone had roughly dragged a sharp blade all across Edelgard’s arm. While she was… struggling. Sometimes it just waved back and forth. Like she tried to yank her arm back with the dagger’s tip still underneath her skin, only to have it be drawn further across her body. And that was just one of so, so many.

Her shoulders down to her wrist. Not a single part of her body had remained unblemished. Every small strip of fair skin was quickly interrupted by a myriad of cuts or pricks.

...and her wrists, were…

...she had met more than a few soldiers with similar marks on their lower arms. They had… given up… and…

...Edelgard had… tried something like that? This pretty princess with an unbelievably gracious smile, had attempted…

Edelgard pulled her arm away, and Byleth immediately winced. She must’ve done something bad. She was probably leering too much or something. Ah, after all of this, she didn’t want her first interaction with Edelgard to be making her mad. She didn’t want to…

Oh.

Edelgard had spread her arms. That meant, she…

All strength had left Byleth’s body, and she collapsed straight into El’s soft grip. There were so many things she wanted to say. But all she could get past her lips was; “That, that wasn’t me… I’m not a monster...” She wasn’t a monster! She… wasn’t a monster… right? No. She couldn’t be. After all these years of being called a demon by her fellow mercenaries, she finally found peaceful respite in the company of her students. They… didn’t hate her. They didn’t hate her! Out of their own volition, they often spent their time with Byleth! Would that stop, if they… knew? She was the Ashen Demon. Hanneman’s research even said she was… like a living Crest. And, everything Sothis— no. Everything her inner self had said… she was a creation. A failed creation.

_ “You dare hold MY beloved Edelgard? With your stolen body?” _

And that person. The fake ‘Sothis’. Was sitting right there. Behind Edelgard. Her phantasmic mirror image. Her transparent hands leaning on Edelgard’s shoulder. Her false frame pressing against Edelgard’s back.

“Go away.” Byleth spat out.

“...Byleth?” Edelgard tried to shift backwards. But Byleth wouldn’t let her. Grabbing onto her. And pulling her backwards. Away from the apparition. To the very edge of the bed they shared.

_ “Let go.” _

Lalala. I can’t hear you! Stop talking! Stop talking! Byleth buried her face into Edelgard’s shoulder, constantly whispering out. At the bottom of her voice. As quietly as she possibly could. “Stop, stop, stop…” Even if she muffled herself with Edelgard’s body, surely this ‘Sothis’ in her head would be able to hear. In truth, Byleth wanted to scream, at the top of her voice. But. She couldn’t. Not in front of Edelgard. She didn’t want to scare Edelgard. Because if she did, Edelgard might pull away, and then…

Could she… handle this, without the firm embrace of her beloved partner?

...I have to handle this. I can’t just… let go! Let go of the woman I love! I thought it was okay. Because you’d protect her and make her happy! But you’re… you’re awful! You’re just a bully. I won’t ever let go! I won’t ever let someone like you be with Edelgard! Go away! Go away, go away, go away! Leave me alone! Just leave me alone.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Even though Byleth was internally screaming at herself as hard as she possibly could, Edelgard’s serene voice effortlessly cut through the silence and straight into the chaotic mess of Byleth’s mind. Chaos faded into a mere panic, before Byleth’s mind would return to calmth as Edelgard let her hand rest on Byleth’s head. Stroking fingers through her hair. Petting her. Cradling her. Giving her… genuine affection. This was… it was nothing like the pleasantries they shared in the bath. Edelgard was holding her so firmly. Just stroking her fingers through Byleth’s hair. “I won’t leave you, my beloved Byleth.”

“I… I’m… so sorry…” That wasn’t what she meant to say. That wasn’t what she wanted to say. But after being brought to this mountain of pleasantries, after being pulled so deep into the valley of depression… it… she had done something wrong, hadn’t she? Because her mind just couldn’t understand. Her mind just couldn’t process. This overwhelming feeling. She had to have done something wrong. This is… not right… this can’t be real. She couldn’t protect Edelgard. So why. So why…?

“Don’t apologize. I refuse to let you go. And I understand, Byleth. It’s all okay.”

It was okay… because she understood. The person Byleth loved the most. With all of her heart. With all of her feelings. Understood. And said it was okay. What… was it that she understood? Why did she understand? It. It doesn’t matter.

Even if it was just a little. Even if it was just the smallest fragment of the feelings that coursed through Byleth’s mind. Edelgard understood her.

...and Edelgard… said she wouldn’t let her go. Even if Byleth had desperately been trying to let go of whatever life she had left… Edelgard still wouldn’t let her go. Even though Edelgard could see that Byleth wasn’t human. She still… refused to let her go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter for today! I'm working for a much longer one next up. I've had a lot of real life stuff going on in the past few months, but now that I've been feeling a lot better I should be able to get a lot more writing done! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I really hope you can continue to do so! Thank you all for reading.


	24. Chapter 24

Being entwined with the one you love really is something special. How many ‘partners’ had Byleth had so far? Honestly, she’d lost count. Aside from many of the mercenaries that worked in and with her company, some of the jobs she received when left on her own involved such intimacy. Some simply wanted to be accompanied, some wanted to be embraced, while others wanted to go far further. Assassination assignments also often involved that sort of act. Even if her targets were so frail that a mere shift of her hands would be able to end their lives, that often came with other complications. More wealthy noblemen were always accompanied by countless bodyguards— and they really only let their wits slip when accompanied in the bedroom. Whenever she was tasked to take as few lives as possible, that always tended to be the most viable recourse.

...sometimes, Byleth even let it go a little further than it really had to. Her own urges could get in the way of her better judgement, and sometimes having a stranger help work them off just felt better.

But this still felt so somehow very different. The warmth of a wholly different pleasure quivered through her body now that she laid within Edelgard’s arms, and honestly, it was a heck of a lot better than sex. It gave a different kind of stimulus, but it made her feel better in much the same way. It gave her the wobbly warm feeling in her legs and brain that made her just want to doze off and relax. As the awful mood faded into bliss, Byleth couldn’t help but yawn. Which left Edelgard yawning, too.

...sleepy. She had just taken a long, long nap, and she felt like passing right back out. Why does Edelgard’s chest have to be so soft? Why do her arms have to be so comfortable? Why do her breaths have to be so hypnotic? And her heart was beating such a lovely, comfortable rhythm. It was like Edelgard was playing a lullaby to ease Byleth back to sleep.

And it would’ve worked, too, was their peace not interrupted by some loud knocking. It alone wasn’t enough to knock Byleth out of her trance, but the sudden rush in Edelgard’s heartbeat sure was! It naturally made her sit straight up and adjust her nightgown. W-wait, why? Why was she wearing… and Edelgard was wearing her, and… nevermind that part, really. Her own attire… A-Ah. It was… a-a little transparent. She wasn’t wearing a bra underneath. E-Edelgard could see, . her… her…

...w-why was this so embarrassing? Sure, it could feel a little awkward to have someone else see her naked, but… E-Edelgard could see her… it… um… 

“Come in.” Edelgard called out towards the door. W-Wait, Edelgard wasn’t even looking at her! No, wait, why wasn’t Edelgard looking at her? The door soon slowly opened, and only after a few seconds of nothing did Rhea step in. Edelgard instantly just sighed as soon as she saw Rhea’s green hair poke in. W-Well, Edelgard had made it clear that she didn’t trust Rhea for whatever reason, and that’s okay, r-right? But a bright smile did form on the Archbishop’s face, and just as quickly faded away as she raised one hand up to her lips and scraped her throat.

“A-hem. Your father told me that you had finally woken up, Byleth. Are you feeling well? We’ve all been very worried for you!” After a second of hesitation, Byleth nodded. Yeah, she didn’t feel bad at all! Well, not anymore. Now that she was cuddling into Edelgard, everything felt so happy. So wonderfully happy. “I’m very sorry to interrupt your fun—”

Edelgard cut her off extremely quickly with a “Quiet, you.”, which caused Rhea pause but she continued again soon after.

“—but it seems like your classmates have gotten wind of your recovery. I wanted to make sure you’re feeling well enough to see them.” Byleth quickly nodded in response, and Edelgard let out a groan or grunt of sorts. W-Was Rhea really being all that bad? Was Byleth just a little too sleepy to notice what Rhea was doing wrong? Rhea gave the pair a smile and left as quickly as she had appeared, leaving them alone again. Well, alone until her students show up, that is! Byleth felt pretty excited, honestly. Knowing that her students were actually asking to see her… it made her feel all bubbly, inside. They were her wonderful friends, too, after all!

“Professor.” A-Ah, why was she being so impersonal again? A-After being called by her first name and just being called ‘my teacher’ for so long, hearing Edelgard refer to her like this made her feel so distant. Byleth flinched and sat herself up. What did she do wrong, this time…? “Would you mind wiping that grin off your face? And that blush, too? I’m not quite in the mood to deal with Dorothea’s teasing today.” Ah, wait, she was… a-ah! Byleth whimpered and quickly dove her hands up to her face, fighting as best as she could to keep her face under control. Ahh, she was burning up. How hadn’t she noticed? H-How had she not noticed how much she had been smiling? Ah, please. S-Stop. Get under control, please…

“I-I’m sorry…”

“No, it’s— No, nevermind. I’d rather you not worry. I’m just in a foul mood.”

“...I-I’m sorry.” Byleth lowered her hands and pushed them back into her lap. While the blush had definitely disappeared, her grin hadn’t. Her lips were just curving up more, no matter how she fought that reflex. Stupid face, I’m feeling bad, I don’t want to smile… Edelgard’s gaze moved to Byleth, and the teacher quickly lowered her head.

“I’ve just…” Edelgard’s voice had fallen into a whisper. “I’d rather avoid any distractions, while… no. Forget it..”

...eh? What did that mean? And to forget it? How could she!? She had upset her beloved Edelgard! W-What did she do? She really seemed so upset? Byleth was about to spiral down another wave of worries, but the thundering noise of approaching footsteps quickly stole Byleth’s attention.

“PROFESSOR!" The door roughly flew open as an emotional Bernadetta charged at the pair as quickly as her little feet could bring her. She stumbled right in front of the bed, and stared up at the couple with damp eyes. She was trying to stammer something out among the lines of ‘I was worried’, or something like that, but it sounded like wordless blabbering with the occasional ‘worried’ mixed in.

...um, what was she supposed to say here? This is kind of awkward…

“What our little Bernie-bear here means—” Dorothea’s voice peered in next. She grabbed Bernadetta by her armpits and pulled her just a little bit back. For a few moments, she whimpered and flailed in their direction, before collecting herself, and just pulling back onto her feet. Bernie was still sobbing a little, just not… over the bed. “—is that we were all worried for you, Professor.” unlike Bernadetta, Dorothea seemed calm. She was smiling, as usual, and casually kept Bernadetta under control. “How are you feeling, Professor?”

“I-I’m fine, I think…”

“Do you think you’d be up for a little reunion? If you still need some time, that’s just fine~.” Dorothea looked back and forth between Edelgard and Byleth, before letting her gaze linger on Edelgard. Edelgard shook her head. Byleth stared at her for a moment, puzzled, before objecting.

“I-I’m fine, really!” She didn’t exactly know how to phrase it, but she missed her dear friends. It felt like she hadn’t seen them in forever. Even though all that happened felt as if it were just yesterday, it still somehow felt so far. P-Plus, if they were really… excited to see her? How could she say no? That… that… s-she had people that were genuinely excited to see her! That’s so unbelievably wonderful.

“Are you really sure?”

“Yeah!” After Byleth responded, Edelgard groaned again. W-What? Did she have a problem with anything? Did she have a fight with the other students? Did… did something happen between them? Byleth meekly looked at Edelgard and whimpered out a little “I-I’m sorry…” which Edelgard just dismissed by shaking her head. Byleth quickly leaned into Edelgard, but her little princess still had no response. Byleth was about to mutter out another apology, but Dorothea quickly cut them off.

“Put this on, first.” Dorothea undid the jacket of her uniform and dropped it on Byleth’s head, and Byleth immediately realized that her nightgown was still, um, showing. With a weep and a whimper, Byleth quickly accepted it and struggled it on as best she could. W-Why does the chest area have to be so tight?.C’mon, close… close already… w-wait? Isn’t this how Dorothea always wears it? Like… popping out her chest? After a few moments of struggling and pressing her chest in to an uuuncomfortable degree, she at least managed to prevent her boobs from being completely on display. When Byleth was finally dressed, Dorothea called out for the rest to enter, which they soon did! Caspar, Petra, Hubert and Ferdinand quickly stepped in. No Lindhardt? Well, he had always been extremely disinterested in everything, so it’s not too surprising…

Still, it felt kinda bad…

...but! Seeing the rest of her students made her pretty happy! They quickly exchanged greetings and everyone started talking at Byleth. Telling her about how long she’d been out. Telling her about how worried they had been. While Edelgard was mostly a nonparticipant in the conversation, she soon jumped in when Dorothea mentioned that ‘their little princess’ had locked herself in for days. Edelgard objected— but even Hubert rebuked her. After, though, she would fall silent again.

“Are you okay?” Byleth nudged Edelgard with her shoulder, before leaning in further against her. “Is something wrong?” The rest of the class had started talking and arguing among themselves again, as usual. El just silently pushed Byleth back and sat her up straight. Actually completely dismissing affection. “A-Are you okay!?” A bit louder, this time, and also much more panicked. It caught the ears of the rest of the class, and they quickly fell silent.

“I’m… fine.” Edelgard looked at Byleth for just a second, before moving her focus to Dorothea. “I just don’t care for publicly displaying affection.”

“S-Sorry…”

The mood in the room dropped. For just a second, that is. Hubert quickly broke the silence by loudly speaking “Ah. My apologies. We must’ve lost track of time. We should leave our professor to rest.”

“Eh?” Caspar interjected. “But we’ve only been here for like— ten minutes! We haven’t even—”

“We. Should. Leave. Our. Professor. To. Rest.” Hubert leaned menacingly over Caspar, but the blue-haired boy didn’t seem too intimidated. He nodded his head, though.

“But—” Bernadetta tried to interject, but Dorothea cut her off before she could say anything more.

“Didn’t you hear, Bernie-bear? We should let them rest. Them.”

“OH!” As if coming to a revelation, Bernie loudly exclaimed and nodded in agreement, before they finally all started to leave the room. One by one, until Byleth and Edelgard were left alone again. The pleasant mood that the other students had brought quickly faded..

...Edelgard seemed like she had gotten really unhappy. And that made Byleth really unhappy. “I’m sorry…” Byleth mumbled out again, but on what seemed like unlistening ears. Only after a few moments of leaving Byleth in painful silence, did Edelgard finally threw out a quick response.

“You’re dense.” “I-I’m sorry?”

Edelgard faced towards her flustered teacher. Her expression had changed for the lighter. No longer was it filled with enough annoyance that even Byleth could easily read it, she was smiling again. Even though she just said something insulting, she seemed… happier. Um, if that really makes you happier, Edelgard, you can say whatever you want… really! The pale-locked princess raised her hand towards Byleth’s chin. Index underneath, thumb on Byleth’s bottom lip.

...t-that’s… how Edelgard held her during their first… ah.. Oh. Edelgard wanted. To… um. Y-Yes?

“You really are no better than your brother. Helpless to any sort of hint or subtext. Do I really have to spell absolutely everything out for you?”

U-Um. It was pretty clear now. But Byleth still nodded. It’s better that way. There’s something extra wonderful about being told these things directly, you know?

“I’ve missed you. I’ve craved you. I’ve lusted after you. Being left to hang on just a kiss, after our mutual confession? It was awful, my teacher. I’ve never desired anyone as I have you. I’ve never had much of a libido, but after reuniting with you, my teacher? My body has been out of control. I want you, Byleth. And I’m taking what’s mine.”

Wah-wha… wha… um… wh… what? Those those those were a lot of words that had a lot of specific meanings that all kinda built up to the same thing aaah had Edelgard been horny out of her mind since Byleth had woken up? W-Was that why she was moody? B-Because Byleth said yes and then people interrupted them and then, um, um… w-wait… t-this was Rhea’s bed… c-could they really, on… ah. Edelgard’s hands moved towards Byleth’s shoulders. Pushing her down. Leaning over her, as she quickly worked off the jacket Byleth had borrowed from Dorothea. Pulling out the buttons that stuck it together, and pushing it off to her sides. Past her shoulders. It was no different than how she was dressed before… but with Edelgard leaning over her? She could see exactly how close their bare skins were from touching.

“You’re mine, Professor. Have you any idea how much I’ve suffered? You’re always clad in garments that accentuate your body. Your hips. Your thighs. Your ass. Your chest. Ah, your wonderfully full breasts… I’m going to make all of you mine, today. Right now.”

Yes. Yes please? Please make me yours! B-but… ahh. W-Wait, this is a little wrong... Wasn’t Edelgard supposed to be the inexperienced one, here? Shouldn’t Byleth be taking control of the situation, right around now? T-That’s how she preferred it, anyway! She could just take over, and teach Edelgard how to explore another woman’s body! B-But. She couldn’t move. Not with how Edelgard was grabbing around her body. Her digits playfully danced and dragged around Byleth’s rack, before firmly inching the tip of her index down her belly, until right above her groin. S-She was about to… s-she… her fingers were getting closer. Her fingers pushed against her undergarments… e-even into! She playfully flicked at the waistband that kept her panties in place, before hooking her fingers right in.

Edelgard was going to unveil her. Edelgard was going to see every last inch of her body, N-No, more. She was going to run her wonderful fingers… everywhere she wanted. She really was making her, hers. Claiming her with her graceful touch.

Someone knocked on the door. A-Are you serious? Now!? A-Ah, Edelgard looked back and gave the closed door a sharp glare, but chose to ignore it and instead kept her focus locked entirely on taking off Byleth’s undergarments. Rather than brutishly pulling them down or even ripping them straight off her body, Edelgard just left her teacher to suffer and whimper by unclothing her nethers with torturous patience. Just slowly making the thin fabric trail down Byleth’s thighs.

“Professor Eisner? El?” A voice Byleth didn’t quite recognize called out through the door. W-Wait, who the heck was that? It wasn’t her brother, a-and honestly if it was, it didn’t matter. Go away. Go away! We’re in the middle of something. Something much more important than whatever the heck you were going to say! Ahh, Byleth’s entire body felt so overwhelmingly needy… just stay quiet. They’ll go away. They’ll go away. They’ll definitely go away. Because they couldn’t possibly be interrupted again, right? It wasn’t Seteth, so nobody would be brash enough to open the door. No one else could possibly interrupt their… f-fun… their special time together! H-Her underwear was down. El’s fingers were… t-there. She’s going to… with her fingers… her soft, lithe fingers… aahh, they were against...

The door opened.

...and both of them kinda froze.

...why? Had she the strength to speak she would’ve probably shouted at their visitor to go away at the top of her lungs, but she couldn’t move. L-Like! It wasn’t like her body was too heavy to move, it was more like the idea of even moving a muscle seemed so stupidly overwhelming! S-Someone could see her… not just her, Edelgard, too! Someone could… see… them! Byleth had never quite felt this much raw anxiety on having a stranger’s eyes focused on her, but now she felt like she could die. She wanted to hide her face, and when she finally regained some semblance of energy, she reached up towards one of their pillows and firmly shoved it into her own face! It was so much worse than the pleasant embarrassment Edelgard had been giving her. It really felt like she could just go and die, especially since it was probably someone she at least vaguely knew! I-If it was just her own bare body or something, that wouldn’t be too bad! B-But like. Whoever saw her, had to see her in a position that left her this vulnerable!

“Oh.” Byleth could hear their voice call out, but absolutely nothing else. They hadn’t shut the door. They hadn’t walked away. Their spectator was just, awkwardly examining them. Occasionally stammering out another weak mumble. A-At least look away, you…!

“OUT” Only when Edelgard raised her voice did they finally shut the door. And they slammed it so roughly that the chandelier suspended above rang as glass and crystals clumsily clashed into one another. Leaving them with a haunting melody that served just to remind the couple of how someone had just been watching them.

“I-I didn’t see anything!” Instead of like, leaving or anything the person decided to yell at the pair. Y-Yeah, right! You were totally, definitely, undoubtedly watching! Byleth whimpered objections into her pillow, but they were too scrambled for even the mounting El to hear! A-Ahh. Why weren’t they leaving? Why couldn’t they just leave and like, get out of here!? T-That… t-that stupid… embarrassment turned into raw frustration.

“Byleth?” Edelgard whispered to her partner. Byleth tried to respond with a ‘yeah’ or a ‘yes’, but all she could really muster were some weak whimpers of acknowledgement that were further quieted by the pillow that was choking her voice down...w-wait, what are you doing!? D-Did Edelgard just start yanking on the pillow!? B-Because it was desperately trying to escape her grip! Oh no you don’t, I-I can’t let Edelgard see me like this! “Let go.” Nevermind. As soon as Edelgard commanded her, her hands moved away, a-and… g-geez…

B-Byleth clearly wasn’t the only one frustrated. Edelgard seemed to be clenching her jaws pretty tightly. P-Plus, rather than having a blissful smile blessed with the warm flushing of her skin, it seemed more like an awkward shade of red that she just couldn’t rub off her face. “Sorry…” the teacher whimpered out to her student. T-This felt bad, and the fact that Edelgard wasn’t responding was only making her feel worse! J-Just say something, anything…”I-I’m sorry!” Edelgard traced one of her hands up, and rested it on Byleth cheek. A-And her other…. T-the hand that had just been between Byleth’s l-legs… El shoved her nectar-drenched fingers right against Byleth’s lips. Forcing her to bare with her own musk. I-It was weird… r-really weird. Being confronted by the scent of her own arousal… b-before… she started pressing her fingers against her lips. Slipping past them, and against her teeth… a-and, when Byleth finally caught the hint, right into her mouth.

“Clean.” Byleth obediently nodded when her partner demanded her, and lapped at the nectar of her own lust. I-It… i-it was kinda weird… I-It was something Byleth had had to do many times before, but this was the first time she actually felt excited to obey. S-Somehow, Edelgard could even make Byleth’s own taste seem sweet. “Good girl.” A-Ah, Edelgard thought she was a good girl! Ahahaha, for some reason, that made Byleth really happy, even as El regretfully withdrew her fingers. Now coated in Byleth’s saliva rather than her nectar. She quickly moved her damp digits to the nearby sheets to wipe them clean, before finally rising to her feet and walking towards the door. Byleth scrambled to pull her panties back up and quickly covered herself with the now-damp blankets that littered the bed. A few seconds after, Edelgard would open the door.

“Please leave, Dimitri.” Oh, it was Dimitri?

“I-I really didn’t see anything…!”

“Please don’t test my patience, Dimitri.” Something about Edelgard’s voice sounded… really scary. Scary, but also really hot. She had lowered her voice to a more polite tone but her every word seemed to have some sort of bite underneath.

“I-I… I just had a message for Prof- err, Lady Eisner.” Edelgard glared quietly at Dimitri for a few moments longer, before opening the door a little bit further. O-Oh god. Dimitri was red in the face, too. Something about seeing him being embarrassed about all of this made Byleth feel even more overwhelmed. S-Stupid idiot… as the head of the Blue Lions entered the room, Byleth did her absolute best to fight her desire to hide under her blankets. “I-I, um… S-Seteth called for you. It’s s-s-supposedly an emergency!” but when she heard his voice, she just started hiding anyway. Um, Seteth? What did that grumpy guy want from her? T-That sounded like… u-um, it was probably bad. Well, too bad for him. Byleth’s legs felt a bit too wobbly to walk all the way to his office.

“And, your brother wanted me to apologize to you for taking your sword.” E-err, huh? What? H-he did? Wasn’t Byleth the only one that could use it? That’s… not fair. It isn’t yours, Byrett. “He… acknowledged it was very important to you. So he really wished to apologize..” T-Then why did he take it? G-Give it back! Byleth slowly pulled her head out of her blanket. For some reason, a few seconds after Byleth popped out, Dimtiri seemed to get uncomfortable and looked away.

Why? Why did he take… couldn’t he had taken anything else!? That weapon was the only thing her mother left her! It was her mother’s sword… it’s not fair. It’s really not fair! He has Rhea. He never had to be alone! Why would… he take away…? No! Ah. Why are you even worried about this!? It’s just a stupid sword. If Byrett took it for some reason, he probably needed it! He definitely had a good reason. Right? Yeah. But, no matter how much Byleth fought to convince herself, all she ended up stammering out was “Give it back…” If it was her mother’s sword, it’d rightfully belong to Byrett too, right? There shouldn’t be any problem with him having it, right? It’s wrong to be jealous! Especially now that she was finally mending her relationship with her brother! It’s. It’s not important! Not at all.

...Mom…

Byleth dug her fingers as deep into the sheets as she possibly could. She wanted to rip it apart. She wanted to scream. But all she could do was sit there. As the room got awfully quiet. Edelgard stepped over to Byleth, sitting down next to her and grabbing her hand. Mm, thanks, El… I love you.

“Um… ah! I-I also wanted to congratulate you two on your relationship!”

“Seriously? Now? After walking in on…” Edelgard raised her hand up and firmly buried her face into her palm. “Is your inability to read the room a disease, or are you really this oblivious?”

“Ah, no! I r-really… truly wanted to congratulate you two! I assumed a relationship between a teacher and a student would be doomed no matter where your lives bring you, but…” Oh, he was smiling. He looked between Edelgard and Byleth as she spoke, before finally letting his eyes rest on the Professor. “...I haven’t seen my dear friend smile like this, since we were children.”

A-ah.

That’s sweet. Wait, that’s sweet, right? Wait, no. Does that mean Byleth has been making Edelgard really happy? Even before they officially started dating Oh gosh. She… s-she was making her beloved girlfriend happy! She had been making her beloved girlfriend happy! That’s… that’s so wonderful! “‘My dear friend’?” Edelgard scoffed, dismissively waving one hand in front of her face. “How presumptuous.”

“Ah. But even now, El is still El. I’m happy you’re flattered.”

“Tch. As if approval from a noble, especially one as daft as you, would ever matter to me. Is this how all Faerghus’ noblemen conduct themselves? I’m impressed you’ve yet to drown in your own self-obsessed nature.” But even as Edelgard said all those things, Dimitri still smiled. “Do tell, how does one manage to develop enough basic manners to knock, yet cannot understand that silence is a rejection?” Edelgard was getting pretty worked up. Her voice was deepening with frustrations and her every word grew sharper. But Dimitri seemed completely nonplussed!

...even so, Byleth couldn’t really handle this atmosphere. Not right now. “Please don’t fight…”

“Ah, don’t worry, Lady Eisner. We’re not fighting, childhood friends are just prone to bickering. I’ll take my leave. I’ve said all I need to say.”and with that, the blonde boy left. Stepping out of the door, slowly closing it— but not without turning around one final time to say one last thing. “Oh, El. Sylvain told me to tell you something important!” he took a completely serious voice. It was enough to even crush whatever distaste Edelgard had for him. Um, did something bad happen? Did somethi—”Don’t forget to use protection.”

“You BITCH.” Had Dimitri not just closed the door behind him, it would’ve definitely been closed by the pillow Edelgard launched straight for Dimitri’s head. For a soft clump of feathers, it sure made a loud thump against the door. W-Wait, was what Dimitri said really that bad? He was just delivering a message! Something… a little stupid to tell two girls, but an innocent enough message none-the-less! Edelgard’s face had gotten all red, and her more-neutral expression had bloomed into a really, really, blatantly angry scowl. Geez, Edelgard’s expressions were never this… sharp. Byleth shuffled into her, hoping to at least provide her some comfort!

“I love you.”.

“I love you, too.”

Mm, good. She seemed a little calmer. Maybe they should… continue? Byleth sat herself up and latched onto Edelgard. Quickly pressing her lips onto Edelgard’s neck. They were just getting to the good parts! She just had to shuffle Edelgard’s shirt up, and— wait no why was Edelgard pulling away? N-noo… that’s not fair. El did turn to Byleth to give her a quick peck on the lips, but she was clearly breaking away from Byleth’s attempts at romance.

“I’m sorry. The only thing that makes me lose my mood faster than Dimitri’s voice is his face, and I just had to deal with both. Would you mind… delaying our passionate time until the night?” T-Their passionate time? Ahh, Byleth really wanted it now! But… if all she had to wait, was until tonight, that should be fine, right? Pretty much all of Byleth’s body screamed that it really wasn’t, but… she could never force something like this onto Edelgard. She smiled and nodded at her lover, and Edelgard soon continued. “...Thank you. I want our first— my first time, to be something special and memorable. I would rather not have Dimitri’s face sully an otherwise flawless forever-memory.”

...aww.

That’s… that’s really cute. Byleth knew that a ton of people treated their ‘first time’ having sex as something really special, but she never really understood why. It’s just a normal part of life, right? Whether it’s your first, tenth, of a hundredth time, it’s just a regular physical activity! A-A completely normal, regular, physical activity… Byleth couldn’t even remember her own first time! Surely, t-their first time together would fade into the depths of their memory in due time, right?

...yeah, Byleth really couldn’t fool herself. She’s gotten herself screwed silly so many times already, but… No matter what, her first time with Edelgard is going to be… special. Edelgard is the one she loves! It probably wasn’t even going to be a particularly good experience! Edelgard hadn’t even clipped her nails yet, and, well… whenever Byleth had someone’s first time, it was always really awkward and sometimes even unpleasant! But, well.. That didn’t matter. It could be the worst sex in her life, and it’d still be one of the most special moments she would always hold dear… Their first kiss. Their confession. Their first time meeting. Their… their everything. Because Edelgard is just so… perfect.

“I don’t mind waiting, if it’s for you… I’ve been waiting for you my entire life, after all.” For someone like Edelgard. For someone that could understand her. For someone that could hold her, and tell her it was all okay. Because her dreadful father never did. Because the family that was supposed to hold her like this, had been taken away from her. Because she was robbed of the friends she could’ve had, had she spent her life growing up in Garreg Mach like her brother did.

Coming here made her realize just how much ‘life’ she had missed. 

...how much… was kept away from her.

...and how much it meant that she could now have it.

In response, Edelgard made a few downright adorable noises. She sounded like she was trying to say something, but tripped on her words in a very, decidedly, un-Edelgard-y way. She soon regained her composure, though, smiled, and gave her own response. “How unexpectedly romantic.” she pressed her head forward and left a peck on her partner’s forehead. Mm. Even after Edelgard pulled back, Byleth could just feel the shape of those soft lips linger on her face. Her soft, lovely lips. She couldn’t bask in the afterglow for too long, though, because Edelgard stood up and started pacing around. First, getting herself dressed up, then grabbing some clothes for Byleth from the small room opposite to the exit. Uh, was that like a closet or something? W-Well, it didn’t matter. Byleth pulled her gown off, and got herself dressed, and as did Edelgard. “Meet me by my room tonight, my teacher… I’ll see you then.” Edelgard opened the door, and—

Mm. Edelgard probably had stuff to do. That’s alright. They… were naturally going to spend some time apart, even if they spent the rest of their lives together. That’s… normal, right? Sometimes Byleth would have a meeting and Edelgard wouldn’t be able to go, and Edelgard probably had some important Imperial stuff she’d have to deal with every now and then! That’s… normal. Right now, though, Byleth had to fight her absolute hardest not to yell at Edelgard to come back and cuddle her more. It just felt like nothing else could be as important.

...is that a bad thing?

Being controlling is a bad trait, right? Yeah. You can’t just… expect Edelgard to drop everything else for you, forever, just to spend time and do very little otherwise!

...is it okay to kinda just… want that, though? To just spend days and days clinging to your lover? Because that’s all Byleth could really think of doing. What else was there to do? Like, uh… what did she use to do to kill time? There had to be som—RIGHT. Reading. Yeah, definitely a little too much El on the mind. I-It probably shouldn’t, like… be hampering her ability to function, right?

Ahh, isn’t this how lovestruck teenagers act!? They’d be like, all confined to their beds and cuddling their pillow and kicking their legs around. And probably, like, rolling around and whimpering out their partner’s name. It always seemed really ridiculous! Except, well, now, that’s really all Byleth wanted to do. It ‘s such a weirdly overpowering feeling! 

...was it night yet?

Byleth hopped up and peeked out of the window. Nope. Still bright out. Definitely not yet. What to do…? Go to the school’s library and read? R-Right, she was probably behind on preparing her classes! Byleth stumbled around to look for the trusty notebook that Edelgard had left her, but it didn’t quite seem to be around. That… made sense. It was probably still in her room, or in their classroom! It’s not like she usually carried it around to other places. It was a little too valuable to risk losing due to her clumsiness. She actually really liked lugging it around, but misplacing it even once would be too many! So, Byleth figured it should be time to hit the library, and then her room. Or… hmm. Nah, she should probably go to her room first, so she’d actually know what lessons she’d be preparing for! Either way, it was time for the cheerful Byleth to go down and out! She dragged her butt down the stairs, and— hmm. Oh. Right! She had something else to do. Seteth had called for her, right? For some sort of… emergency? Right. Before she could drag herself a level lower, she decided to check out what that was all about. Byleth put her hand on the knob and almost instantly opened it, and probably would’ve if Dimitri’s earlier stint hadn’t so clearly punched the important into her soul.

Instead, she just knocked, and waited for approval. “Come in.” And so Byleth did. Stepping in, closing the door behind her, and approaching Seteth. He looked as stern as always, quill in one hand as he shuffled through and signed the various important-looking documents that covered his desk. Even with Byleth right in front of him, the diligent man refused to pull his attention away.

“Um, you called for me?”

“Ah, yes. I assume you know why you’re here?” Seteth signed one more document and then put his quill away. He actually looked up from his work and straight at Byleth. Um. No, that wasn’t pleasant. Please look back at your documents or something! There was something about him that just seemed… conceptually unkind. She hadn’t given it that much thought before today… did Seteth always have that scowl-looking face? H-He didn’t, right? At the very least, Byleth didn’t remember feeling so conceptually displeased by his presence. Byleth hesitantly shook her head. No, she honestly had no clue. “Don’t play dumb, Byleth.”

Y-Yikes. Um, most of her colleagues referred to her as ‘Lady Eisner’ or ‘Professor Eisner’, hearing herself be referred to by her first name was kind of… scary. People kinda leaned towards ‘Lady’ because she kinda shared a last name and profession with her brother, but… i-it hadn’t ever gotten like this! There was something kind of terrifying hidden behind his tone. Something that massively kicked in the ‘flight’ part of her fight-or-flight reflex. “I-I really don’t. I’m sorry…” it made her feel really stupid, too. Like, Dimitri hadn’t told her anything! How was she supposed to know!? The only thing stopping her responses from being more defensive was the fact that it was, well, Seteth. The air of authority he carried around him often sniffed out any such aggressive responses.

“Very well. I called you here to discuss your relationship with one of your students.”

Oh, what a relief. W-Wait, was that a relief? Um, right! When Seteth… had interrupted them, he HAD mentioned something like a punishment! Ah, you idiot. You sure look stupid now. Byleth hung her head. “I’m sorry.” she whimpered out. Ahh, stupid. Stupid! They were probably going to make her do a lot of paperwork or other boring stuff, or something. B-But, If it was to ensure her future with Edelgard, she didn’t really mind. She just had to do something to make up for it, and then everything’d be fine, right? That’s what her Father always made her do…

“Garreg Mach does not tolerate such uncouth behavior. Not only are you guilty of seducing a prestigious student under your direct guidance, you defiled a holy place with your disgusting carnal acts. The actions of our students may be out of our control, but you, as a teacher, should know better. For your abhorrent, predatory behaviour, you are now officially ███████████.”

...huh? What did he just say? She could’ve sworn he said a word, but it really really didn’t make sense given their current conversation! Because, if she didn’t...

No. That couldn’t be. She must’ve misheard him, right? Because why would he ever say that? Byleth shook her head, and forced an awkward smile onto her lips. Yeah, she definitely misheard him. “I-I’m sorry, could you repeat that…?” yeah! She definitely misheard him. So, he just needed to repeat himself and this weird feeling would be cleared up, right? Because there’s no way this could happen.

There’s no way she could lose what she had come to love.

That wouldn’t be fair.

“Terminated. As of today, you are no longer a teacher at Garreg Mach. The Archbishop may have chosen to forgive you of your worst sins, but I have not. Her blessings may have saved you from incarceration, but I refuse to let you ever be under the employment of Garreg Mach or any related facilities, ever again. You disgust me, Byleth.”

Ahahaha. Yeah! She heard it right. A short laugh peeked from her throat, before striking in with a decisive “No.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re wrong. You’re lying. You’re just like my father.”

“Ma’am, I would really appreciate it if you left my office, and Garreg Mach itself. I would rather you never return.”

...no.

Who the hell do you think you are!? You can’t… fire me! You can’t take this away from me! I tried so hard for this stupid job! It was scary! It was the worst! But I fell in love with it! And I’m not letting you take it away! Take it back! Take it back! Words Byleth so desperately wanted to scream out, but all she could muster was a pathetic whimper.

Because this is wrong.

This isn’t… how it should be. This isn’t how it will be. This isn’t. This just isn’t.

Don’t you dare take this away from me. Don’t you DARE. Today is a good day. I woke up after a long nap, and will spend all night with Edelgard! And then, the day after, I’m going to go to work again! As a teacher, at Garreg Mach! For my lovely students! With my beloved Edelgard! Don’t you dare. This is the happiest I’ve ever been. I won’t let you break it. I won’t let you destroy it.

_ Are you going to accept this? _

Ah, get out of my head! Get out! You’re just going to make it worse! Shut up already! All you want to do is take Edelgard away and just keep her for yourself! Like hell I’ll listen to you! I understand you now. You just want to… take over my body, and claim Edelgard like she’s your property!

_ Don’t get distracted. Are you going to accept this? Are you going to let Seteth separate you from the one I love? From the students we adore? _

Well, no! But not because you told me! Urgh! And you, shut up! Seteth was still talking, too! Byleth covered her ears, all whilst her fingers dug deep into her hair. As if to stop anything from pulling them away from her ears. Both of you need to shut up! Sothis, ‘Byleth’, whatever you are! Shut up! And you, too! Ahh. He was still talking. He wouldn’t stop talking. And he was talking so slowly and loudly. In this echoing, bellowing voice. It made every last sound he made feel miserably eternal as they just raked their way into her brain! She couldn’t even tell what he was saying, anymore. It was all nonsense. Stupid, stupid nonsense!

Why won’t you shut up!? Do I have to shut you up? Byleth wanted to scream at both her inner self and the man that stood before her, but she couldn’t quite get her voice to function. It was just stuck, as a scraping feeling in her throat.

_ Why don’t you just kill him? _

KILL!? Are you insane!? If I did something like that, I’d REALLY get in trouble! Plus, Flayn would hate me! Rhea would hate me! My brother would hate me! My father would hate me, even more! And Edelgard, would surely—

_ ...still love me. Why would that change? The man that stands in front of you is our enemy. He’s just Seiros’ filthy handmaiden. When Edelgard starts her revolutionary war, he will be one of your opposing generals. He will lead an army, and he will harm— and maybe even kill, your precious students! _

Wh… what are you even talking about!? How do you know all of this? And a war!? Edelgard? Why would she ever want to start a war!? Edelgard would… never, do something like that!

_ I am the Goddess, and you are my pathetic self. I’ve experienced this, all of this. Thousands of times. You can kill him and claim he attacked you. Rhea will believe you, even if others initially won’t. What else can you do? Beg for your job back? Don’t bother. Just take his life. It is the option most likely to work. I’ve been here, over a hundred times. _

I see. If… those are my two options, that’d make a lot of sense, right? If I kill him, we’ll just be able to continue our lives, as if nothing happened. It’ll be a little rough, but, like Hanneman… surely, everyone would forgive me. Right? Even the students from the Golden Deer don’t look at me weirdly anymore when I step walk past him. That’s… what you’re saying. It is what would let us continue our beautiful life together.

_ You finally understand. Even a failure as yourself— may be able to guide us to a perfect world. As long as you listen to my words. _

...right. If you have been here a thousand times before, you know what’ll happen. You’ve tried everything, haven’t you? So if I listen to you, I’ll be able to be with Edelgard forever. And that means—

Reality snapped back like a rubber band. The warped, slowed down words that Seteth spoke returned to clarity. The voice that plagued her head was no longer. Whatever had stolen away Byleth’s mind focus had washed away, and the reality in front of her returned to the limelight. 

...ah, wait. When did she get onto her knees? Her knees felt a little bit weird. Did she fall? What… whatever. Byleth pulled her hands away from her head, and gently pulled her gaze back up. Letting her gaze lock with Seteth, no matter how painful it may be. To be locked eye-to-eye with someone Byleth felt nothing but rage towards.

Byleth had two choices here, right? She could beg for her job back, or she could kill Seteth, right here. If that was the case, only one thing made sense. There was no duality in options. Someone that has been in this exact situation a thousand times just told you, what the correct answer was. Indeed, there is only one real answer—

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Speaking hurts. Her face felt weird. It felt like someone was scraping out the inside of her throat with a rusted sickle. Cutting up her every attempt at speech. If she were no longer a teacher, she could no longer be with Edelgard. She would no longer be able to stay on the campus of Garreg Mach. She would need to find some other job to fund herself and to stay alive, and all of her opportunities to be with Edelgard would be quickly shaved away. The only way to continue their relationship would be to hold onto her job.

So what she had to do was simple. It was really simple.

“I’ll… go away. I’m sorry. It’s… my fault. I’ll take responsibility. Please… don’t blame Edelgard. I love her.”

—for one that has been wrong a thousand times cannot be trusted. If the Goddess that lived in her head had accomplished nothing but failure, opposing her is the only real option. Because… if she’s speaking the truth?

Any of her choices could lead to Edelgard’s death.

...any of HER choices. Not my own.

“It… uh… errr…” Seteth spoke in hums in hahs. Looking for words that had been lost to him. “Well spoken. If you truly accept your responsibility, I’ll… humbly rescind my disgust.” After Seteth finished speaking, Byleth pulled herself onto her feet and nodded. This hurt. This felt wrong. This was akin to leaving Edelgard behind. This was no different from saying that her relationship with Edelgard was a mistake.

“I’m sorry…”

“Well, your actions as a teacher may disgust me, but—” Seteth interrupted himself with a deep sigh. “...I cannot put fault on you, as a person. Even my teenage self chased his heart, straight into deep trouble.”

“I’m… I’m sorry… I really love her...”

“Byleth—” Seteth scrambled out from behind his desk. After a few seconds of awkwardly fumbling about, he made his way to Byleth, holding a piece of cloth at her ready. “A maiden’s tears are an unfair weapon. Please clean off your face, I get it...” Huh? Tears? No, that’s not right. That’d mean she’d be… oh. Her cheeks were feeling a bit cold. Her vision had gone a little foggy. And the pain in her throat… yeah.

“Thank you… I’m sorry.” Byleth whimpered as she wiped her face clean of her cloudy tears. “I don’t want to be bad to her… I love her…”

“It— urk.” Seteth cleared his throat and fixed up his posture. He took the handkerchief back and dropped it straight on his desk. His expression returned to the regular stern face he wore at all times. “In any case, you should probably start packing up your room. I expect you to leave it by the end of the month. If you need any help finding new lodging, you can ask Flayn or myself for some assistance.”

“...okay.”

Byleth stepped back and away. Out of the office. Away from whom had just hurt her.

...now what was… what was she supposed to do?


End file.
